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Carers

Caring for elderly relatives? Supercarers can help

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Original poster

it took 40 mins to get 71 year old MIL off the floor

16 replies

LovePotatoes · 30/12/2013 17:31

Im still feeling the stress of it...
Just wanted to share and see how others cope with elderly parents/in laws. By default i am caring for MIL who we live with. She has Parkinsons and dementia. She is obese.
I was upstairs with my two small children. Heard.her shouting for me. Found her on the tiled floor next to kitchen sink.
It wqs so hard to get her up. I was not calm throughout. I cannot help but think that potentially there is another ten years looking after her. Husband is goin to change work pattern so he cqn take more responsibilty too.
Old age can be so awful. I feel such a bad person for not being more patient etc.....
I need to get to chemist n get her medipacks...

OP posts:

kelda · 30/12/2013 17:34

Sympathy. If that happens again, I would make sure she was comfortable with a blanket/pillow, and call someone for help. You risk injuring yourself.

Have you spoken to the GP? I am hoping more posters will be along with advice on all the help that hopefully is available to you.

NotALondoner · 30/12/2013 17:37

Could you have called an ambulance? Would they have a hoist?

fusspot66 · 30/12/2013 17:37

I think you can call the fire brigade to help her up in future. Also seek.out a carers support agency for local knowledge of what help is out there. In my area it's called Signpost. You could ask PALS about your local carers' services.

kelda · 30/12/2013 17:38

Oh and don't feel like a bad person. You are doing your best in a difficult situation.

fridayfreedom · 30/12/2013 17:39

Once someone is on the floor they are not going to fall any further. As above , make them more comfy, check for injuries, then get help. Less likely to do more damage to you or them that way.
Ask GP to see her and ask for a referral to the local falls clinic, they can give advice re falls prevention and also advice on what to do if it happens again.

boysrock · 30/12/2013 17:42

If that happens in future you ring the ambulance. They will pick her up and check her over.

By pucking her up yourself you risk injuring yourself and then you cant look after your dc, injuring her or missing an injury. Its not worth the risk. As pp look into support. Social services are worth chatting to as they will have a list of services and respite etc that can come in very useful.

Best of luck

Original poster

LovePotatoes · 30/12/2013 17:42

Thanks everyone. I didnt know that emergency services would help. Thanks again

OP posts:

KatyMac · 30/12/2013 17:43

I agree with fridayfreedom; picking her up and you could both end up hurt

CMOTDibbler · 30/12/2013 17:44

I'd def ask for a referral to the falls clinic. When I took my mum to the memory clinic the other week, the Dr told me it was a pity my mum had only had the one fall as it tended to attract a lot of support (this was in the context of my parents being on the edge of coping and not getting a lot of support, so was a v kind hint).

Has your MIL had an SS assessment - maybe you could get some help, and the AS have support workers who can signpost help to you too.

Come and join us on the parents with dementia thread in Elderly Parents for moral support

NotALondoner · 30/12/2013 17:46

And whatever help you find and accept, please Do Not feel guilty about leaving it to the professionals. That is what they are there for.

ProfessorDent · 23/03/2014 13:14

I'd be wary of calling out the ambulance too often. My Dad did this with my Mum, who had advanced Parky's and was non responsive too, prob due to having a UTI. Once she was in hospital they sort of held her hostage then manoeuvred to get her into a nursing home (expensive natch).

It is yet another thing I don't get why hasn't been invented, a sort of fork-lift truck style machine you can roll someone on to, then raise them up and onto a chair or something. Can't be that hard, surely.

Beanymonster · 23/03/2014 13:28

If you speak to the doctor for a referral then certain agencies can do a risk assessment on your home, and provide you with free hire of equipment.. We got a hoist for my mum as she fell frequently?

FreeSpirit89 · 10/05/2014 14:58

We had a red button service for my grandfather. When he fell me (23 at the time) and my dad who's 6ft with the world of strength struggled we had to have an ambulance come and help.

Don't feel to disheartened it's difficult, remember to breathe and take time for you x

3littlefrogs · 10/05/2014 15:03

ProfessorDent - I have always found that the paramedics would rather not take an elderly person to hospital if they can possibly avoid it.

I have found that they are very thorough in checking them over, then if there is someone around to keep an eye on them they are happy to settle them at home.

Hospital isn't the best place for an old person.

youmakemydreams · 10/05/2014 15:09

Yes you need more support. Mil got support from the district nurses when she was caring for her mother. If she had a fall she was to make her comfortable and call them. They came out with inflatables rolled her on and they lifted to chair/bed height. This was arranged through her gp. I do think you need to go and seek some more support. If you injured yourself you would be no good to anyone.

OnGoldenPond · 22/03/2015 00:31

Next time definitely ring for ambulance or you risk injury to you both.

You urgently need a care needs assessment as her needs are clearly too much for you to cope with alone. Contact adult services at your local council. You are legally entitled to this assessment and it must be carried out without delay.

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