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Original poster

MIL drove my kids with no car seats !

33 replies

Momloyalty · 05/02/2024 18:56

I went for an interview today with the agreement that MIL was to pick the kids up from school (4&6yrs) which was nice of her to do. I don't have her number so I texted the other half that I was finished and that could he txt his mum to ask if she's home so I can pick the kids up. He replied saying she will drop them off. Great! Appreciate it. Only until she arrives I say thanks for picking and dropping them off ect..... I asked her if she wanted me to take the car seats out of her car (they're our car seats) she replied "oh no they didn't have car seats today, he (OH) forgot to drop them off before work. Turns out she asked him in the morning about the car seats and he just told her to put the seat belt on. Not one of them bother to mention it to me. The fact she didn't go drive to his work to collect car seats is beyond me. All this has caused upset and both of them can't understand why I'm making a big deal? They allowed risk of danger to our children and he thought it was okay and to of not told me? What would you do in the situation?

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Onekidnoclue · 05/02/2024 19:04

Totally on your other half. You get to make calls about your child’s safety. I think it’s fine your MIL took her instruction from him. He’s as much the parent as you.
however what she did was not only unsafe but also illegal. She maybe an idiot and not appreciate that though so again on him.
tbh I’d have a massive shit fit. Not sure that would get you very far though as he’s disrespectful and she’s an idiot with poor judgment

PutMyFootIn · 05/02/2024 19:07

Your other half is a lazy dick. He should have gone back for those car seats. His mum should have insisted on it

Pacifybull · 05/02/2024 19:09

This is your OH’s fault entirely. He should have sorted it. No, your MIL should not have to drive to his workplace to pick them up.

Notamum12345577 · 05/02/2024 19:09

It’s your husband who is at fault. His mum asked him about them, he as the parent told her to just put the belt on. Not safe, but she was following the parents wishes

EastLifer · 05/02/2024 19:10

Yeah your husband is the one to get your wrath on this one but how did he get them there without seats? Is it walkable or could he not have got his out his car?

ZekeZeke · 05/02/2024 19:14

Your anger is misdirected.
This is ALL on your OH, this isn't your MIL fault.

Windydaysandwetnights · 05/02/2024 19:28

It isn't illegal though... Just irresponsible... And fucking lazy.

Windydaysandwetnights · 05/02/2024 19:30

See government website.....

PermanentTemporary · 05/02/2024 19:32

Yes it is illegal.

Before unleashing hell on your husband, get his version of events. And then scream like a banshee.

My FIL was all set to drive ds without a car seat once. But only once.

GammonAndEggs · 05/02/2024 19:33

It’s not illegal. Perfectly acceptable for a one-off journey.

Bugbabe1970 · 05/02/2024 19:45

This is on your OH not your MIL!

PermanentTemporary · 05/02/2024 20:03

Checked again and yes I was wrong. Not illegal. Apologies.

Still non-negotiable to me, but clearly not to your OH.

LightDrizzle · 05/02/2024 20:05

All on your OH. Lazy tosser.

saraclara · 05/02/2024 20:05

Why is your OP about your MIL?

A better title would be "my DH told my MIL not to bother with car seats"

SecondUsername4me · 05/02/2024 20:07

Your OH is the problem here. The MIL had been told by a parent that the dc didn't need the seats. She followed what the parent said. The parent is the idiot.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 05/02/2024 20:11

Yep, 100% DP issue.
Why do you not have MILs number?

dementedpixie · 05/02/2024 20:20

It actually is illegal as it wasn't an unexpected journey or an emergency.

SecondUsername4me · 05/02/2024 20:22

The fact she didn't go drive to his work to collect car seats is beyond me

This would still involve taking the dc in the car without carseats.

I'd be concerned that their own father doesn't take carseat safety seriously when he is out and about day to day with his children

Pearlyclouds · 05/02/2024 20:23

It's not your MIL you should be cross with its your DH
Your MIL just did what she was told

jhpf · 05/02/2024 20:24

Absolutely on your DH. He is the parent. He made the decision. End of.

If you have been cross with her you owe her an apology.

Kwam31 · 05/02/2024 20:24

This is your DH fault and only his.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/02/2024 20:25

I'd be livid with your DH.

I'd also give your MIL a heads up about the consequences she'd have faced from the police if she was stopped as she may not realise how severe they can be.

This is totally on your DH.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/02/2024 20:28

There was nothing necessary about the MIL dropping the children off as the OP was available to collect so it doesn't fit the exemptions for not needing car seats...

If the correct child car seat isn’t available, a child aged 3 or older can use an adult seat belt if the journey is all of the following:

  • unexpected
  • necessary
  • over a short distance

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat

dementedpixie · 05/02/2024 20:30

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/02/2024 20:28

There was nothing necessary about the MIL dropping the children off as the OP was available to collect so it doesn't fit the exemptions for not needing car seats...

If the correct child car seat isn’t available, a child aged 3 or older can use an adult seat belt if the journey is all of the following:

  • unexpected
  • necessary
  • over a short distance

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat

Edited

It wasnt unexpected as it was arranged in advance so it did not fit all of the criteria required

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/02/2024 20:32

dementedpixie · 05/02/2024 20:30

It wasnt unexpected as it was arranged in advance so it did not fit all of the criteria required

Show quote history

I was fixing my typo when you replied.

It wasn't necessary as the OP was available so doesn't fit - is what it was meant to say.