How much do I need to worry about DM?

[FeelingGray]

DM is 79. She’s been a smoker since she was 14. Long term cough on waking, which eases during the day. Heart condition, high blood pressure pills since 2020. She avoids doctors like the plague. She’s had worsening lower back pain over the last few weeks. Replaced her mattress about a month ago, no improvement. Bought a different mattress two days ago, still no improvement. In the last week she’s almost stopped eating and is struggling to finish a few mouthfuls. She’s lost a huge amount of weight in about two weeks. She’s in enormous pain and has finally agreed to go to the GP on Monday. She’s frightened. She keeps asking me if it’s going to get better. I need to be prepared for the worst, don’t I?

Im really sorry but it doesn’t sound good.

Oh that’s a tough situation. I’ll keep everything crossed for you both.

I dread this exact thing with my mum she’s been a smoker since 15, 65 now.

My MIL is 80. She’s on 50 fags a day. Barely eats, is in pain constantly but won’t see a GP so I feel your pain. However, she doesn’t seem particularly concerned about meeting her maker and lives each day as if it’s an extra day. Until you need to worry, don’t. She’s your Mum and evidently you must be close so completely normal to feel helpless but until you know what you’re dealing with stay positive and live for the moment x x

She’s not really functioning at all at the moment. She lives with us, thank goodness. She’s usually independent to the point of driving me mad but I’m doing everything - walking her dog, cooking her food, she can’t face cooking. She eats a couple of mouthfuls and gives up. She either lies on the bed or comes to sit with us. I walked in on her this evening stuck halfway getting up off her sofa, in too much pain to get all the way up. I’ve suspected for a while that she’s known something’s not right. I’m as prepared as I can be. Just very grateful she’s here with us and I can take care of her.

She’s also craving cold food, can’t cope with anything hot or warm. She’s been living on sandwiches and ice cream for the last few days.