Second excision of mole

[lunatunes]

So bloody anxious at the moment and have no one to talk to about it. I had a suspicious mole removed in April that turned out to be melanoma in situ on wider margins being taken which sent my anxiety through the roof. It was just by chance that I noticed that it has gone slightly darker and was the most normal looking, tiny mole other than this. At the time it was removed I told family members and they just didn’t get how stressful it was. In their eyes it was removed so all good (which it was and I’m grateful for) but it took me so long to get my head around that I had only recently started to put it to the back of my mind and stop worrying then here we are again.

Since my previous diagnosis I have been hyper vigilant but as I have hundreds of freckles/moles felt that I couldn’t keep a track of them and didn’t know what was new/old, which ones to worry about etc and felt like I was going to miss something so booked in for a private mole mapping last week.

Whilst waiting for this appointment, I noticed a mole on my leg that I had had for years but never really “looked at” properly and thought that it looked a tiny bit notched around the edge so booked in at my GP to get it looked at. At the appointment there was no one available who could look at it so they once again referred me down the 2 week pathway to speed things up. At the appointment, photos were taken with the dermacope and sent to be reviewed. Yesterday I received a message saying that they have booked me in for an excision next weekend and now I feel like I’m back at square one.

I honestly thought they would look at the photos and say it was fine and that I was being OTT but now I’m worrying all over again. I’m so fed up and feel sick to the stomach that they’ve now seen something else. On googling last night (I know 🙈) it said that some benign moles can vary in colour and be irregular so I’m really really hoping that with my history they are being over cautious but I feel that I’ve now got the sickening wait for results all over again. I’m scared to death that they’re going to find something.

Oh, no, you must be out of your mind with worry

With your history, I think 'over cautious' is a good thing (although not for your state of mind). It sounds as though you might have noticed the long-term mole because there'd been a minor change in it around the edges, so if this does point to anything, the consultant will want to nip it in the bud.

Try to find things that will distract you through the waiting period, binge-watch something, or read, or anything that will stop your mind going round in the same circles. Treat yourself to something nice, be really, really kind to yourself because you don't deserve this stress, especially second-time round.

Thank you for your reply. I agree and would rather them to be over cautious but yes not great for the worry. I think once my mole map report is done and we have a baseline to go off going forward, that I’ll feel a little less anxious. I’m noticing all sorts at the minute and have no idea what to get checked and what to keep an eye on.

Distraction is the plan for the next few days! It helps that my son is off from school as he keeps me busy. I gave myself a couple of days quiet to just get my head around it again but am now trying to plough through all the things I’ve been putting off.