Hello, I am now officially my mum's carer and she has just been awarded Attendance Allowance. I'm not sure yet if it's the basic rate or the higher rate just that several hundred pounds has been paid into her account and she is waiting on the letter to explain it all.
I've cared for my mum at various times over the years after bad injuries due to accidents and at her most dependent I was there 10 hours a day whilst breastfeeding my youngest and getting the two older ones to and from school and was/am a single parent. It's been tough at times but I love helping my mum. I'm the only one who helps her and I get pretty annoyed that my siblings don't do more but I'm glad that mum can rely on me. There have been carers in the past after injuries but they were rubbish as they couldn't come at the times she needed them and weren't very professional. I'm a retired nurse and set high standards and mum very much appreciates everything I do. My dc help out too when they can with my middle child cooking a meal for her some times if I'm busy with after school stuff. It's becoming a real team effort.
Mum might improve but she might not. She's independent with lots of things like all her personal care but can't stand to cook or hang out laundry or clean etc. the pain medication makes her a bit fuzzy at times and I am always on call to help her remember things and re-explain things. Otherwise she's fully with it and her only issue is her mobility. She's working hard with the physio and improving psychologically too as that was a big barrier for her. She's in her 80s but more like early 70s so she's very frustrated by her situation.
I don't feel happy taking any money off her for what I do but she has said the attendance allowance is partially for me. Yes, I do a lot for her but she's my
Mum and I'm happy to help. Is anyone else in a similar position? At the most I'd accept money for my transport to her house because I don't drive and use taxis when I have big bags of shopping or laundry to transport. Most times we walk. It would be maybe £20 a week for bus and taxi fares.
In addition to the money side of things has anyone any advice for support for me when things sometimes get a bit much? We had a couple of bad weeks a while ago and it's very tiring. My eldest is very troubled and lives with her dad; suicidal, truant, drinking, you name it. My middle one and I are waiting for autism assessments and I have chronic physical conditions too as well as working part time. I'm doing ok but I'd like to know where to go for support should I need it.
Sorry that was very long!