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Realistic car seat advice 3.5

10 replies

Tree6543 · 04/11/2025 19:54

DD is 3.5yo. Height is 103cm, weight 17.3kg.

In my car and partners they are in a Britax Maxway plus so plenty of room left rear facing.

In my parents (very occasionally used) they have been using a Maxi Cosi pearl which she has very nearly maxed out (will keep her in until the limit of 105/18kg)

I know the safest option would be to buy another erf seat for this car, but realistically are people really buying an erf in this situation? I asked in a facebook group and obviously was told it has to be but I’m actually the only person I know still rear facing so I think we’re doing pretty well in our two main cars!

I understand the general thinking is now never to forward face in a harness, so should I be looking at belted hbb? Or can you forward face in a harness really such as a Joie bold R? Or would you buy another erf and in that case it would need to be easy to install / swap etc as my parents are only used to isofix. Any realistic advice welcome!

I know the safest would be rear face, just wondering what the next best option is (if any).

Thank you

OP posts:
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Sillysoggyspaniel · 04/11/2025 19:58

Well, the best option is to rear face. Given that she's too young to sit reliably with just a seat belt you'd have to forward face with a harness which you already know is not ideal. I'd get another maxway as they are pretty reasonably priced and it will last her ages.

Hercisback1 · 04/11/2025 20:00

Honestly, I'd get a HBB and risk it for minimal, short and low speed journeys. You'll get people saying you're the worst mum ever etc, but a bit of pragmatism is required. There are HBB with the tummy cushion bit.

nellly · 04/11/2025 20:10

We had the same dilemma at 3.5 and moved to froward facing with a belt. I think it depends on the kid. Ours has never been one for dicking about in the car so just sits there and belt hasn’t been an issue. with our eldest two they faced forward much earlier (around 2) as it was years ago and I wasn’t aware of extended rear facing

Tree6543 · 04/11/2025 20:11

Thanks @Hercisback1, it looks as though that one you stop using the extra bit at 105 but I will look into more options like that so thank you!

And realistically @Sillysoggyspaniel i know you’re right, it’s just they tend to be harder to put in too and my parents just pop the current one into the isofix when they need it and can’t leave it in the car. I also think they may have discontinued the Maxway but I could be wrong. What age is a seatbelt generally considered possible?

OP posts:
skkyelark · 04/11/2025 20:11

Can you buy a spare set of tethers and swap one of your existing erfs into their car when needed? If the tethers are already installed, the swap is pretty speedy.

At 3.5, I'd be reluctant to use a HBB because however tall, she's still got the skeletal maturity of a 3.5 year old, and she's still likely to fall asleep, play with the belt, take her arm out, etc., because she's three. If you do go for a HBB, I'd look for one with the crotch strap to avoid 'submarining' under the belt in a crash.

There are a couple forward facing seats that harness past 18kg and 105cm -generally they have a top tether, which reduces some of the concerns around forward facing harnessed. I'm not sure they'll be much cheaper than another Maxway, though, unless you can find an old-style Joie Bold. Argos had some left not that long ago.

BertieBotts · 04/11/2025 23:58

There's no evidence to support the idea that FF in a 5 point harness is somehow dangerous, unless you're talking about tiny babies. Yes rear facing is safer, but it's not the only safe option. Most of the "never ever FF in a harness" stuff came from a car seat company trying to market impact shields, apparently, and it's never really gone away. It's certainly not something you should avoid out of fear, though it is perfectly valid to skip it as a stage if it's working for you.

At 3.5 it's better to be in a harness than in a HBB - it just is. This is really clear. Where it's less clear is for older children ie over 4, over 18kg - there, we don't have good evidence either way to say high back booster vs harness is better. Both have good results to protect children in car crashes.

At 103cm / 17.3kg, if you use the car infrequently, it is quite possible that she will get to age 4 before she reaches the limits of the seat you have in there currently. You could wait and see. I would also double check the orange label on the Pearl, depending on which exact one it is, some of them have an 18.5kg or possibly 19kg weight limit IIRC. This could buy you a couple more months, especially since children tend to grow in "spurts" and can hover at the same weight for ages at this age. Maxi Cosi are also built to a very high standard, so I would not worry at all about running right up to the limits, obviously don't exceed them significantly. It won't be the original Pearl as that seat was not rear facing. The 2Way Pearl was the first version which was.

In case you do want options for replacement seats:

There's only one impact shield seat on the market with the approval over 105cm and it's the Cybex Anoris T which is much more expensive than an ERF seat and only lasts until 115cm. All the R44 impact shield seats are discontinued, and were limited to 18kg anyway. Plus it's not a good idea to keep using an impact shield if the child is much too tall for it, it just puts a huge amount of strain on their abdomen.

The cheapest ERF seat is Britax Safeway M, when it goes on offer for £170, which it does fairly frequently. The idea about a spare set of tethers for your Max-Way might also work as a stopgap measure.

You also have Joie Every Stage R129 / Graco Slimfit R129 which might be suitable if she's physically getting snug in the Maxi Cosi and/or reaches the weight limit first - these are about £150, sometimes less, they are belt fitted and do rear facing up to 105cm/21kg, and then convert into a high back booster. The safety rating on them with ADAC is actually better than the Britax Evolvafix (which is one of the best rated FF harness/booster seats). Good option for a less-often used car. I would probably not exceed the 105cm height limit in the rear facing mode, because of the possibility of tipping the weight balance too much over the seatbelt fitting.

For forward facing seats, there are basically two kinds - you have the old "Group 1-2-3" type seats which have the 5 point harness in "Group 1" (up to 105cm under i-size) - the i-size versions of these seats are worth a look, especially Britax Evolvafix/Advansafix and Silver Cross Balance i-size (Essentials is also OK) because they have a 21/22kg weight limit and while you technically shouldn't exceed the 105cm height limit, as long as the child still physically fits, it's unlikely to cause any serious issues because of the way the seats are designed. The Britax one in particular has a block on how far you can extend the headrest anyway, so it can't be used too much over the height limit, but exceeding it by a centimetre or two is unlikely to cause any problems. The Britax seats also have a lap belt middle strap for the high back booster mode, which some people like. These seats are anywhere between £160-250 depending on sales, version etc.

Or you could look at an actual extended harness seat. It looks like Kiddies Kingdom have stock of the older Joie Bold R. There is also Cozy n Safe Hudson or Excalibur, those you can often find - the older, R44 version rather than R129/i-size, have a 25kg harness limit with no height limit. These are about £100-120.

There are two newer seats I know of which do extended harness under the new regulation - Cozy n Safe Excalibur i-size, which is harnessed up to 125cm but the weight limit might be about 21kg on this according to one random video I found about it, their manual is still not up on their website. Or Joie i-Irvana Max (must be "max" version) which is 125cm / 25kg on the harness and their manual is online which confirms. These seats are more expensive around £200. But the newer regulation is stricter, and they are easier to use.

The Joie i-Irvana Max would probably be what I'd pick if I needed an extended harness, FF seat.

If I did not need extended harness, I'd go for Britax Evolvafix (I have an Advansafix and am happy with it)

Joie/Graco R129 RF/booster seat would be my budget pick for RF.

Mmr224 · 05/11/2025 00:16

We've actually just bought the Joie I Irvana max recently after a similar discussion. We have a 4 year old and a 5 year old and were using 2 Joie Bold R, after moving from rear facing seats, but one was damaged and needed replacing.

We travel a lot by car, on bad, single track roads and motorways and one child is in hospital a lot, so we prefer the harness for now.

The Bold R we had needs to be fitted with top tether, bottom isofix points and seatbelt for harness mode between 18 and 25 kg, but the Irvana max doesn't need the seatbelt used as well, so that swung it, as easier for the grandparents to fit in their car. We have one of each seat now and unless you are moving them in and out of cars a lot, I can't see much practical differences. The children seem comfortable in both. They both turn into seatbelt hbb later so we thought they were a good compromise. We may eventually buy a hbb only seat for the children as the smaller one if likely to be in a car seat far longer for height/health reasons than the younger child.

They both rear faced to 4.5 and nearly 4, based on size in the seats we had at the time but we couldn't reasonably buy a erf seat as a replacement at this stage, particularly as grandparents help a lot and just physically can't manage it. The Irvana max is definitely easier if they needed to fit that the bold R.

Both children can get into their current seats and put the straps in place and click, ready for grandparents to tighten the front strap.

Tree6543 · 05/11/2025 07:23

@skkyelark the tethers would have worked really well, but sometimes it’s a “I’m stuck at work can you collect” type call so there wouldn’t be a seat to swap over - good idea though thank you!

@BertieBotts thank you so so much for such a detailed reply, I will digest it all later! Thank you also so for providing other options and thoughts about them. Although I really do agree with ERF and will continue to do so in our two cars, I do find the complete refusal to accept anyone would ever FF in any situation before 6-7 in some of the Facebook groups slightly off putting!

@Mmr224 that’s very useful information about ease of fitting etc, thank you very much

OP posts:
Jt88 · 20/03/2026 01:06

Hey! Could I ask what you decided to do in the end OP? I’m finding myself in the same situation and struggling to know what to do!!

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