Fed up

[Enigma54]

As the title says.
I want the bloody cancer gone, but it’s growing and growing. Chemo isn’t working. I’m tired, I miss my old life, I want to work again, I’m bitter and jealous of seemingly “ well “ people. I’m sick of scans, bloods, chemo, shit news, traveling to hospital, draining the NHS, navigating pain relief, being unable to plan anything and most of all, the fucking stupidly annoying “MacMillan “together will beat cancer ads” Urghh.. you reckon do you?

My kids need me. I’m doing my best but I’m crumbling.

You are totally valid in feeling like this, it is truly crap and utterly unfair, and I am bc so sick of cannulas and blood tests. Weighing my wee for god sake.
BUT I know in my brain that being positive will help, appreciating the small things and keeping every hope this too shall pass. Sending you huge hugs.

Thankyou. Just feeling so utterly defeated by this god damm shitty disease. Like why me?? I had primary BC, 16 years ago, MBC diagnosed 2 years ago and now this lump of s**t has taken up residence. WTAF! 2 cancers, it’s TOO much!

Indeed. There's nothing life affirming or humbling or otherwise good about having cancer or someone you love having it. It's just plain sh@t and injust and a total nuisance at every turn. Honestly all the nonsense people spout about new treatments coming out all the time and have you tried eating weevil legs really doesn't help

I was diagnosed with BC in April this year , the day I retired and sick of it all already so I can only imagine how you must feel after years of this . Wish I had wise words but send you hugs and 💐

@Enigma54
You’re more than entitled to feel fed up with what you’re going through. It’s grim!
Have you got someone you can talk to openly and frankly. We often feel we can’t burden family and friends with our worries, complaints and anger.

Totally feeling the frustration. I’ve had 8 weeks of being ‘free’ and now back in hospital for a second - not sure if it’s a spread not noticed of sheer crap luck, either way I’m lying in bed reacting cold toast etc! I know the doctors are making a plan but I just want to be ok for my family, just total crap and we are definitely allowed to say so!!

Thanks all. Off to chemo shortly. Oh the joys of having your bloody life turned upside down 😡

What can I say? My heart is with you .....