This is really sensitive but would appreciate some advice. Please don't judge me, just want some advice please, particularly if theres anyone who has been in my position. Thank you :)
Im a carer for my mum. She has copd and continues to smoke. She has had hospital admissions this year, one was because her sodium levels were low and recently, had a fall in the kitchen. She came home last friday from hospital after her fall, the hospital were kind enough to give her a walker, which she uses sometimes, but has also been able to get to the toilet or walk into the kitchen unaided. Past couple of days she has been saying that shes in more pain so i suggested we call the doctor to see if she could take something different to her co-drydamol. She said no. Im not sure when she is putting on being needed to be waited upon and when shes not ok to be honest. I have heard her get up downstairs to go to the door to get her takeaway delivery in record time (she thought i was having a nap upstairs). Shes in bed for approximately 16 hours each day. Mostly due to her returning home and continuing to smoke, so she lacks energy.I have also heard her walk into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich. She is my mum and i care about her but I do think shes taking advantage. I stopped rolling her cigarettes a long time ago because i dont like the taste of it and shes not bedridden, shes capable of doing that so put a stop to it. She seems to be selctive as to when she can and cant do things. If I call her out on things she'll make me feel bad for mentioning it. When she does get ill, she won't tell me shes run out of her trimbo inhaler but thinks paramedics are her speed dial and then i find out while theyre there as she'll say yeah, i think im ill because my inhalers have run out. I try motivating her to get up and about more and shes selective about when she can or cant. I know this makes me sound like a horrible person and im not. She knows I cared for my nan when she got ill from copd and how much i did for her and wants the same, except my mum is nowhere near being bedridden yet. Is there such a thing as patient syndrome? When she's in hospital she does nothing but moan about the food, noise and doesnt like waiting for nurses, doctors etc.
Sorry for long one. x