Mam has cancer and don't know how to help.

[flamazing19]

First time posting. Been lurking a long time.

Mam was referred for lump in her neck beginning of October. After scan/biopsies was told it was cancer. Had to go in for day surgery to find the primary which was the base of tongue as they expected.
Was told it would likely be radiotherapy for 6 weeks. Now after mri scan they have said that they have seen an enlarged lymph node in mams groin. Went yesterday and consultant tried to do biopsy but was very large and alot of fluid. Has said he hopes they can get results from that but may come back inconclusive.

Oncologist has said that it would be very unlikely that cancer would have gone that far without anything being affected in between. So said it could be infection or worst case scenario another primary cancer.

My dad passed away 2 years ago so mam now lives on her own but only short car journey from me. They were together 57 years so it has been tough. She's just been starting to do little things like go to town on her own and starting to smile again. Now this has happened.

What can I expect from mam from a hospital point of view. Mam is 75 and has arthritis. I'm so scared.

I'm sorry for the shock and worry that you and your mam are going through.

Cancers and individual reactions to treatment are all different, so it's hard to say what you should expect.

In terms of supporting your mam, I would say be guided by her; let her make her own decisions as much as possible. Make sure you take time to look after yourself; it won't help her if you run yourself into the ground.

I'm not sure what you want people to say; nobody without access to your mam's medical records can tell you how far the cancer may have spread or what the outcome will be.

Edited to add: cancer treatments have advanced so much in recent years, things that were a death sentence a few years ago are treatable now.