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Caring for elderly relatives? Supercarers can help

Original poster

Childminder driving our car

90 replies

SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 15:08

I'm starting work on Tuesday after being a SAHM for the last 7 years. The job came up suddenly and I didn't expect to get it and have been left scrambling for childcare 3 days a week.
I need someone who can drive as we are a 20 min walk from school and the kids do lots of different activities that require them to be driven.
I found a minder who drives and thought the 4 kids would fit in her car, 3 in back and one in front. The only need 2 booster cushions and 1 narrow high back booster as they're are aged 5 to 11.

Now she's suddenly saying she's not comfortable with them in her car and she'd have to drive our car and it's all fine as she's got comprehensive insurance and do do I. But when I looked it up I said she might need business insurance as its for a job. She's saying we can't say that as she wants cash in hand so it's technically 'not a job' and she'll say she's my sister helping me out if asked. I'm worried that if anything happened, the insurance company wouldn't pay out as they would find out she's not my sister.

I've asked her to provide her policy document that says she's got comprehensive insurance and a copy of her licence. But she said she rang her insurance company and it's all good. My husband thinks I'm being ridiculous and we just need to get her, trust her about the insurance, regardless of seeing the policy. She then asked why exactly I need to see her documents which I thought was a red flag.

Am I being unreasonable?
And is she covered to drive our car on her insurance with the kids?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 16:18

Let me guess op

she’s cheap

Makebelievedream · 15/03/2025 16:51

She hasn't shown you her documents because they don't exist.

She told you she rang them because it requires zero proof.

Do you want such a liar looking after your kids?

What happens when you ask How did Billy get this scratch? Oh he fell. Did George go to football practice? Yes, yes he did.

None of which you'll be able to confirm, believe or trust. Who wants someone like that in charge of their children??

LastHeraldMage · 15/03/2025 17:09

FFS "She's saying we can't say that as she wants cash in hand so it's technically 'not a job' and she'll say she's my sister helping me out if asked. I'm worried that if anything happened, the insurance company wouldn't pay out as they would find out she's not my sister."

Fucking hell, she's not that bright is she?

Bearhunt468 · 15/03/2025 18:18

Your seriously going to trust your children with this person? Definitely not a childminder as if it's cash in hand then they are not going to be registered? Do you understand if they are not registered you cannot claim any of the funded hours or tax free childcare benefits to pay for it?

littleluncheon · 15/03/2025 18:23

She is a nanny not a childminder and employing someone is expensive. Are you sure you want to do that?

You can't do it illegally, you need to set up payroll, pensions etc and yes, provide a car and she needs business insurance.

Have you done a DBS check and ensured she has a first aid certificate?

Zippidydoodah · 15/03/2025 18:27

Goodness me, no. Don’t they have wraparound care at your children’s schools?

notthenewsagain · 15/03/2025 18:55

I'd put money on it she's not a registered childminder.

Original poster
SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 19:37

No, unfortunately there is no wraparound care at the children's school, or obviously I would go for that.
It is for 3 days of 4 hours of care, so 12 hours in total. And most of the minders here want to do that cash in hand. So it is not unusual here. We are in Ireland.

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 19:39

Bearhunt468 · 15/03/2025 18:18

Your seriously going to trust your children with this person? Definitely not a childminder as if it's cash in hand then they are not going to be registered? Do you understand if they are not registered you cannot claim any of the funded hours or tax free childcare benefits to pay for it?

We are in Ireland, so I don't think any of that applies. Most of the childminders here who mind in the parent's home are looking to be paid cash in hand. I am looking for 12 hours care total for my 4 children.

OP posts:
Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 19:40

Sounds like you have really very carefully researched and planned this op. And found a brilliant candidate to care for your four young children 🤔

Original poster
SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 19:42

Makebelievedream · 15/03/2025 16:51

She hasn't shown you her documents because they don't exist.

She told you she rang them because it requires zero proof.

Do you want such a liar looking after your kids?

What happens when you ask How did Billy get this scratch? Oh he fell. Did George go to football practice? Yes, yes he did.

None of which you'll be able to confirm, believe or trust. Who wants someone like that in charge of their children??

Update : she has sent me through her insurance policy document, but not her driver's licence. The policy document has a lot of things blacked out. I'm not sure why.... And I don't see a no claims bonus added, even though she claims she's been driving for 20 years and has never had a crash...

OP posts:
Fagli · 15/03/2025 19:42

SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 19:39

We are in Ireland, so I don't think any of that applies. Most of the childminders here who mind in the parent's home are looking to be paid cash in hand. I am looking for 12 hours care total for my 4 children.

Show quote history

I didn’t realise you could opt out of paying tax in Ireland? I’m surprised it’s not advertised more as a tax haven. I guess the climate isn’t as good as the Caribbean.

Original poster
SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 19:44

Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 19:40

Sounds like you have really very carefully researched and planned this op. And found a brilliant candidate to care for your four young children 🤔

I only found 3 candidates, and one barely spoke English and this was the only one who drives.
I have checked her references, she was with a family for 6 years who I spoke to on the phone, and she also volunteers with the hospice, who also spoke highly of her, so I thought she was OK until this insurance issue came up.

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 20:04

Fagli · 15/03/2025 19:42

I didn’t realise you could opt out of paying tax in Ireland? I’m surprised it’s not advertised more as a tax haven. I guess the climate isn’t as good as the Caribbean.

Show quote history

Climate is awful 😂. No you are not supposed to opt out, but most of the childminders with short hours want to be paid in cash.

OP posts:
littleluncheon · 15/03/2025 20:27

SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 20:04

Climate is awful 😂. No you are not supposed to opt out, but most of the childminders with short hours want to be paid in cash.

Show quote history

I think maybe the confusion is that in the UK 'childminder' is a registered and regulated profession, whereas you are using childminder to refer to what we'd generally call a babysitter.

minnienono · 15/03/2025 20:45

in the U.K. she would be described as a nanny or babysitter. Quite normal for a nanny to drive children but you provide a vehicle and insure it. I would want a copy of her license

Original poster
SilverDoublet · 15/03/2025 22:46

minnienono · 15/03/2025 20:45

in the U.K. she would be described as a nanny or babysitter. Quite normal for a nanny to drive children but you provide a vehicle and insure it. I would want a copy of her license

Husband thinks I'm being unreasonable and suspicious, not trusting people, asking for copies of her driver's licence and insurance policy, like I'm insulting her. He's making out like I'm the one over the top here...

OP posts:
eurochick · 16/03/2025 07:01

I’m in the U.K. but adding our nanny onto our car insurance for business use cost very little. I did need her driving licence details and a note of any claims or traffic violations though.

Chuchoter · 16/03/2025 07:02

'She's saying we can't say that as she wants cash in hand so it's technically 'not a job' and she'll say she's my sister helping me out if asked'

Tax paying avoided wrong 'un.

Do not let this scumbag near your children.

Ketchupbroc · 16/03/2025 07:21

Head. Wall. Bang.

And to think there’s 4 young children involved

labradorservant · 16/03/2025 08:23

My DS babysits kids and runs them around every so often. He has full business cover on the car.
And the insurance company will ask if she is your sister. They do check everything before they have to pay a penny!

olympicsrock · 16/03/2025 08:31

No this isn’t good.
She lies and is tax dodging . She will lie about how your car got a massive dent in it. I would not have someone who is essential a stranger driving my car . And I wouldn’t hire this woman to look after my children. There is no reason she can’t use her own car. She doesn’t want to because she prefers not to spend petrol and have the inside of her own car made a mess of. She might even decide to sell her own car if she can use yours .

Ketchupbroc · 16/03/2025 08:48

Chuchoter · 16/03/2025 07:02

'She's saying we can't say that as she wants cash in hand so it's technically 'not a job' and she'll say she's my sister helping me out if asked'

Tax paying avoided wrong 'un.

Do not let this scumbag near your children.

Their father is all for it!

Ketchupbroc · 16/03/2025 08:49

labradorservant · 16/03/2025 08:23

My DS babysits kids and runs them around every so often. He has full business cover on the car.
And the insurance company will ask if she is your sister. They do check everything before they have to pay a penny!

How old is he? @labradorservant

labradorservant · 16/03/2025 08:51

He’s 18. He’s only done it twice but still insured.