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Carers

Caring for elderly relatives? Supercarers can help

Who Cares?

3 replies

PopeJoan2 · 25/06/2025 08:53

A lot of my life has been taken up with caring over the past few years. It is so time consuming (to say the least) and I had to make sacrifices to do it. I spent a lot of time uplifting the person I cared for, giving them hope and lightening their burden. I have found it rewarding. Unfortunately, it has made me a kind of figure of mockery within my family. It feels as though people see me as a pathetic loser for taking on the role while they just got on with their own lives and refused to help. They feel they can say and do what they like to me.

One relative was going through a hard time and took it out on me, cussing and telling me what an awful person I am. When I asked them for an example of my behaviour so I can change it, they weren’t able to name a single thing I had done wrong but continued to cuss me out.

My caring duties have lessened somewhat recently but I feel so drained and low - as though I have lost myself. The world seems so harsh and I feel like a big softie pushover out of step with the current m.o.

was I wrong to take on caring? Should I have just ignored the person’s need for care?

How do you get yourself back after an extended period of caring? How do you make yourself strong and how do you start to feel joy again?

OP posts:
EmeraldRoulette · 25/06/2025 13:02

It sounds as if the critical family members are the problem, not you being a carer.

I didn't cope with caring for my mum at all. I really admire what you do. I agree that the world seems very harsh. But no one ever criticised me for caring for her (or trying to)

Elreon · 11/07/2025 13:06

Part of the problem is the judgmental language people use- like the verb "to cope". After almost 50 years of neoliberalism many people are utterly selfish and social cohesion is ruined. So some people are sufficiently damaged to think that caring is itself a sign of weakness. Honestly I would cut ties with anyone who has behaved in that way immediately

PopeJoan2 · 12/07/2025 08:36

I find it hard to cut ties as family is everything to me and I am not young anymore. It isn’t so easy to make new friends. Thank you both for replying.

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