Looking for someone to stay over with my independent 12-yr-old during my night shifts in London – what’s reasonable & who to ask?

[Rasnos]

Hi everyone,

I’m in a bit of a bind and hoping for some ideas and advice from those who’ve done something similar.

I work night shifts and have an independent (fairly self-sufficient) 12-year-old. He does not need full childminding or care all night — more like someone to stay with him at home (or perhaps host him over) with zero responsibilities: being there, making sure he’s okay, I leave 9 pm so I just need someone who stays through the night and goes in the morning.

What I’m wondering:

• Has anyone done this (sleep-over / overnight helper) and how did you arrange it safely & fairly?
• What kind of rates are people charging / expecting in London for this sort of thing?
• Where do you find someone you trust for this — private sitter, agency, older student, etc?

thank you all

A student might be easiest - especially if you have a spare room you could offer as free accomodation. Failing that google something like overnight babysitter and location or overnight creche and location

Sorry not London but perhaps worth looking at - A childminder who lives near us advertises that she is registered for overnight care for ages 3-15. A school mum uses her as she works away every few months for a couple of nights butI can’t imagine it being cheap.

You could try Koru kids? But personally I would put it out on a street WhatsApp group or similar and see if you can find someone you know who has an adult child at university that needs some extra cash

Make sure they are fully vetted ie dbs checked and reliable. Can’t you ask a relative - sleep over with cousins or grandparents? Is Dad around - maybe his side of family can help. Or stay with a school friend?

How regularly will you need an overnight? If it’s a handful of pretty fixed days a month, offering a room at reduced rent to a mature student or lodger on the understanding that in return they give X amounts of nights “on call” to be at home, sober, and ready to leap into action if needed might be an option.

My friend, mother of my 11-year-goddaughter pays about £20 an hour for an overnight when she has a work trip. North east London, babysitting agency. It was a fairly difficult gig to get somebody for: whilst she doesn’t need “minding”, the sitter has to be somebody able to be alert and on hand, ready to do first aid or drive to a hospital in the worst of situations, with the added antisocial hours premium thrown in on top because they’re out of their own home all night. Most babysitters who offer evening care don’t want a full night shift: if they have a day childcare job to go to, as many do, it’s still work, they don’t get to properly switch off on a sleeper, even when they’re not “doing” much care.

Is it possible for him to stay with friends and their parents?
Possibly reciprocating if they want an adult only break?
Not sure of safe guarding requirements for overnight stays to be honest but would think a few initial visits would be necessary for you all to get to know each other.
or
contact a care agency. Used to be £80 for overnight stays in my area a few years back. I would make it clear though that they are not there to supervise only to make sure he is in his room by crime and he has his meals - they are there to clear up and prepare and be on call as needed

Good thinking. I bet the OP has not even considered relatives!

A nurse friend paid a student £30 a night (22pm-7am) for this job. It was never a problem to find a good student for sleeping at her house.

As a nanny, the going rate from what I have seen is anywhere between a fixed rate of around £75 per night and an hourly rate of minimum wage (£12.21). It is a tough gig as many people have their own families, so the suggestion of a local uni student is a good idea. I think the rules have changed now but an au pair would have been ideal for this situation