It’s never ending

[SparklyBrickViper]

I’m aware I am being selfish but just need to whinge.

My mother has womb cancer. Stage 3, radiotherapy, chemotherapy and then the “no visible signs of disease”.

Less than three months later, cancer visible again with traces in other areas. Currently going through another round of chemo. She’s been an absolute trooper and has just got on with everything.

She’s now developed very visible tremors. Oncologist suggested asking GP for beta blockers as it might help, GP has refused and referred to a neurologist. So we’re awaiting another scan.

The tremor is very bad and impacting her daily life, eating/drinking.

We’re coming up to our third Christmas on this rollercoaster and I’m so fed up. (I know not even close to how my mother must be feeling).

I don’t really know how I will cope if we get a diagnosis such as Parkinson’s. It’s just one more thing to try and manage and I’m already drowning. I’ve recently (4 months) changed jobs which has been horrific and I dread waking up and dragging myself into work every day. I have caring responsibilities for my grandmother who’s turned into Catherine Tate’s Nan and is a handful, other caring responsibilities and it just feels like there’s no end in sight.

Normally I’m pretty resilient but now everything is just shit. Personal life, professional life there is no let up.

Sending you a hug. It’s god awful and you aren’t being selfish. I’m heading towards the second year living with 2 treatable but incurable cancers. DP has Parkinson’s. Again incurable but treatable. Is it possible the tremor could be a side effects of treatment? PD is diagnosed fairly easily and a good neurologist will run a series of tests at the appointment.

Other potential symptoms include constipation, reduced movements, shuffling and a sort of blank facial expression.

Hopefully your DM doesn’t have PD. Even the most resilient of us, crumble, we are only human. Are there any other family members to help bear the brunt OP?

Thank you @Enigma54 .

I think the thought of it being PD is probably worse than if it is; as you say it’s treatable.

We’ve suggestions that it may be treatment related, could be because of magnesium deficiency, pain related etc. I think I’m just frustrated that the oncologist took the view let’s just get the tremor under control and go from there, but the GP won’t do that (rightly or wrongly, I’m not sure I even know where I stand). It’s just frustrating that you leave one appointment thinking there’s a plan and then that falls apart as soon as you walk into the next appointment.

At the moment she’s got very little quality of life and I think I’m more worried she’ll start to feel it’s not worth the “fight” any more. (And believe me I hate that analogy of fighting a disease).

Today’s just been a bad day, and it’s been absolutely miserable weather as well.

I hear you OP, it’s so frustrating.
The tremor could be attributed to a few things as you say. Is the poor quality of life linked to the tremor? Or just a cumulative effect of everything?

Tomorrow is a new day x

Op sending big hugs you have every right to feel fed up, sounds like a rollercoaster at the moment. X

Could it be side effects of chemo? I got terrible peripheral neuropathy from chemo

Mil has stage 4 cancer and her life is just a series of appointments. DH has to to take her to every one. She’s ill and tired from chemotherapy. I am struggling to see how “prolonging life” when it’s like this is preferable to going down a palliative route.

I sympathise. We are in Year 3 of terminal cancer for my mum.. This year has been one diagnosis or medical emergency after another. She's in hospital now which is a 4 hour round trip on top of running a business and home etc. I love her dearly, but what is the point ? They even did a double heart bypass on her earlier this year despite the fact she has stage 4 cancer. She's now oxygen dependent and unable to look after herself following the hospital admission. We can't book a holiday or make plans as it may need fto be cancelled at the last minute.

Thank you everyone.

it is a blydi roller coaster and just one appointment after another.

My father (also facing health issues) insists on doing the chemo runs, but I have to be there for other appointments as neither of them really take in the details.

This too shall pass I guess, but at the moment it’s such a slog, and the dark evenings are not helping my mood.

Hugs to all of you that need them.

I hear you. Try and carve out some time to be very kind to yourself.

🌸🌺🌷 for you OP.