Mummy has to isolate from toddler

[MatchoftheNight]

My wife and I have a little boy who's about to turn two. Mummy was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Following removal of tumor, she is soon to take a radioactive iodine capsule, for which she has to isolate from us for around a fortnight. Anyone else been in a similar situation with a toddler? What did you do for the isolation period? No grandparents or other family members to rely upon. He's only spent one night away from his mummy (after tumor removal) and he struggled with that!

Could she go and visit someone? I think it would be hard to isolate in the house because the child wouldn’t get it at all, but being away for a few weeks is not uncommon for various reasons (work/ funerals overseas/ caring for family / holiday)

I agree with @Leopardspota a 2yr old isn't going to understand this if she stays in the house and tries to avoid him. It would be better for her or other parent and child to go away for that duration.

Im sorry to hear about your wifes illness. It does sound as though either your wife or you and your son will have to move out of the family hone for 14 days. Or could your wife self isolate in the same house?

She needs to go and stay somewhere. I stayed in my room but we have an en suite so it was easy. Maybe an air b n b would be a good option

Hi
i had to do this a decade ago. But I was kept in hospital until my levels were down. Mainly because they said I had to have a seperate toilet.

Afterwards I think they said contact with my young children was ok but not prolonged.

Agree with pp if she isn’t in hospital then maybe stay separately if possible?

@MatchoftheNight try not to think too deeply about how much the child will miss their mam. I’ve had to be away from my children for different reasons and they’ve been with their dad. They were fine, kept on routine and pretty much just accepted what was going on. My husband goes away as well - he works overseas sometime, and my daughter does a little count down at bedtime - I’m going to see daddy in 5 sleeps!- but other than that doesn’t mention him. We don’t bother with video calls because that can actually confuse them, kids that little live on the here and now. In their own home with thier dad they will be totally fine! It will be hard on his mammy - but staying elsewhere or even in a hotel could hopefully be a nice distraction.

DH had tests which involved a radioactive dye when DD was a toddler, and he wasn't supposed to go near her for a couple of days. He thought we could explain and she would get it. She did not. With hindsight, it would have been much easier if he'd stayed somewhere else.

Yes to her going somewhere to stay. When I have PET scans I need to avoid the kids for the next day because of the radioactive dye, which is fine. I just hide in my room, but you can’t do that for 2 weeks.

It will be a wonderful opportunity for her to rest and recover, especially if she’s never had a proper night away (bless her, surgery doesn’t count). I went to Australia for 2 weeks for work when my eldest was 16 months. I’d only ever been away two nights before. It was absolutely fine! Dd and Dh had a lovely time together.

I’ve also had to be away from my (very clingy) toddler, and it was also fine. Because they don’t have much concept of time, ‘mummy is away for 2 weeks’ is no more difficult than ‘mummy isn’t here now’ for them.

My DD was (apparently) occasionally a bit sad and asked for me, but was basically her usual chirpy self, and thrilled when I got back. She’s 6 now and not affected by it at all!

I agree with all the PPs that avoiding her in the same house would be a lot worse.

If you want somewhere cheap to be away from her, could you and your son book a caravan holiday? As long as it's not Easter week then midweek breaks are really cheap.

Your haven or park dean places have a pool and toddler entertainment included. At least he'd have plenty to distract him.

Do you have any friends you could stay with for a day or two or who might take your son just for say the weekend?

These are exceptional circumstances and I'd have done in for my kids friends if they'd been facing this.

Or are there any of the charities that provide accommodation near hospitals that might be able to help? I agree it will be too upsetting for him to just stay away in the house..

Wishing your wife well..

I had to do this a couple of years ago, with a kid about the same age. Is she having treatment at the Marsden? I booked a nearby business hotel with washing machines in the room and stayed there and washed everything before I went home. It might not be the full 2 weeks - you get a piece of paper that gives you individualized dates based on how high your radioactivity levels are when you come out. You can take some actions to get your radioactivity levels down marginally more quickly like drink lots of water and have lots of showers. There is a thyroid cancer support group on Facebook that is full of good advice for people in this boat. Sadly the kids situation is not uncommon because it is usually diagnosed in women in their 30s, so there are lots of people to give advice. Good luck!

Thanks everyone. Really useful advice and comforting support. It does seem like we'll have to get out of the house for that time. We might travel around UK to visit friends and family, but the caravan holiday sounds great, too. Cheers for info on Facebook support group

I had this last year, but my son was older so could understand. I had RAI on 8th April (a low dose) and was in hospital 3 nights. This was the guidance they gave me for isolation - I showered 3 times a day in hospital as the timescales they give you are based on radiation levels taken when you leave. I put a stair gate on my bedroom door and my son and husband would sit on the landing and chat to me. I agree though that going away for a few days might be easier for your toddler.