Firstly, I've a very dysfunctional family so "normal" rules likely won't apply.
My elderly DM is likely to be told that she has a fairly nasty cancer today and thus may well need personal care, hospice care etc very soon.
I live 4 hours away and am not able to move closer or become a carer for DM. We have a very complex and very toxic relationship. Moving to care for DM would likely destroy me mentally in less than 24 hours. My sibling lives 20 mins away from DM but will likely do zip to help.
DM owns her own place and likely (I don't know) has savings such that she'll not qualify for means tested benefits etc. Currently she is independent mentally 100%, still drives, very very slow walking but as the cancer progresses this is likely to change and possibly quite fast.
I'm basically looking for any pointers or info re what's available in terms of care / help for her (in Scotland) that I can direct her towards? She may well refuse any help or tell the NHS that her family will do it (I won't/ can't) but that's up to her.
Basically just trying to get some idea of where I can point her should she need home care, help with washing, dressing, housework, cooking, help getting to get groceries etc in the coming weeks and months and also what happens once she's too sick to be at home?
Thank you so much in advance.