Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some advice or shared experiences regarding health anxiety following a loved one’s diagnosis.
A couple of months ago, my mum was diagnosed with stage 3 renal cancer. She had a very complex surgery because the tumour had formed a thrombus that extended into the vena cava. It took months to get a diagnosis, which was already very stressful.
She lives in Mexico and I’m in the UK, and I also have a three-year-old, so it’s been a lot to manage. I spent three weeks with her during the surgery, and honestly, the whole experience was traumatic. I saw her on a ventilator and there were many moments when I thought we might lose her. She also developed multiple infections. On top of that, she was sharing rooms with other cancer patients, and I witnessed two people pass away. One of them was younger than me and had small children, which really affected me.
At the time, I thought I was coping reasonably well. I kept busy organising her care, bills, and nurses from a distance. I’m an only child, divorced parents. But over the past week or so, I’ve started feeling unwell myself—indigestion, lower abdominal pain, urge to pee—and I’ve lost 2-3kg over the past few months (which I initially put down to stress of caring for my mum and child). Now I can’t shake the fear that I might have cancer too.
I’m scared of becoming ill, not being able to support my mum, and not being there for my son. My GP isn’t overly concerned, my bloods and urine came back normal, but has agreed to arrange a scan.
Has anyone experienced health anxiety after a loved one’s cancer diagnosis? How did you cope with it?
I also feel guilty even writing this, because I don’t want to make this situation about me—but I’m struggling
thank you ❤️