It really is, isn’t it?
DH has been suffering with unidentified pain in his hip for a few months, and it’s got steadily worse over the course of the year. Three weeks ago, he had an MRI which identified cancer in the hip bone. Further tests have established that he has a cancerous mass between his lungs, so the bone cancer is secondary.
That’s what we know. We don’t know the course of treatment or life expectancy or what’s likely to happen in the future. It is terminal as much as I can glean but does that mean weeks, months, years? He is in a lot of pain and on strong medication to manage that pain. So he’s tired and generally quite low (understandable.)
Meanwhile we have a five year old and a child on the cusp of turning three who know ‘daddy is poorly’ but not much beyond that. They forget; they try to climb on him, they knock his crutches over, they are loud and ever present. He’s struggling with them; I’m struggling with split loyalties between managing them and him and also the toll of doing absolutely everything has really got to me. I’ve been signed off work for a couple of weeks which has helped but I’ll have to go back eventually.
I don’t know whether to suggest to DH he stays at his parents for a bit, if he’d be more comfortable there? It’s so hard knowing what to do. I hate weekends at the moment as I feel I need to have the children out and about for all of it, and it’s exhausting. I’m dreading the summer holiday. I hate making DHs pain and suffering about me but it has impacted me and the children’s; how could it not?
Desperate to know more. It really does feel like purgatory 