Blue Badge Use

[BlueBadge]

Hey all. Name change for this one as combined with previous stuff I've posted it's pretty outing.

DM is disabled and has a terminal diagnosis - she can walk (just about) but we normally use a wheelchair/mobility scooter. She can drive, and LOVES driving, spending several hours a day in the car. I'm probably her primary carer (she lives with me, I sort all laundry/chores/food), but also work full time so my siblings are around a bit. She has a blue badge. She is also, unbelievably, stubborn, to the point where if she feels 'wronged' and someone won't help her/draws a boundary, she'll insist on doing something herself, even if it lands her in hospital. If you try and have a conversation and it doesn't go her way, she will sulk - this actually seems to bring on full on 'episodes' and back to hospital she'll go. For this reason, plus the fact it's a terminal diagnosis so will not happen forever, for the most part she gets away with murder, and I've made my peace with it.

Often when I'm in the car with her, we'll stop at a convenience store or similar for me to run an errand (normally related to her). She will ALWAYS park in a disabled badge spot, even if she's not getting out of the car. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable because we don't need the spot, I'm perfectly capable of walking a few steps further, I worry someone else will need the space, and I worry I'll be judged/approached (with good reason I think!)

I've asked her many times to park elsewhere. She says she needs to because the bigger spaces require less turning of the steering wheel, so hurts her less (?!?!), or she parks there in case she might need the loo (she never does), and it benefits her for me to be faster 😂 I KNOW it's just her being stubborn but she really digs her heels in! If I refuse to get out, she'll go inside herself huffily, and will be in considerable pain afterwards.

Apparently, when my siblings are in the car, they don't care because the car has a blue badge so technically it can park there (I'm aware the rules of blue badge use don't actually say this!) but they see it as a non-issue.

Anyone encountered this before and have any advice? Even if it's horror stories of getting tickets I can tell her 😉 Or should I just pick my battles separately.

If the disabled person is not exiting the vehicle then they are not supposed to use a disabled space. That's very clearly stated in the instructions that come with the blue badge. Op this isn't a fight you'll win. Worst case scenario is that she'll get caught and they'll remove the blue badge, but it's unlikely.

You won’t change her, Op, it’s maybe she feels that she can ‘control’ this aspect of her life, which she can’t do with her disability or diagnosis. So try to keep your cool, and just remind her calmly (occasionally) that you hope she doesn’t get caught misusing her blue badge or it will be taken off her, and then what will she do?

• You should not use the badge to allow non-disabled people to take advantage of the benefits while you sit in the car.

Yes, I think you are right and I was wrong - you can’t run errands for her even if she is driving.

I didn’t know that re not parking in BB spaces if the disabled person isn’t going out of the car.
Ive seen so many people clearly doing exactly that!!

@BlueBadge I dont think you’ll win that one.
I would ignore it. If she ever has any issue about it, she’ll have to deal with it.
(More likely, she’ll get told off and hopefully will stop)

Just realised that the reason she is parking there and doesn’t want to take the normal spaces is because they are much easier to park in!
Im pretty sure she would t have an issue if you were the one driving and manoeuvring

Thanks all 🫣 Will acknowledge it's a battle I won't win 😬