TNBC with 1 & 2 YO

[Mamabear0202]

i have been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. I have a 13MO and a 2 YO. I have had to have an MRI, pet, biopsy’s, mammogram, ultrasound, so many tests. Im
35 YO. No history in the family. I look and feel absolutely fine, just have a lump. Sadly found a second, larger lump whilst waiting for all these tests and results.

My appt to find out wether I will live or die, wether it’s spread to my organs or wether it’s just breast and treatable is this week. I’m literally waiting to find out if I die or not. I have been so incredibly stressed I’ve had pains in my chest all week, not sleeping. I have babies. My MH is really struggling.

ive stayed away from MN / the internet as I’m terrified of reading anything until I get my results but I just feel I need somewhere to turn to, someone who understands.

im so young, I just want to live.

im also really worried about having enough money and being able to work, I cannot afford NOT to work. Someone from macmillion said I might be eligible for pip, but when I spoke to a second person from the benefit office they said I had to be struggling and had to have the symptoms for 3 months prior. Does anyone have any help
or advice on this?

sorry my post is all over the place, my thoughts reflect this really. I know there’s other posts regarding this but I just can’t bring myself to read anything; my anxiety is through the roof.

I don’t have practical advice or expertise but I see you posted this morning and haven’t had a response yet so wanted to let you know I see you and acknowledge how agonising this wait must be. You must be reeling. I suppose my one practical suggestion is if you aren’t already taking some kind of medication for the anxiety then please do ask for help on that front - something to help you get some sleep at least. You must be terrified. I’m wishing for the news to bring some hope with it. There are many ways for this to play out and while none of them is what you would ever choose, try to hold in your mind that the worst case scenario is only one of the scenarios. I hope you know what I mean, hard to find the words but I have had close indirect experience of cancer as many people have and I know how easy is it to spiral. I really wish you the best.

Oh op I am so sorry you are in this position of terrible anxiety.

financially - decent sick pay? Critical illness cover…?

Hello @Mamabear0202 . I’m so very sorry to read your post. I’ve had ovarian cancer, so I know a bit of what you’re going through. I know how difficult it is having tests and waiting for the results. I had an appointment with my GP, who prescribed something to help me sleep. She was very kind and supportive and it helped me through those early days. Once I got some answers and a plan going forward, everything felt more manageable.

The Macmillan helpline is available for support with emotional and practical issues, including advice on financial decisions.

Sending love and strength. 💐

My sister has also had this diagnoses. Look to join a trial and do lots of research on best hospitals in UK for treatment. Second opinions etc. I’m so sorry for you, I genuinely am. Xx

It’s such terrible news to receive. I had breast cancer two years ago and am now doing very well, better than before.
As awful as you feel now, it will get better as you get a plan and you can focus on getting through that.
Things will really suck for a while but chances are very high you’ll survive.
Get all the help offered and accept all offers. Bless you.

I was in the same boat as you this time last year. Diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. They found 2 lumps on the left breast. I had a 1 year old and a 5 year old at the time. Chemo is tough but you will get through it. Your kids will be a blessing to help you on the really hard days. I had a mastectomy in July and am doing well. Best of luck in your journey

Thank you for your post and sharing your experience. I have just started chemo this week. Do you mind sharing your experience ? I had it yesterday and generally feel ok. A little nauseous but managing to eat and run around as usual.

ive read and heard the more treatment you have, the more it wears you down. Was that your experience?

did you try the cold cap or not bother?
im so pleased your able to share such a positive experience, it genuinely gives me such hope. Well done to you.

The first 4/5 days after treatment were tough both physically and mentally for me but then you come round again. Just take it day by day and if you’re feeling bad take it hour by hour. I honestly didn’t feel too unwell sick wise. Take your anti sickness medicine religiously and be kind to yourself. Just put the head down and do it. You can and you will. I think it was into the second lot of chemo my hair just started
to fall out in clumps. My husband shaved off my hair with my two boys watching and we made it fun. I didn’t want to come home with a shaved head to them as I thought it would scare them. I didn’t do the cold cap. I wish you well and this time next year you will be giving someone the same advice and it will be a distant memory of
what it was like. Whatever you do don’t ask dr google. I scared the be Jesus out of myself a couple of times. It’s not going to help you one bit. I used to wake during the night with the fear of all the what ifs. I got a sleeping tablet from my gp and that helped. I’m not taking it now and sleeping well. If you feel frightened and sad it’s totally ok.
Tomorrow you will feel different and feel positive again it’s a flipping rollercoaster and it’s tough but you will get through it.

Ps any fine day get out breath the fresh air and enjoy your beautiful children.

I had BC at 35 .that was almost 24 years ago. It wasn’t the same type as yours but I was convinced I would have secondaries as by the time I had the op for what was originally supposedly a fibroadenoma ( but turned out to be cancer) I’d had the growing lump for about 10 months , as it turned out I didn’t. So try your very best not to imagine the worst, I know that’s really hard to do and I totally sympathize. Also I know its often said but treatments really really have massively improved especially in recent years. i’m not a dr but from what I understand the type of cancer is only one part of the diagnosis so try and stay calm until the specialist explains it all. I agree with a pp I would totally ask the GP for something to calm you during this horrible period of limbo. Sending you very very best wishes x