anyoen else struggling with being main carer?

[misdee]

dh isnt happy meeting with hospice tomorrow about extra care,. i have been feeling shit about it tbh, and it resulted i na row where i walked out briefly.

just fed up of trying to juggle my own health and state of mind with dh's.

Misdee, unfortunately for your dh, you need a break. You need help with this - why should you shoulder it alone? What help will you be to your (otherwise lovely) dh, if you get ill with this.

You are right on this one.

.

thank you.

just not sure how i can make him understand that belive or not, its not just about him but the whole family.

I guess his world gets smaller. You are right, don't back down, for your own sake. You have to start/continue to do something for you. Yes life is crap for your dh, but why shuld he or anyone think it's easy for you?

It will all feel ever so slightly better after a night's kip.

x

Misdee, night night.

(as in I'm off - not an order to you - )

It's not even as if it's just YOU you have to look after, there's the kids to take into account as well, that you need to look after your health for. I hope that once you speak to the hospice people some of DH@s concerns will be allayed (I imagine they are used to people having these sort of issues)

I was a 18 months ago. I know its so different and can't imagine what it's like for your family, but when dp was ill and couldn't be left alone for weeks on end, it was so hard, especially with small children - you're pulled in every direction adn have no space or time to yourself - which you really really need if you're to be there for anyone else anyway.

It's really important to push your needs back to the top of the list if you've any chance of keeping up with what everyone else needs, otherwise you'll be ill too. Your dh needs to understand this really.

Good luck tomorrow, hope you reach an agreement that's good for everyone xx

well he is coming to the hospice this afternoon. i thinmk we were both very down about it yesterday. say the word 'hospice' and some people assume its for end of life care. its quite scary.

how did it go Misdee?

not good. he can get some time off there, i cant. i either have to get a babysitter for dd3 and go with him, or get a carer to take him, which uses up our hours allowence, and stil ldoesnt get me time off as wil lthen have dd3 with me.