Carers won't bath MIL

10 replies

Notsurewhyimhere80 · 19/11/2021 15:29

MIL has dementia and my FIL is struggling to cope with washing her. The carers give her a flannal wash and it's left to my FIL and SIL to bath her. They have an electric bath seat which she sits on and it lowers her in. Apparently even two carers wouldn't manage to bath her even though a nearly 80 and 48 year old can struggle through it.

It seems like a constant battle to get any form of help and I know the care staff over over worked but it just seems like all dignity for her is going if she can't even get a proper wash.

Has any got any advice or recommendations?

OP posts:

Munchyseeds · 14/12/2021 20:37

Is she compliant or is it difficult....if it's a struggle or dangerous then they won't do it
Why does it take 2 people??

katieg03 · 14/12/2021 20:44

How much time has been allocated for her?

sjxoxo · 14/12/2021 20:49

Are these private carers coming in to her home? Normally you can ask for various specific tasks etc- If they aren’t prepared to do it you could look for an alternative agency? I expect it will be costly due to the time it might take. Sending a hand hold op- finding the right care solution is so hard, i have grandparents in the same situation. The carers are good generally but I know they rush through visits fairly often xo

Theunamedcat · 14/12/2021 20:50

Hire a specific bath carer or bath call my aunt used to pay privately for my nan to have a proper bath weekly that was her only duty was to bath and dress her appropriately

Original poster

Notsurewhyimhere80 · 14/12/2021 20:55

Thanks for the responses. Thankfully a family friend who is high up in dementia care is coming once a week to bath her hopefully!

OP posts:

ItsDinah · 14/12/2021 21:04

I would be looking at replacing the bath with a large walk in shower. Your MIL may be able to get a grant to help with this. Ask the local authority about it.

chesteroo · 08/02/2022 20:44

Ask Occupational Health to assess and if deemed safe have the care plan updated to include bathing.

Redlorryyellowduck · 08/02/2022 20:50

Is it to do with the length of the call? It can take a surprisingly long time to bath someone and dress them safely.

AssignedBlobbyAtBirth · 08/02/2022 21:03

Who issued the bath lift? Ask for an occupational therapist to assess. Most care companies want an OT to say the aid is safe

CMOTDibbler · 08/02/2022 21:04

I would imagine it would be around the length of the care visit slot. It took over an hour for my mum to have a bath, sometimes longer as she had to be undressed, the bath prepared, cajoled onto the bath seat, washed, hair wash (not her favourite so a bit of negotiation) then persuaded that it was time to get out (the really tricky bit as she loved a bath once in and would royally kick off if she felt she hadn't had long enough which was really dangerous), dried, dressed and so on. It was only possible as they had a 2 hour slot once a week

Flip