Please can someone give me any advice or point me in the right direction? Need help asap

[Lauren0401]

Hi,

my 70 year old mum unexpectedly and very suddenly passed away yesterday, she basically looked and did everything for my 85 year old dad. He’s recently had a new hip and was scheduled for a new knee in august. He really struggles to walk or even get into bed , they didn’t have a cleaner and she would get the bits from the local shops and I would do a bigger one in the weekend. He can’t wash or make feed without help.

I’ve stayed with him last night and today but I know I can’t do that long term.

where can I phone or speak to for advice? I just don’t know what to do will he need a carer would that be very costly. I just have a million questions and my heads mashed at the minute.

thank you in advance

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.

www.ageuk.org.uk/services/

If you visit age uk you can put your dads postcode in and they will direct you to local services and there will be a number for you to call for advice.

What a difficult time for you, make sure you look after yourself too, you sound like a lovely caring person

Xx

You can also call your Council's adult social care department who should be able to organise emergency care even if he has to pay for it longer term though you might have to be very firm that you're unable to help, and there should also be a carers support service locally, probably run by a charity, who will be able to advise. Sorry for your loss and the situation you're now in. It's so difficult. Have you got other family to support?

@Lolacat1234 thank you so much. I don’t know why I didn’t think of age uk! That’s very helpful

Contact your local adult social services helpdesk, or even his GP and explain the situation.

It took weeks to get carers in for my Dad and that was palliative/urgent. If your Dad has the budget, a private care company may be able to help so I'd try a few of those as well.

I'm so sorry about your Mum

Social services can also arrange things like meals on wheels if there is a service in the area, I forgot to say.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum.
You don't have to sort everything out in one go. Your local Carers Centre, should be able to support you, either face-face or on the phone.