Please help me keep Ds Rear Facing.

[lifeas3plus1]

Last week my mom came down for a visit and took Ds (16months) and me out for the day.

I had to put Ds's TWE in mom's car but had forgotton to take the tether straps out of our car meaning I had to install the seat in forward facing mode.

He was in it ff for two 1 hour journeys and although I wasn't happy (It doesn't feel anywhere near as secure in ff made) he loved it.

Only problem now is he completely refuses to go in it in rear facing mode now it's back in our car and screams blue murder for the whole journey once I have managed to get him in and dp is starting to refuse to drive anywhere because of it.

I have tried toy's, mirrors, music, sitting in the back with him.

I really don't want to put him forward facing just yet so have you any idea's to make him happy in his seat again?

Aha, welcome to the terrible twos (lasted from 18 months until 3 years old in my experience).

He is asserting his personality, control and separateness from you.

I think it is highly unlikely that your DS is going to forget the experience of ff riding or be happy with rear facing. The question for you really is who is in control here.

It is a while ago since my two were that size, so I cannot advise you on the safety issues, but essentially you have to decide whether this is a fight that you have to win, for safety reasons, in which case he needs to know who is the grown up and who is in control; or if it is something which you can cede control of, because it is more about your anxiety than really a safety issue.

Sorry, not what you wanted to hear, and I will probably get flamed, but you seem to have covered the persuasive methods.

PS There are lovely bits about this developmental stage and also, they do grow up.

Really you've managed to keep him rear facing til 16 months? I don't think that's recommended TBH. Guidelines say they can be forward facing from 9 months, unless he's very small I'm not even sure it's safe to use it that way round advice here

What does the instruction manual for your seat say?

As far as dealing with the tantrum is concerned, this will be the first of many unless you show him he will never ever get his own way by tantruming. If you stick to your guns, terrible twos can be fairly short lived. If you give in to it, it can go on for years....

It could be that he is just fighting to go in a car seat full stop. Try not to worry about it. It is hard but just tell him where you are going and you are going in the car just to get there. It may be he doesn't want to go for a long journey. know magic answer sorry put a parent of four once said to me try and enjoy each stage for what it is as it is gone within six mouths. I know six mouths seam a long time but it only seams like yesterday that I brought dd2 home from the hospital she starts school tomorrow

create there are special rear facing seats that go up to 3+ yrs old

sorry, no advice to OP

create

My car seat is designed to keep the child rear facing until the age of at least 4yrs old as it has been proved that rear facing is 5times safer than forward facing.

I wouldn't dream of putting a 9month old forward facing.

Thanks for all other replies.

It's definitely the rear facing position he doesn't like anymore as he's fine going in the seat forward facing.

We have a scenic where the headrest can be removed. I was thinking of doing that meaning he'll be able to see out of the back window more but will it be safe with it off even though it's not needed?

You're right though, I do need to show him "Who's Boss" so to speak.

Fortunately he is absolutely fine in all area's of life so not sure about the terrible two's. I am preparing myself for them though

hi, i was going to say take the headrest off so he can see more. i have both headrests off in my car and ds prefers it to dps car where the seat back is higher and he can't see as much! i would stick with it and he will be fine in a couple of days hopefully! :) ds is 29 months and still sits rf in his kiss or twe.

create, the seats are designed to be used to 18kgs or 25kgs and are much safer than the ff seats. have a look here, www.rearfacing.co.uk

:)

lifeas3plus1, i would just stick with it!
just don't even make a big deal out of it.

put him in the car, ignore the tantrum
am sure he'll stop soon enough

lifeas3plus1 keep up the battle :) Just another random thought- and this will either make you chuckle at the thought, or you might hate it, but we've also got two dogs who sit behind my DS in the boot- who he chatters away to and chuckles at. Just a thought- if youdon't have a dog, do you have a friend with a lovely friendly and clean version that you could borrow for a couple of journeys to make him chuckle a bit :) :) At this point you'll think I'm stark raving mad!!! :) :)

Keep up the good work though:) - thinking again about dog training and linking it to this (I apologise, I think about all my DS's issues in dog terms first!!!)- the trick I've done with Puppies who have been tricky in the car, is just do lots of tiny journeys to places they absolutely love- such as literally 100yds to the park, or 50m to the swings, or whatever you can think of that you son loves.....and do this loads (till it drives you crazy!), but hopefully he'll start to associate the car seat with lovely exciting things :)

You'll probably think I'm totally crazy by now, but just wanted to pitch my support in for you :)

Carseatcrazy, love your post.

I remember my brother broke up with a GF after spending a weekend with her exuberant, poorly trained spaniels, and when I asked him why he said that if she could not get a dog to come when she called, how on Earth would she manage to bring up children?

Great news!

I readjusted the TWE so it was in a more upright position rather than reclined (I completely forgot it did that ). And took the headrest off the seat and Ds loved it. I gave him a couple books to read/play with but he put them down and was laughing hysterically at the tree's as we drove past.

So I can keep Ds Rear Facing like I wanted, Ds isn't screaming blue bloody murder and Dp isn't refusing to drive anywhere.

Thanks everyone.

well done

Create,

The guidelines are the bare minimum requirements for when you can turn a child FF
They really are crap, and following them is nnot recommended. You should RF a young child until 4 years old minimum. So while the law and these requirements seem good and solid. They are really only there to keep pa¨rents from turning their LOs at 6 months or less. Waiting to turn at 9 months is better, but nowhere good enough.

You´ll be hardpressed to find an expert in this field, who would recommend FFing from that age and weight.

Lena

Lifeas3plus1 - huge congrats :) well done :)

jaybird- you made me chuckle too!!! I keep telling my dog training pal she needs to do a book on training kids and dogs!!! the similarities are amazing :)!!! (now you're all going to be thinking that my DS fetches, sits and wags his bum- well I guess he does 2 out of the 3!!!)