Dad bowel cancer now Dh positive Fit test

[lifeisjustc11p]

Feel bad writing this but life is just crap! Dad 87 has suspected bowel cancer loosing weight, not eating appitite , refused surgery which was only option as "I'm 87 " and had a good life , whuch is true. Mum 84 just about holding it together surgeon and team 95% sure the large polyp is cancer and is obstructing the bowel. Im 200 miles away, brother whos 10 is in denial. Just had a bad few years supporting DH though sight loss, now has minimal vision, had to retire , huge family changes kids doing exams , and degrees all needed holding up. Final straw was yesterday, Dh had done routine fit test, its come back positive, I had to tell him yesterday. No sx feels well, we are due to go to spain for a much needed 1st holiday on 10th July. I dont think i can carry on doing this, I was worried about leaving Dad , now this. I have spent all day calming down husband who has massive health anxiety post site loss I know stats are in his favour but they were with his sight too. He was the 2% that time . I think i need just to vent, to people who understand life is just crap while inpit my big girl pants on and cope again

Oh what a lot to be carrying for everyone, sending you a big squeeze. As you say, the fit test is very likely to not be a problem. But that aside, the good news is that even in the worst case scenario of there being a cancer, it's doing its job by picking it up well before it gets to your dad's stage of weight loss etc. It would be early and treatable in all likelihood. But it's probably not even going to come to that.

What's the next step for DH? A colonoscopy? Can you get it done quickly (private even?) so you have the results and can go on that holiday and just breathe again?

As for eveyone else, it sounds so draining. Hang in there!

This is a horribly stressful time. I sm going through cancer (not bowel) and I was sat next to a gentleman who had bowel with 0 symptoms. He only found out because the fit test. He was on his last treatment with an amazing outcome. Its awful regardless... but have hope xx

He has a screening appointment on Thursday, which he needs to confrim today. Just given alexa the number for him. I've told him to tell them about the holiday,though working in the NHS I know thats unlikly to make a diffrence. Its been quick so far . He only sent the test last Tuesday. Cant even talk to my normal vent / support person, my Mum as she has too much on. Will maybe look at private as i bet the insurance wont cover Dh or cancellation as hes currently fine.

I've had bowel cancer, only discovered via a positive FIT, although I'm several decades younger than your Father. 9 out of 10 positive results aren't due to cancer. Evewn if it is, bowel cancer is generally slow growing, so if a positive FUT is the first sign of it it will have hopefully been caught in the early stages and mostly likely quite easily treated by surgery, as mine was.

The issue with your father will be that if there any growth, whether benign or cancerous, that grows big enough to completely obstruct the bowel then surgery is going to be the only solution, possibly having to be done as an emergency if he lets it go that far.

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

I can recommend Bowel Cancer uk website as an excellent source of information and support.

I’m sorry to hear all that you are going through.

I had a positive Fit test in 2022, consultant said that 1 in 10 are due to cancer. Mine was a tiny polyp, benign thankfully and removed during the colonoscopy. The colonoscopy was quickly arranged and aside from the gross drink to clear your bowel was very manageable. They told me during the procedure about the polyp and the remaining bowel looked clear. Hopefully once you have a date you can decide re the holiday. Mine was less than 2 weeks from positive fit test.

thank you all, picked myself up today just feeling very low last night, hopefully all will be ok, and a quick endoscopy will occur