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New car seat for DD? Struggling a lot with getting her into current one!

13 replies

Letsdosomestargazing · 11/11/2025 20:50

DD is two and boy, don’t I know it … She can be really difficult about going into the car seat. Generally she’s fine with going in once or twice but the more I have to get her in and out the more she lets me know she does not appreciate this and to say it’s a struggle is an understatement. I have honestly been worried about hurting her, not on purpose but because she fights so hard on occasion. She’s my second child so some in and out is inevitable, especially on school runs.

I was wondering about the Cybex as I believe this doesn’t have straps? I wondered if anyone had any more information on it - her current one is Maxi Cosi Mica.

OP posts:
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BeenChangedForGood · 12/11/2025 05:10

@Letsdosomestargazing First obvious question OP - does she actually need to be in and out the car seat so much? Could you walk and let her walk/bike/scooter some of the journeys?

Im certainly not a car seat expert so please don’t quote me on it and do your own research but last time I was looking at car seats the Cybex one came up (I believe you mean the Pallas with the body bar?) and I researched it a bit just because it looked so odd! I believe they’re sold under certain standards that mean they don’t have to be tested in a rollover collision situation, and than when they have been independently tested in those situations the child is often thrown from the seat. So it’s not one I would buy personally.

We actually changed from the Mica at about 2 as DS was uncomfortable and didn’t have much leg room. Rear facing is safest so we wanted an extended rear facing seat. He’s now 5 and in the Axkid Minikid 4 Max and it’s fab. He’s super comfy and got loads of room to grow in it yet ☺️

WittyJadeStork · 12/11/2025 06:23

I’m pointing out the obvious but are the straps correctly adjusted? I presume she’s in a 9-18kg seat Do you have a spare or a different make you could borrow from someone? I had to switch to a different seat when one of mine was a similar age. I was lucky and a friend gave me one.

Letsdosomestargazing · 12/11/2025 08:16

There is no way around the car journeys. We live on a windy, narrow country road with no pavements that cars, tractors, lorries go flying down massively in excess of the national speed limit. Ds’s school is actually at the other end of this road but a good four miles down! It would be amazing exercise but risky to say the least and just too far to walk.

I’m pretty sure the straps are OK. Her seat will go either way but she goes absolutely mental if you rear face her so that’s out.

OP posts:
Glasscabinet · 12/11/2025 08:20

My DD hates her car seat with a passion. Quite often ask her if she wants a snack/her milk and then she gets it once she’s strapped in. Otherwise I was having to using my knee to get her in place.

BertieBotts · 12/11/2025 23:47

The Cybex Pallas (and the Anoris which is the one with the airbag) is subject to a rollover test just as all other car seats sold in the UK are. It is a static inversion I believe rather than the seat needing to be placed into an actual vehicle and rolled - that would be too expensive as it writes off the vehicle. I know that there is a video somewhere on the internet showing a crash test dummy coming out of a seat like this in an actual vehicle rollover test (which as said, is prohibitively expensive, so rarely performed). OTOH 5 point harness seats are excellent in rollovers - basically 0 problems, provided they are used properly.

The newer standard (R129) is slightly stricter on some aspects of the impact shield seats - some of the R44 ones often had issues actually engaging the pelvis of younger/smaller children. The newer standard addresses this and should hopefully offer better protection in rollover crashes, and possibly offset crashes (where you crash head on but only part of each car interacts, common in e.g. overtaking accidents or when someone is too far into the opposite direction lane).

The data from real world crashes shows that impact shields, even the older ones, have roughly the same overall performance as 5 point harness seats used forward facing. So the claims that the companies used to make that they are "nearly as good" as rear facing are not really correct. They do have lower neck loads than a forward facing seat but this is offset by the fact they have higher ejection rates which tend to be in those rollover/offset crashes, and higher abdominal loading. However the other thing in their favour is that they are very rarely misused. The data on this is back from when all the seats were R44 and they were all fixed with the seatbelt itself directly holding the shield in place. These days with the R129 ones the shield clips into the seat using belts integrated into the shield and must be tightened. I don't know if those are harder to use. I used to have one of the seatbelt ones for DS1 (now 17!) - He was quite happy with the shield, but I think he too would have protested being taken in and out multiple times in a row.

My gut feeling OP is that your DD is reacting to being restrained and she is being a very typical toddler. You have taken her out of the seat for a short time and she understandably doesn't want to go back in. I would probably use something like bribery (e.g. let her choose a favourite song, let her hold a special toy, reserved only for the car, or have a snack) and try to increase time in between car trips so she has a chance to have a play/run around/be in control etc before she has to go back into the car. I appreciate it might not always be practical to do that. But it's quite likely that there is nothing wrong with the seat itself, except that it is boring to be stuck in there.

It is also possible she could be experiencing the beginnings of car sickness - some children start to have this around the age of 2. It could be worth getting her eyes checked as car sickness can be associated with short sightedness.

If you're driving on country lanes then offset crashes are more likely, rollovers are also I believe more likely in a 4x4 type car, and so on balance, a very good 5 point harness seat is likely to be better than an impact shield. Maxi Cosi is a good brand and their seats perform well forward facing. The support leg of the Mica does the same job as a top tether in terms of reducing forward rotation. Straps should be level or slightly above shoulders for forward facing. Don't put her in the seat in a coat - it's uncomfortably hot and it will make the straps too loose, even if they seem pulled tight. Unfortunately it could be the combo of being taken in and out of a coat and the car all at the same time - if you have a thin coat like a fleece for this reason, maybe open windows to keep the car cooler, remember car seats are often lined with a polystyrene type material which can be hot. At 2, forward facing is not so risky that it must be avoided. Yes, rear facing is better to the point it's worth some mild inconvenience, but it's not worth battling against extreme distress. (You probably know most of this already, but just in case!)

Letsdosomestargazing · 13/11/2025 07:13

Thanks @BertieBotts - I think it was you who first recommended the Maxi Cosi Mica, actually!

Sometimes the mini Yoto or milk or food work but other times she’s just on one. It isn’t often but in true toddler fashion it always seems to happen at the worst possible timing and I had a hellish time getting her in on the way back from school on Tuesday - her side was roadside and I just couldn’t get her in and there was a big queue of traffic as they couldn’t get past because my door was open Blush

My car is only a Mini so not a 4 x 4. She doesn’t ever wear a coat in there either. I’m kind of looking forward to her turning three as at least you can kind of, sort of reason with a three year old … although you do get endless ‘I’m NOT your best friend’ in retaliation!

OP posts:
NearlyDec · 13/11/2025 07:15

Letsdosomestargazing · 13/11/2025 07:13

Thanks @BertieBotts - I think it was you who first recommended the Maxi Cosi Mica, actually!

Sometimes the mini Yoto or milk or food work but other times she’s just on one. It isn’t often but in true toddler fashion it always seems to happen at the worst possible timing and I had a hellish time getting her in on the way back from school on Tuesday - her side was roadside and I just couldn’t get her in and there was a big queue of traffic as they couldn’t get past because my door was open Blush

My car is only a Mini so not a 4 x 4. She doesn’t ever wear a coat in there either. I’m kind of looking forward to her turning three as at least you can kind of, sort of reason with a three year old … although you do get endless ‘I’m NOT your best friend’ in retaliation!

It sounds like she could be reacting to your behaviour when you’re stressed.

Letsdosomestargazing · 13/11/2025 07:16

Possibly but there are many times I’m as calm as anything and she’ll be resistant to it, so let’s not put the blame entirely at my door?

OP posts:
NearlyDec · 13/11/2025 07:19

Letsdosomestargazing · 13/11/2025 07:16

Possibly but there are many times I’m as calm as anything and she’ll be resistant to it, so let’s not put the blame entirely at my door?

I’m not blaming you. I’m responding to what you daud about her being off on one at the most difficult time. I was trying to help but I will leave that to others.

Letsdosomestargazing · 13/11/2025 07:23

NearlyDec · 13/11/2025 07:15

It sounds like she could be reacting to your behaviour when you’re stressed.

I’m sorry if I misinterpreted this post, but I’m not really sure how it does anything other than blame me. That may not have been meant unkindly, but it does say that her behaviour is because of mine.

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NearlyDec · 13/11/2025 10:25

Only if you think being stressed is your fault.

Letsdosomestargazing · 13/11/2025 11:47

Well, it isn’t DDs, is it? Smile

OP posts:
NearlyDec · 13/11/2025 14:47

Nope, but it isn’t your either. It’s no one fault. It’s just life and I think young children can often be more aware in subtle changes in those they love.

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