Mum stressing about what attendance allowance is for

[AlternativelyWired]

Mum was awarded AA and is stressing about what to use it for. She thinks that as I'm down as her carer that I should be paid out of it and possibly do more for her but simultaneously wants to be more independent. I'm physically with her most days and even when I'm not I'm doing shopping, financial stuff and lots of emotional support on the phone. I don't want her to pay me, it doesn't seem right to take money from her.
Anyone else in a similar situation?

tell her not to stress.

There are no restrictions on how you can spend your Attendance Allowance, and you do not have to spend it on paying for the care that you need. However, your council or trust can take Attendance Allowance into account when calculating how much you might need to pay for any care services you receive.
www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/financial-support/help-with-benefits/attendance-allowance

are you claiming carers allowance for yourself, she doesn't need to use her attendance allowance to pay you, would she treat herself to anything to make her life easier

While there are no restrictions on what she can use it for, I really do think that it should be used for extra external support on top of what you currently do.

If she doesn’t currently need it for a carer, what about cleaner, gardener, home hairdresser, chiropodist, meal delivery, companionship from a local self-employed carer?

A friend who’s a self-employed carer takes one of her clients for a potter round the shops once a week.

For my mum we (she and I) used Attendance Allowance for the things that made her life better. She didn't have to worry about having the heating on for instance and she could have a takeaway whenever she fancied it.

How is she now @AlternativelyWired?

She's not too bad thank you but on good days feels guilty for receiving the higher rate 😩 She's adapting well to being disabled but I think the colder months will be really hard going for her, and me but at least the garden won't need watering and the lawn mowing.

We've had similar with a distant relative. In the end we pointed out that they didn't feel guilty or refuse Child Benefit. In the end they conceded abs haven't really mentioned it since. (We were nice about how we pointed it out).

Is she getting everything else that she might be entitled to like Pension Credit or Warm Home Discount?