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Grandson wriggles out of his straps

13 replies

MaryJanesonabreak · 11/09/2023 11:51

Wise Mumsnetters please can you help with the tiny Houdini problem? My grandson is three and will not keep his straps on and pushes them down around his waist, which is better than no restraint at all, but not great in the event of an impact as I dread to think what it would do to his insides.
I need a brand of car seat with better shoulder straps that he can’t wriggle out of.

OP posts:
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midgemadgemodge · 11/09/2023 11:53

Are they fastened tight enough ?

spidermonkeys · 11/09/2023 11:54

midgemadgemodge · 11/09/2023 11:53

Are they fastened tight enough ?

This will always be the problem. If they are tight enough children shouldn't be able to get out.

Is DGC wearing big layers? Coat/hoody etc?

How old is he ?

cookielove · 11/09/2023 11:55

You could try the cybex Pallas, it doesn't use s 5 point harness at all.

Its got great ratings! And i almost bought it for my 3 year old.

Grandson wriggles out of his straps
Amwondering69 · 11/09/2023 11:56

If they are tight enough over the shoulder he shouldn't be able to wriggle free.
I find carseats so complicated to adjust so maybe ask Mum or Dad to have a fiddle if you have any problems .I genuinely find them tricky

MaryJanesonabreak · 11/09/2023 12:18

He’s three and as determined as a three year old can be. I’ve done them pretty tight , no coat, and he still wriggles them off.

OP posts:
MaryJanesonabreak · 11/09/2023 12:25

Thanks , will look into the Cybex ones

OP posts:
bagsofbats · 11/09/2023 12:33

I had one of these, no matter how tight I did the straps. I told them we couldn't go out in the car anymore because it wasn't safe.

A week of very slow walking everywhere in all weather, reminding them why we weren't in the car. Only going back in the car if they were sure they would sit in their seat properly stopping the car as soon as I could if they took their straps off. Getting ready to leave the car and walk home etc.

A bit like potty training it took a few (long, wet & inconvenient) weeks but we got there.

MaryJanesonabreak · 11/09/2023 12:53

I do that in my car, gradually roll to a stop if anyone is kicking off, undoing seat belts, abusing siblings etc. Granny can’t drive until order is restored. Works most of the time. But in mum’s car, with time restraints and stressed out mum, it’s carnage! Littlest one is an absolute monkey!

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BertieBotts · 12/09/2023 12:07

The most common cause of this is that the straps are set to the wrong height. It's a myth that they can't get out if they are tight enough, because children can indeed get out of a 5 point harness if they especially want to - all they need to do is suck in their tummy and it creates a gap that they can exploit to push their arms through. You should check tightness, but most common is actually the incorrect height.

Note that even if everything is 100% correct it is still possible for children to get out, but it is more difficult for them. Something that is not fitted correctly is possibly also more likely to make them want to escape as they may be uncomfortable - but simply being restrained is enough to vex many 3 year olds!

It is worth checking that he is not too tall or heavy for the harness that you have. This sometimes happens especially in the cheaper seats which are sold in Asda, Halfords, etc. If you have one of those then it might be worth looking at replacing it entirely. If you have one from a reputable brand like Britax, Maxi Cosi etc then simply check that it is at the right height for him. To find the right position, if the seat has a headrest + straps that are adjusted together, move it up until the headrest is just resting on his shoulders, if the straps are adjusted separately, then you should get him to sit in the seat and work out which slot his shoulders are closest to, and move the harness to these. If he is between two, go for the one above, if he is forward facing. If you have a Joie seat sometimes those are a little different but the above is correct for the majority of car seats out there.

If you do decide to replace then you have the choice of the impact shield type seats as someone above explained, or if you have one of the cheaper, budget seats then sometimes a more premium brand with a better designed 5 point harness can work fine. Again, double check his height and weight before you buy and then check any height/weight limits on the chosen seat as these are usually different for the harness mode vs seatbelt mode, and this is not always clear.

If you wanted to stick with the seat that you have, definitely check correct fitting of the harness but there are also products you can buy to add to the harness to make it less easy to escape - 5 point plus, which wraps around the side and blocks the gaps, or Besafe belt collector which just holds the belts together in the centre and again makes it tricky to escape. You can also use both together, if absolutely necessary. It's not ideal to add a third party product but these two are the least likely to interfere with the workings of the seat and are definitely safer than an unrestrained child.

The straps just being around the waist is actually not really much better than no restraint at all - because this will put a lot of strain on the internal organs as you state, it also allows far too much forward movement risking head injuries from the seat in front, it is really very dangerous. I will share a crash test video but be warned it is not very nice. (The long strap in front of the child is just a measurement device and is not part of the seat). This is a simulated crash at 30mph. The car seat is installed correctly apart from the dummy not having its arms in the harness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8bvTTtqBrI

BertieBotts · 12/09/2023 12:11

Forgot to add - at the age of 3, he may have enough language understanding to use behavioural methods such as a reward chart for sitting properly in the car, being allowed a special toy to play with in the car only if he's good with his straps, or a big talk about how it is dangerous/seat belts are important - whatever approach that mum would generally use for a behaviour that she wants to encourage/discourage.

traveller11 · 12/09/2023 12:15

Something like the axkid with the headrest that automatically adjusts will likely help as it'll bring the straps to the correct position each time to the shoulders.

Longlive · 12/09/2023 12:23

As a childminder I bought the Cybex Pallas for this exact reason. I had four of them. They have the added bonus of being easy to use as high backed booster as well.

I loved that the little monkeys also couldn't pull their shoes and socks off in the car as well with them.

glassorangerie · 12/09/2023 12:52

This won't be popular, and it seems ridiculous to even have to spell it out, but SEN aside, have you properly told him off? As in seriously told off, loud shouting angry telling off, not just told him to keep it on in a slightly raised tone?
I 'm only saying this because sometimes parents insist their child won't stop doing something, but what they mean is they won't stop when asked nicely, and they'd rather the behaviour continues than frighten their child.
In this instance I 'd prefer an upset child.

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