Post mastectomy advice

[Fushia123]

3 weeks post mastectomy- single. Drains out and recovering. Thought I was doing well but this weekend I’ve had a real dip. Sore, uncomfortable and irritated with DH. Can’t drive and get out easily on my own. First op was in Oct, 2nd in Nov and finally this one.
I’m usually quite good fun, busy and positive. I’m grateful that the cancer has gone away- radiotherapy to come with meds.
Being irritated with DH doesn’t feel fair and I’m trying not to be.
Short daily walks help but don’t want to go anywhere ‘public’ as I feel so obviously lop sided. Too sore yet to wear bra/inserts.
Any advice from anyone who has gone through the same would be gratefully received.

I haven't been through it, but since no one else has yet replied, I just wanted to send you a big hug and some flowers. 🥹💐

My mum went through it. Single mastectomy with a latisimuss dorsi flap reconstruction, where they move a muscle from your back round to your front to create a breast mound, although she needed an implant, too.

She recovered well, but it did take time. Three weeks is nothing. This is major surgery and you are bound to have dips. Rest and take care of yourself. xxx

Give yourself a break! The time of year & weather probably isn’t helping. You sound like someone who copes well and has just got on with it during this awful time (like me!) so haven’t really given yourself time to be cross/sad/scared/grumpy. You’ll get there just be patient.

I have my single mastectomy this Thursday. My lumpectomy was in December. Radiotherapy and medication to follow. No reconstruction at this stage as I had an infection post lumpectomy. I haven’t slept all night.
do you know when you can start to wear inserts and how long after the operation the radiotherapy will start?

Alseb - I hope that my post hasn’t worried you too much? The waiting is the worst part and there is definitely a sense of welcome relief once it’s done.
My scar is healing well, but it’s tender and I’m leaving it a bit longer to wear a bra and inserts.
I learned recently that the hospital has a service to measure and fit inserts, bra and swimsuit fitting too - probably about another four weeks before that appt.
I have an initial appointment next week to assess me for radiotherapy and I expect that treatment will follow soon after that.
An infection post lumpectomy sounds awful and frightening - you’ve got through that and you will get through this.
I took each day 2 hours at a time before my op. Sorting and preparing things like getting bedding washed, buying a soft pair of PJ’s, walks where I talked to myself out loud about what was to come, and how relieved I was going to be. Tried to congratulate myself for each 2 hours, then started again. A couple of friends gifted me meals from ‘Cook’ which arrived and went in the freezer. I was so thankful for them after my op.
Sleeping this week won’t be easy but trying to keep busy in the day will help.
You are in the middle of a very difficult few days - you’ll think you can’t bear it or get through it. But you will. You will. In a few days the worst will be over and your recovery will begin.
xxxx

I’m ten years down the line, but I remember the stage you’re at like it was yesterday. If I could go back in time I would definitely be kinder to my then self, and cut myself a lot more slack! I think (particularly as women) we want to rush ourselves through any recovery and “get back to normal”. Remember it’s the mental recovery as well as the physical that’s hard. Talk to your dh and any other sources of support you have, tell them exactly how you feel, and what you are struggling with. I bottled it up too much. Take your time with bras, clothes, going out etc.. there’s no big rush. Perhaps arrange to see a friend or two at your house if you feel up to it. It’s very early days, baby steps. Sending healing vibes 💐

Hi I had my single mastectomy 30th December The tape was taken off last Thursday and I’ve been wearing a soft bra with a knitted knocker for about 2 weeks on and off. Scar looks ok. Bit achey but alright, can’t sleep on that side though! I have more chemo to come starting in a couple of weeks. Hope you feel a bit better soon 💐

Sorry. See there was an update!

Fushia123
thank you so much for the lovely response. Your post did not scare me, quite the reverse. I too am washing bedding, talking to myself on walks and getting soft pj’s!
As you say, the worst will soon be over and our recovery will begin.
Sending everyone healing wishes. It will soon be Spring and this will hopefully soon become a distant memory

Hi can I join? I’m having a double mastectomy next week. There will be drains . Have my comfy pyjamas and actually bought a maternity nightie that I need to wash. Surgeon mentionned a month to recover.? But that was for a single mastectomy It sounds like a month might be a bit ambitious? Best wishes to you all xx

strangeky I found my mastectomy the easiest part of the whole chapter.
I had a lumpectomy and lymph node excision first which was way worse.
as for drains, I was fortunate that I only had them for a few hours post op.

What I didn’t expect was the emotional wave that hit me a few weeks later, a mixture of relief but also a period of retrospection, when I looked back at the enormity of the previous months.
It’s not just the physical scars that you’re healing from.
My scar didn’t settle down for many months and was a source of frustration for me, despite being told it can easily take six months before it really settles.
I remember looking at my chest and thinking what an absolute shit show it looked like.
now a year on, it’s like night and day.
I don’t even notice it.
I chose not to go for reconstruction and cannot say I’m particularly bothered about being lopsided (I really am lopsided with my one remaining boob a 34EE).
I only occasional wear my prosthetic if I’m going out for a special occasion because I find it a little cumbersome to wear.

but my attitude is that if people want to stare (generally they don’t) I don’t care because I’m here and I’m alive and well.
I guess I consider it my battle scar.

Thank you.

I think a lot depends on the reconstruction option you choose. I had my double mastectomy in September and opted for an aesthetic flat closure. I didn’t have any drains and was able to walk to pick DS up from school (with DH, just incase) the day after my surgery without any pain. People said the pain might come later but it never did.

Wishing you all the best with your op and recovery x

I was like @Justcallmedaffodilhad a smx and opted to go flat and was on school duties the next day. Everyone said I was bonkers but all through treatment I’d tried to keep things as normal as possible for my DCs. In hindsight I probably should have let myself rest a bit more as people think your superhuman and sometimes your really not!

I also found that the time after the op was hard as that was the last part of my treatment and it was a bit like being sent home to just get on with things after months of sometimes multi weekly appointments.