Getting rid of mobile phone to set out boundries

[Smarties88]

I'm a carer for my Dad & recently moved in with him to provide support. He has delusions but no physical or mental health cause has been found & he has declined any further investigations. He has been assessed as having capacity to make this decision.
I've just started a new job and he is phoning and texting me throughout the day telling me that the forces are controlling his TV and he can't watch the channels that he wants & turning his heating off. He normally settles with a bit of reassurance but I'm finding this is really interrupting my concentration at work and it's awkward if he phones when I'm with a client. I've put the numbers for NHS24 & Samaritans up on the fridge and he will phone them if he is very distressed when I'm driving and can't answer the phone. His Brother has a restraining order against him & we have no other family.
I'm considering getting rid of my phone so I can concentrate at work. I would tell Dad to email or FB message me if he needs me & I'll check this on my lunch & tea breaks.
I've previously had to give up a job due to this & I really don't want to give up work again. I like having my own money & sense of purpose outside the home.
Has anyone done this? Does anyone else have any ideas how I can get the peace I need to concentrate at work & remain in employment? Dad won't accept carers or attend a day centre.

Use the Do Not Disturb setting on your mobile. You can set it for particular times/days and also allow certain numbers through.

Mine is set so DM can't ring me during work/commute times but DH and DD's school will ring through.

Either use the Do Not Disturb function on your phone or block him. You can unblock later at a convenient moment if you wish, it doesn't have to be permanent.

That's a good idea but Dad would worry why I wasn't answering the phone if he couldn't get through for a long period of time.

Well tell him you can't answer the phone at work. Then do Do Not Disturb or block the number.

It doesn't matter if you can check the phone at work, tell him you can't but you'll be able to check in your lunch break or whatever.

He knows I have to use it to keep in touch with colleagues. I think I'm going to get rid of my mobile & buy a wee cheap Nokia as a work phone. I won't give Dad the number.

Your phone is the least of your problems. There is something much more going on here. Have you had him assessed at a memory clinic?

Yes there was no cognitive impairment identified. He's had a head scan which was normal too. He has been assessed by a psychiatrist & doesn't meet the criteria for any mental health condition. General Medicine couldn't find a cause. His diagnosis is delusions & hallucinations of unknown origin. I've been told they are unlikely to ever find a cause. I've paid for private second opinions from a neurologist & a psychiatrist. As he may not get better I need to find coping strategies to help me to care for him.

I hate to say it but you have chosen to be your DDad's carer. Presumably you are being supported financially (benefits and DDad?) for doing this.

Being a carer isn't easy. You don't get to pick and chose. Your DDad needs the support.

I get nothing financially. I didn't choose to become Dad's carer. There is literally no one else.

I have too much in savings to qualify for benefits. Dad refused to engage with applying for PIP benefits.

You do have a choice. Don't know where you were living before, but move back out again, tell social services you are no longer able to provide any care and let them get on with it.

Agreed.

You know that you're allowed to lie to your father? It seems utterly bizarre to contemplate actually giving up your phone instead of just telling him that you have, or that there are new rules about taking personal calls at work, or some other similar excuse.

Regardless of whether he has a diagnosis or not, it sounds like his delusions are worsening and he may need to be re-assessed before long. Keep all the texts etc to show his medical team at his next review.