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Car seats

Confused about car seat regulations? Find baby car seat advice here. For Mumsnetter-approved essentials, sign up for Mumsnet Swears By emails here.

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Original poster

Do you have extended RF seats? Do you get funny comments from friends/family?

42 replies

SkyNewsAddict · 19/05/2011 21:23

Just what the title says really. I have 2DD both in extended RF seats and it seems to be something that others take exception to.

I've had all sorts of comments from the clueless 'you know they are meant to be FF at 9 months' type of comment to the 'your poor DC must be so uncomfortable in the car, does it stop you making long trips?' type comment.

Does anyone else get these comments and what do you say in reply? They always leave me a bit dumbfounded tbh.

Today someone after toddler group told me that I ought to get to Halfords because at 2.3yrs "it isn't safe to be RFing anymore, she needs a toddler seat you know".

OP posts:

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thisisyesterday · 19/05/2011 21:28

nope. I have had people comment and say "ohh, why are they the wrong way round", but they've always been polite and listened to my (long) explanations!

and i've had several people come and ask me about them too, as they're interested in finding out more about them

Original poster

SkyNewsAddict · 19/05/2011 21:35

I've never known anyone else in my area with an RF seat, so I wonder if its just too out there for where I live. Or, more likely, maybe its just me? I do have a habit for attracting loonytunes!

Its just that I'm never sure what to say. The few times I've explained about the benefits of RF Vs. FF they've become defensive as if I have judged them for not having RF seats, though I tried very hard to not sound like that at all.

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brachy · 19/05/2011 21:37

My HV told me that DS could go into a FF seat when he was 9 months old as he was getting near to 18lbs (he was 16lbs at the time). I then gave her a long lecture on the benefits of rear facing.

Most people at DD's school thinnk of me as 'anal about car seats'...sigh! I dont comment on their choices of car seats (several have put their 5 months old FF) though sometimes I wish I could. DD was in a 5 point harness until 2 months after she turned 6...her friends would say "mummy says why are you still in a baby seat". She is now in a high backed booster whereas her friends are on booster cushions.

DS is 20 months now and rear facing, I've had a few arguments with various people on FB over photos of my kids in their carseats, one being how cruel it was! Er, DS has no idea about FF and he also has no choice!

On a positive note, I have now converted (in an informative way) 7 people to extended rear facing and that makes me feel good when I see their kids in their rear facing car seats.

pirateparty · 19/05/2011 21:44

Oh yes, especially from grandparents who think we're being cruel in some way and squashing his legs etc. Drives me mad. They have to comment on it everytime, esp in their car where he is forward facing and they are therefore convinced he is happier.

Oh gets me cross just thinking about it!

Original poster

SkyNewsAddict · 19/05/2011 22:02

Brachy I'd hate my DD to get comments about being in a baby seat when they are older, I don't want them to feel like odd ones out

So glad its not just me though. My family think I'm totally anal about it and a close friend has told me I'm totally anal about it, but then her newborn is in a 3rd hand, 8 years old infant carrier so I guess in comparison I am anal. Its odd though, because she chose her car because it had such a good NCAP rating but then uses an old seat of uncertain history (bought 2nd hand by a friend who passed it on to her, so no idea who had it first).

I try very hard to not comment though, because I know it would only come out as judgy so have never said a word, though she comments lots on our seats.

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aswellasyou · 19/05/2011 22:11

I'm a future convert (DD is 8months and 8kg but nowhere near ready to move onto the next stage in car seats) to forward facing seats. I'll probably get comments but I do about a lot of my parenting choices so I don't care.
I would say that having looked at crash tests, the difference in safety is very clear and so I decided to buy a rf seat. People might even have a look themselves and think about it for their own child. I don't know why people would think the child is squashed if they look at the leg room they have.

Original poster

SkyNewsAddict · 19/05/2011 22:26

aswell No my DD clearly fit in their seats but I don't think people really look IYSWIM, they just see a RF seat and assume its a baby seat and that at 2yrs they should be in a bigger seat!

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TruthSweet · 20/05/2011 10:15

Had two policemen nearly gave themselves whiplash in a car park craning their necks to see our three rfing that was funny but no comments really from other people apart from the usual 'where do their legs go?' 'Snap them off and put them in the boot' @@@ .

DH probably gets more than I would as he drives and I don't so he had to drive around three empty rfing seats every work day for about a year!

I had many comments though about DD being harnessed at 4 and now her using a HBB at 5 than rfing though. I think people just didn't believe their eyes. Mind you I expect we will get comments over DD2 as she is as tall as some of DD1's classmates and DD2 is 3.6y/o!

Katiebeau · 20/05/2011 10:18

I would loved my DD to be in a RF seat beyond 12 months but I couldn't get hold of one at all....... where do you get them from?

TruthSweet · 20/05/2011 10:27

Try here for a list of retailers that stock ext.rfing seats.

How old/height/weight is your DD now?

Katiebeau · 20/05/2011 11:44

DD is 26 months, 25lbs/84 or 85 cms. She should still be rear facing for a couple of years at least in my opinion.

Katiebeau · 20/05/2011 11:44

Thanks for the links. All the ones we found were out of stock for months, too late as we kept DD in her "baby seat" as long as possible!

HarrietJones · 20/05/2011 12:46

I'm looking for seats at the moment and hoping for RF but will need two & one needs to come in & out easily. All getting complicated!
People already think I'm a bit 'alternative' locally as dd3 is still bf (7m) , we BLW and often co sleep. I read on here that I'm nowhere near extreme!

Original poster

SkyNewsAddict · 20/05/2011 14:45

So glad to know its not just me!

Love the 'snap them off an put them in the boot', I'm going to use that one!

OP posts:

cat64 · 20/05/2011 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2011 16:26

some pics on my profile of mine in their RF seats

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2011 16:28

and there are some more here

and here

cat64 · 21/05/2011 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

saoirse86 · 21/05/2011 21:00

I had bought a FF seat in preparation for when DD's a bit older. She's currently 8 months and 9.5kg. Now I'm seriously confused as to what to do. I think I should be buying an extended RF. Weirdly they actually look like they'd fit better in my car too. I have a big car but short seat belts which would fit better round these RF's. It looks from those links like most of them only have the belt going round the foot end of the child's seat.

And I quite like the idea of people talking about me and my crazy seat. I'm sure the IL's would have plenty to say!

thisisyesterday · 21/05/2011 21:07

"And I quite like the idea of people talking about me and my crazy seat."

you sound SO like me

yes yes take your FF one back and buy an ERF one! go onnnnnnnnn do it do it do it

Original poster

SkyNewsAddict · 21/05/2011 21:13

It would def give your ILs plenty to talk about, for years and years and years.

Think mine will pop when they realise that when DD1 turns 3 she will still be in the RF seat...

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missmakesstuff · 21/05/2011 21:20

We are going to try the Essex car safety centre, probably over half term, to look at rf seats for dd - I don't know anyone with one, but I drive dd to work with me everyday, 30mins on motorway, and I just know it's safer. Luckily she is wee, so is still in her infant seat at 13 months, hopefully for another month or two. The childminder looked at me strangely when I told her thats what we were getting, she will be in her front facing when with her, but it's only short trips at 30mph or less when with her, around town, whereas we do a lot of driving and it my peace of mind. Still unsure about how they 'work', and sure we will get comments, I have never seen any RF seats around here.

aswellasyou · 21/05/2011 22:20

Do I get any brownie points for possibly converting Saoirse to the world of rear facing even if it is just to annoy the inlaws? She's my sister. I was telling her all about this thread earlier.

TribbleWithoutACause · 22/05/2011 09:48

hj the in laws think I'm a lentil weaving hippie tree hugger, I think rf car seats may just tip them over the edge .

saoirse86 · 22/05/2011 10:07

I've never noticed them either but I don't notice much TBH!

I had a argument conversation with DP this morning about these ERF's and that I thought we should have one of these rather than the FF one. He started with "oh, we don't need another car seat" (I'd had to buy a new RF stage 0 one as she'd outgrown the old one and it was rubbish) so I gave him the "yes, but we also don't need a dead child!" Job done.

I'm actually quite excited about the idea of breaking the news to the IL's. They hated the fact I tried to BF and even mentioned once (after I'd completely failed, gone a bit mental and resorted to FF, and felt completely guilty about it all) that I had done the best thing because BF is selfish. I'm sure they think aswell is selfish too because her DD's BF at 8 whole months! And they think wearing a sling is selfish too because no one else gets to have her.

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