Meal plan for very frail grandmother

[lookslikeabombhitit]

Hi, I'm looking for some cooking advice really... My grandma has been recently bereaved and is understandably struggling. She has severe COPD as well as other health problems. Since my grandad died her weight has plummeted and she isn't well enough to cook for herself. As a result she's relying on small microwave meals or sandwiches/ toast that my aunt takes her.

I know she has an appetite if she is fed (i.e. home cooked food, decent portion size). I'm wondering if anyone has any meal plans that they batch cook for their elderly relatives. She absolutely won't go into care, refuses to have carers etc so ideally I need a calorific meal plan that covers at least 5 days a week with snacks etc that I can leave for her to either unwrap and eat or re-heat and eat. She's very traditional in food tastes- meat, eggs, veg- nothing spicy. Don't think I've ever seen her eat rice or pasta to be honest.... I'm veggie and we eat all sorts so I can't really pull on that to feed her. She'd be aggrieved without a bit of meat. 😂

I've already contacted the GP to ask about ensure/ high calorie supplements.

Thank you! X

How about those porridge pots where you just either add water or microwave for breakfast? With an added spoon of honey/peanut butter etc.
Mince in gravy with frozen mash and veg - frozen and then reheated might work for dinners?
Sorry not much help - I'm vegan myself but I'm trying to remember what my grandad used to eat in a similar situation.

Shepherds pie- you can include plenty of veg with the meat so that it’s a complete meal in itself. Hotpot ditto, or fish pie.

Soup, especially chunky soups such as Delia’s lentil and bacon.

My mum likes any sort of mash-topped pie: shepherd’s, cottage, creamy chicken. Also, she really, really likes fish & chips.

These are often used by the elderly:
https://www.wiltshirefarmfoods.com/about-our-food

Does Meals on Wheels still exist? It seems extremely unfair that you all need to worry about cooking for her.

Before she went into care my Mum had frozen microwave meals from Oakhouse which had plenty of traditional meat and two veg options. We also made sure she had lots of yogurts, custard, fresh fruit and frozen veg and icecream in her online shop. She at bread, butter and peanut butter every day too. And cheese and biscuits. And cake every afternoon and a few squares of chocolate at night. Whole milk in tea and coffee.

Older people seem to develop a sweet tooth and it doesn't really matter if they eat a less than perfect diet so long as there's sufficient calories. She probably only needs about 1500 calories a day if she doesn't move much.

Desserts - custard / jelly / mousse / ice cream in any configuration or combination.

Lasagne would be an easy choice to batch cook.

Tesco Hearty range of frozen meals are pretty tasty, and dead cheap.

My parents also use parsleybox. Don't need to go in a freezer. Bloody pricey for small portions, eg £3 for a small meal. Bubble and squeak was very nice (although small - only comes in at around 200-300calories if I recall).

Re Ensure - I could barely swallow for weeks before Christmas due to the mess of covid (took me weeks to work out anything to eat, lost lots of weight, still a limited, GP red-flagging me etc etc). GP said current NHS prescribing advice is that you can only have Ensure if you are eating literally nothing. You can get off Amazon, although it is pricey.

Rachel's deluxe creamy rice pudding was a game changer for my fussy, frail FIL

I batch cook for my mum who is housebound with things like cottage pie, lasagne, chicken and leek pie filling with mash (no pastry as I don't think it will freeze well), I've just frozen a roast dinner but not done that before so not sure how it reheats

I also buy ready meals from M&S so roast dinners, shepherd pie, lamb hot pot, curry, etc, I try new ones and as my mums fussy I have a list of things she won't have again but M&S do mini meals as well as full sized so I get my mum a selection.

I also make soup so sometimes but I struggle to find the soup bags I normally use to freeze it in

We have looked at delivered ready meals as she got a leaflet through the door but not tried them yet

Not all GPs prescribe things like ensure anymore, people were using them and not eating. Also you can buy similar things without prescription. Much healthier versions too. I’d be having a chat about her not wanting carets and the limit of what you can provide as a family if there is a ceiling to your care or you’re willing to do everything as it becomes needed.

Do you have an Age UK near you? Our local one delivers home cooked food every day and you can order extras like sandwiches to put aside for tea.

We bought my Dad an easy microwave - just the two dials.

I buy cook from frozen ready meals and I write the cook time on.the front on a white sticky label. Makes it easier. Homemade dishes I made for his freezer - beef stew, chicken in red wine and I put potato in to make it an easy meal.

He has stuff he likes like sliced bread and tea loaf in the freezer in bags of 2.

I'd like him to have Wiltshire Farm Foods but before we lost Mum she said they were expensive (which they were for 2 people when she could easily cook a variety) but it's stuck in his mind everytime I mention.them, which is a pity but I cant rewrite history (sadly).

I like the look of Georgie Porgie Puddings online..not cheap but look.nice.

This might be worth a read

ipswichandeastsuffolkccg.nhs.uk/Portals/1/Content/Members%20Area/Clinical%20Area/Medicine%20managment/CCG%20formularies/Dietetics%20formulary/Care%20homes%20Nutrition%20in%20Older%20Adults.pdf

Trying to think of ‘traditional food’ you can reheat, maybe:
sausage casserole
corned beef hash with either mash topping or done as stew
lentil soup (could add gammon) with a roll
chicken casserole
chicken in white sauce
gammon and leeks in white sauce
pork in cider
beef stew with dumplings

could serve these with micro mash, or micro mini potatoes. You can also just bake a rectangle of pastry- if you cut some ready made into rectangles she might be able to put them in the oven?

In fact you could probably look at Colman’s packet mixes for ideas- I’m not suggesting you use them!

Fortifying drinks can get them on prescription, provide calories and nutrients

My mum loved the traditional m and s ready meals. 'Proper dinners' she used to call them. The microwave ones like sausage and mash, stew and dumplings and shepherds pie were always well received

I’m probably in a similar situation than your mu re ability to cook.
My saver is a slow cooker and any meal you can do using them. You can simply chuck all the ingredients in and let it work. I’ve also prepared all the ingredients (meat, spices, veg etc…) in one bag, froze it and then just put the bag content in the slow cooker.

Batch cooked of course.

ideas
curries
beef bourgonese
pork (in cider, pulled, etc…)
spanish chicken (tomato and chorizo)
bolognese sauce
…

I was also going to suggest Wiltshire Farm Foods

When my dad died at 80 my mum didn't eat. It was such a big part of their daily routine and cooking for 1 was painful.

I found that if I portioned up whatever we were having in small takeaway containers, these got eaten.

It was the being bothered to eat rather than not being hungry or not wanting to eat. It sounds similar to your grandma.

These small portions mean she could put it in the microwave and have a decent meal in a few minutes. It meant she ate.

It took her about 9 months to recover enough to start to cook again.

So I didn't cook anything specially, I just plated her a meal up each night.

OP my mum was similar. If I put food in front of her, she ate.

have you tried COOK? They do lots of microwaveable meals as well as oven stuff. You could get a load delivered to her and just make them when you get there.

www.cookfood.net

I drop my Nan who is in her 90s a huge quiche once a week, I bake it with 8 eggs and as much cheese as I can pack into it! It's so calorific, has kept her going for years now and can be eaten cold or heated in the microwave.

DM had Charlie Binhams, not cheap but they do traditional stuff and puddings now.
you should also make sure she drinks at least 6 drinks a day, any fluids are fine.
How about a nip of sherry about 1/2 hour before a meal? Just a small amount of alcohol lowers the blood glucose and encourages an appetite.
Cheaper nutritional supplements include Aymes shake, it comes in sachets and you mix it with blue top milk, more calories than Ensure.
@Justmemyselfandi999 your quiche sounds delicious and a great idea for getting the protein and calories in

Some great suggestions above, some of which I am going to nab for myself, as I have a small appetite due to stomach and swallowing stuff and often can't face what I cook.

I have survived very well though on home made smoothie, made with oats, berries, walnuts, flax, spinach and vanilla protein powder. It fills me up till lunchtime. I make a batch at a time (on water) and it lasts 5 days, it doesn't go off either.

Lunch is a plain sandwich of tinned salmon, or cooked chicken or cheese on wholemeal bread and salady bits.

Dinner is the bogey. I just can't face meat and two veg or a big plate of anything really, so I rely on full fat Greek yogurt and home made soup most of the time. Sometimes just a big bowl of porridge with cinnamon and cream.

I did see a dietician when in hospital, and all I got from it were the main food groups necessary for me. I am doing that and to maintain weight was advised to use full fat everything and real butter. And I do!

Older people often revert to childhood faves and prefer sweet stuff
I would have plenty of snacks about
Cakes, biscuits, chocolate, mini desserts (like the GU ones or creme caramel, pots of rice pudding and custard), ready to drink milkshake if she likes it, sweets, pork pies, anything "unhealthy"! Just to get calories in

I worked as a carer and often if someone refused a meal they would say yes to a toasted tea cake or I would leave a plate of tiny cut up stuff and it would be eaten or sweets would be picked at

reading this from slightly different angle, MiL same traditional food tastes, won’t go near pasta! But bed bound atm so buying a mix of M&S and others microwave traditional meals, bread rolls, cheese, pork pies etc for tea - yogurts, mini truffles, fruit etc BUT carers are not giving her the vegetables or the puddings and don’t seem to give many snacks. I am throwing away food as it goes off/past sell by. I leave notes and typed a table listing the contents and sell by dates. They put half eaten microwave fish dish back the fridge to reheat! We can’t visit every day to check, when we do visit we find snacks and encourage more eating. She is not getting near to enough protein or calories. 🙁

Pies are a favourite with my dad. Cottage pie, with extra chopped veg added, with cheesy mash on top. I've also done variations on that so chicken leek and spinach in white sauce, (with mash on top so it's all in one dish), chicken in red wine casserole with mushrooms, chopped up sausage in onion gravy etc. You can slice the potatoes instead of mash for a change!

It is difficult if they won't eat things like pasta and rice (my dad does so I make him curries and lasagne as well)