I have a 15yr old DD with ASD, ADHD, severe mental health issues. Although in a special school which she loves, she has been in school refusal the past two years due to anxiety. I have got a DH who has terminal cancer (rare form) that can be treated but not cured. He is in remission but 3 years of treatment has left his body weakened and exhausted and he is immunosupressed. My mother lives with us in a granny flat - she has got mental health issues and severe osteoporosis so keeps breaking things, and prior to that had cancer although now in remission. My grandmother is also alive - with dementia and now in a care home for just over a year. I have been looking after all of them, fighting for them with health, social care, council education department etc, carrying the responsibilities of the house and day to day life for everyone for 15 years. My DD's biological father was very abusive (we split when she was a baby) and I had to fight him in court for 3 years. I've given up my career and being running my own business in a far less demanding area for the past 8 years as my caring role has grown. My DH works full time in a job he loves but it is all he has energy for. Now I've developed my own health issues but I'm still holding everyone else and keeping them all going and doing all the stuff I've always done for them. I try and do some enjoyable bits for myself but these are usually tacked on at the end of the day if I have time. I should add in that my mum never thinks I'm good enough and always criticising me. Ive tried to talk to her about it in the past but she just blames me and says she can't help it if I feel like she is saying that. I try to take no notice but it is upsetting. My DH almost certainly has ASD too and is very black and white with my DD's ASD and ADHD and it causes a lot of friction. However he can also be very understanding. I don’t have time, energy or inclination to see my friends any more - i feel like I've got nothing to offer them other than me moaning and no one wants that. I don't want that! I've always been positive and tried to keep happy and not moan but I'm so done. Final straw came today - my DD has actually seemed a bit more settled since starting back this term. It felt like a little bit of the pressure had lifted. But no, she had a huge meltdown and couldn't cope - came out that she has just been masking and nothing has actually changed since last year. The school are amazing and so supportive, but I just don't have the energy to fight another battle about what provision she needs, or to keep on encouraging her to the level she needs or to educate her at home or even to email her teacher and explain what is wrong this time. I feel resentful and angry with her and worn out with the whole of my life. There isn't anyone else who can do any of it. I'm an only child, so is my husband, his parents are elderly and in poor health. I know i have to find a way to carry on but can't summon the energy to even talk to DD or DH at this point. I don't sleep much because I'm in constant severe pain with one of my health issues. Sorry for huge moan. Just needed to get it off my chest.