Caring for my elderly dad and facing homelessness

[Emmanoodlebum]

Hi I'm very new to this but need some advice. Until a year ago I lived in an army quarter with my husband and two teenage children... I was happy... I came home to Manchester to visit my 76 year old dad. I was shocked on the conditions he was living in and how his health had deteriorated. After a lot of tears and talking I decided to stay with my dad and sort out his medication and his home.. he begged me to do this and my husband and kids went back to Dorset to finish their gcses. This was supposed to be temporary however over a year later and I'm still with my dad in his housing association house sleeping in the living room with my husband who had to leave the army due to having crohns disease. My daughter in one room son in the other and dad has the main bedroom. I wish I'd never done it... My dad's health is getting worse and he is putting a strain on my once happy family. But I can't leave because he needs me. We have tried to get our own home and get caters in to help me but because we have a roof over our heads No one will house us. So I asked my dad's housing association what would happen to me if my dad had to go into.a care home... they said they would evict me and my family. I'm torn between sticking it out and caring for my dad to see what happens or move out ( I'm band 2 on another council list) I feel like I'm stuck between my family and my dad. I.dont know what to do. Has anyone else been in this situation. Will I become homeless.. if I get my own home should I take my father with me. Sorry if I'm warbling

I'm very surprised that you can't get your name on the tenancy.

Speak to SHELTER immediately about this.

You may need to repeatedly ring to get through but they WILLhelp and advise you on this.

I agree with cheap - call Shelter for advice. Did your dad inherit the tenancy from another family member?

You may have succession rights but only if your father dies, if you have lived there for more than 12 months, your father does not have a spouse, the tenancy commenced before April 2012 (or succession is allowed in the TA) and your father himself had not already succeeded to the tenancy. You may already be statutarily homeless, give Shelter a call. SSAFA may also be able to help in some way, with a deposit for private rented.

I've already spoken to shelter and I have an appointment with them next week. If irwell valley will give me a copy of the tenancy. I've also spoken to ssafa who said we should fight this decision as irwell valley have signed the Armed forces Covenant Act. I'm not sure I've got any fight left in me though.

Hasn't your Dad got a copy of the tenancy somewhere?

No it's not anywhere. I'm hoping we receive it today or tomorrow. I've just emailed SSAFA again for some advice :(

You haven't said what your father health problems are, and keeping his privacy is fine. What I would say is that if he has dementia then the probable outcome will be a care home at some point. It just becomes too difficult. Other caring also takes it toll on emotions, family, sleep etc but with dementia in the end people tend to become a risk to themselves. Think wandering off or trying to cook in the middle of the night.

If your husband well enough to be the carer for your father ? So you could try to find a job so private landlords become an option ?

Is your father claiming PIP if he needs full-time care?

Yes he claims it. The money is not really the issue and no he doesnt have dementia, he also has capacity. He has severe level 3 COPD and heart issues. Ive decided we will have to move into our own home and take my father with me, he will be distraught that he will have to leave the family home after 40 plus years

Your commitment to caring for him is admirable. He will be devastated but you have to think about all of your family. He cannot really be happy that you and your DH are having to sleep on the sofa.