When to stop extended rear facing?

[Zippyzulu]

Ds is 4 and still rear facing in her car seat. She weighs just over 21 kilos and is really tall but still fits in the seat.
The problem we have is that she is begging not to use it, complains that it's not comfy and wants to face forwards like her friends. So far we just laugh and cajole her into it and she's ok once strapped in etc.
She starts school soon and keeps talking about being a 'big girl' who needs a seat like ds (who is 9!). She also says it is too hot as the air con doesn't reach her as she faces the wrong way
When do most ERF users change to forward facing? And any ideas on how to make her happier in the seat?!

I turned dd1 forward at 2yo to avoid tantrums, DD2 was newborn and I just couldn't face a battle every time. She was already in a Kiddy guardian pro ff in DH's car because erf would not fit.

DD2 is 2y2m and I think we are getting to the same stage, she braces her feet to try and stop me rotating the seat!

We have the Cybex Sirona though, your DD would have grown out of that a long time ago, Dd1 is pretty small but she grew out of it lengthways before she turned 4.

This is our second erf seat as she outgrew the first before she turned three as she was already 18 kilos so I had hoped she could use this one for some time to come! The complaining is starting to really bug me...

Turn her before she starts school. I'm very pro rear racing but I will turn my son before he starts school for self esteem reasons (although he'll be almost 5).

We just turned DD1 round at 3.4. Also cybex sirona. We had intended to keep her rf until 4 but tbh we were struggling to hear her chatting away and we have a long journey soon where the extra leg room will be more comfortable for her. I feel bad as I'd hope to rf her longer but there we go. The vast majority of people I know ff-ed their kids at 12 months (before new laws) so we've done way better than that at least!

We turned out 4yo in January when he turned four. He really hated it! He was so crammed in by this point it seemed the right time.

Seat allegedly goes up to 6yo but he'd have his knees by his ears by then if kept in it!

I've been umming and ahhing about this too - my son will be 4 in Sept and is average height and weight, so will be outgrowing his current ERF (to 18kg) seat around then. After much debating I've just bought the Britax TWE - in the end I figured I couldn't really put a price on the peace of mind and reasoned that given that ERF seats were available to 6yrs-ish, I'd stick with it and suck up the £185. My son's asked once or twice when he'll be ff, but he's pretty content ERF (I think he likes facing the same way as his little brother) and is fairly biddable generally, so I think we should be OK with the TWE.

FWIW, with the greatest of respect to Toomuchocolate, I'm unconvinced about self-esteem reasons for turning but my son won't start school til 2018 so maybe I'll feel differently then!

Out of interest, Barbara, what seat was that?

I fee really bad but I have tried all seats, I have an mini SUV style car and my DS who is 4, and is 1.10 meters tall just isn't comfortable in any car seat any more.

He is currently in (fit for his age and weight) a forward facing high booster seat.

This is about doable, he has a few sensory issues, from his shoes being too tight, not eating "wet" food etc etc, and we have just have had to take the plunge.

All seats have basic security certificates, some promise safer, but currently finding that at least he is legally allowed to be in his seat a sanctuary of comfort, if that helps x

Current guidelines state a minimum of 4 years of age and ideally till at least 6.

Not in the UK they don't, Dipsy.

Britax Max Way. And a tall child!

Well it always takes legislation a while to catch up with practicality. Studies have shown benefits of rear facing seat across all of these age ranges, so it is really just common sense.

Bah. I hope the TWE gives us a bit more room! Mine's skinny but not actually super tall though.

Well I totally agree, Dipsy, but common sense is very much not the same as official guidelines, sadly. I suspect it will be some years before that's the case in the U.K.

Mine both stopped around 8. They are very light and so fitted the seat until then.

Both of mine were in Britax TWE, we turned them at 4 on their birthdays!
They were then both fully harnessed in the TWE forward facing until about 7.
They are now 7 and 12 years and both in high back booster seats (DD is tiny and very light..26kgs).

We went from extended rear facing to extended harnessing to extended booster seats!

Alas @Laquila I fear you may be right.

She's a heavy 4 year old, I would let her face forward.

Thanks- quite a range of opinions!
She is quite sturdy but all in proportion . She does fit the seat ok (TWE) but would be much happier facing forwards. She's only just turned four last week so is a young school starter and I'm conscious of not babying her too much as I suspect the transition might be difficult for her...
From a selfish point of view it would be easier if she was forward facing as the other two dc would fit on easier!

Interestingly, I've been told recently that a good high-back booster seat for (almost average-sized and upwards) kids is regarded as safer than harnessing in a ff seat. (It's was Hakan the Swedish seat guy who told me that.)

This seems to be backed up by the fact that Britax have just changed the guidance on TWEs to say that they should be used with the harness ff to 18kgs (but still ok to harnes rear-facing to 25kgs).

My daughter is 5 and just coming to the end of her first year of school. She is very petite, only weighs 15kgs and has TONS of growing room in the various ERF seats that we have (Two Way Elite, Multi Tech II and a Joie Stages).

It would never occur to me to have turned her forward just because she was starting school. She's never asked to face forward, and her friends who have seen her seat and asked why it faces that way have been perfectly satisfied when I have told them it's because it's safer.

She's going to be rear facing for as long as she will fit in the seats. Obviously I'll have to stop using the Stages once she hits 18kgs, but she'll be rear facing in the Britax seats until she's at least 7 and probably beyond.

Laquila Britax said that this change in the TWE is just because they have had to change to a different buckle supplier: incarsafetycentre.co.uk/news/official-statement-britax-regarding-2-way-elite/

Advice from the In Car Safety Centre is that if you have an old TWE with a grey buckle you don't need to do anything differently: incarsafetycentre.co.uk/product/2-way-elite-cosmos-black/

So I don't think this change from Britax should be interpreted as evidence supporting a move to a hbb, though I'd be interested in reading more about that idea.

My very tall DD is still rear facing in a TWE at nearly 4 and we are considering the same question as the OP -- we were quite stressed out trying to work out what was going in with it before we found this information.

This is all very interesting!
I hadn't actually realised that the TWE could be used forward facing, I had assumed I would have to buy a highback booster for her.
Still undecided so will keep erf for the time being. We had no complaints whatsoever this morning so maybe she is admitting defeat

Zippy I understand that the TWE can be used as an HBB but I think someone told me that it needs an extra bit of kit, and that it's not that user-friendly as an HBB, IYKWIM.

Thanks laquila. It's all so confusing . I have gone through so many car seats!