Utterly rampant health anxiety following family member's cancer diagnosis/rant sorry

[Nonoanddefintelyno]

I just feel very angry right now. I only found out back in late July that my dad has mesothelioma when it had first been diagnosed in January this year. I do have health anxiety so I can kind of understand why my parents were hesitant to tell me, but the consequence is that i now have constant, non stop paranoia about my health and in particular my own risk of getting cancer, especially breast, bowel, ovarian or bone cancer. I now dont trust people to be honest with me if anyone in the family found a breast lump or any kind of lump elsewhere on their body. I'm 26, i should be enjoying life, I should be going to festivals, meeting friends, having sex, getting a little paid job etc. Instead I sit at home fixating over every minute bodily sensation I experience, isolating myself and being absolutely convinced that I'm going to end up finding a huge lump in one of or both my breasts. I dropped out of uni six months into my three year course because I found the work load overwhelming, and if i view this through the lens of my health anxiety, I feel like logically it would have made sense for me to leave my course because

Are you in therapy?

You need help. Urgently. You don't need to live like this.

Not trusting people makes no sense - no one is obliged to share their private medical information with you about lumps and bumps for one thing.

i'm not sure how you can manage to make your dad having a serious cancer somehow all about you. This is not ok. You need to see your GP about managing your acute anxiety and decide on what course of anxiety management long term you are going to take. Is your dad ok? How is your mum coping?

Your dad is ill and your entite post is about how you now have health anxiety. Please get some help.

You’re 26. You don’t beed “a little paid job”. You should have an actual job!

If all you genuinely do is sit at home and worry about your health you need to see the Dr first thing tomorrow.

Seek help. You are existing in a strange way. You need a PROPER job, not a “little job”.

I’m sorry to read your dad is unwell. How is your mum coping? Do you have siblings ? I’m afraid cancer is real and becoming more common, but you simply can’t sit at home all day, waiting for to be diagnosed with something.

Op, I'm exactly this way sometimes.

I'm twice your age (44) but agree with others that it's not healthy (pun intended) being so fixated on your health. Yes, be concerned. But don't obsess over every bodily function, sensation, the way it works etc.

I had my time with this health anxiety when I was a teenager and became terrified of getting CJD. It was ridiculous but I think my personality means that I just overthink everything to the point of severe anxiety.

Years ago too, I had a true health crisis after a head injury and post concussion syndrome before being injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic prescribed for severe insomnia and anxiety. It gave me a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia and it's always made me realise how much I should have truly cherished my health when it was at its peak.

You're in rude health, young, fit, the world is your oyster. I think it's given you a wake up call seeing your dad unwell, but you need to carry on living your life the best you can.

Nobody can predict what they will go through health wise tomorrow. I certainly never anticipated my health problems.

Please be less anxious and get help. I totally understand why you are anxious but don't worry about things that haven't - or may never- happen.

You must get help to get better. Have you had any CBT or talking therapy?
Maybe start with reading Robert Prime’s book “ Google.Panic.Repeat”

Covid triggered bad health anxiety for me, I was constantly checking my body for symptoms like you are now. Any little cough from my DC would make me spiral. I had some CBT sessions which helped a bit, but I had to move jobs as a lot of my anxiety was about taking COVID to work and making others ill. I'm so sorry about your Dad, and also sorry you are suffering too. It's so exhausting when you are battling rational/irrational thoughts constantly

Visit your GP to ask for medication and a referral for therapy. In the meantime, use free CBT resources (YouTube, instagram, mental health charity websites), to start exploring health anxiety.
Frame a job, good diet, exercise and time outside as things that reduce stress… and lower cancer risk. These are the things you can control.

Arrested development. Get help, consider embarking on a career.

I know had extreme health anxiety to the point of panic attacks where passers by called an ambulance because they thought they were having a heart attack.

They have dealt with this by doing the following.

Reading everything they could on the subject of health anxiety and putting into practice all they learned from the books.

By getting busy - especially outdoors in nature and fresh air. Working on the garden, doing park run, hill walking, cycling everywhere instead of driving.

Getting amongst people and doing some good. Volunteering for a homeless charity, working in a community garden.

Looking after themselves. Stopping drinking alcohol and coffee, eating healthy regular meals, exercising, going to bed at a sensible time, resting.

They also did something ridiculously brave and effective. This is going to perhaps sound extreme, weird and harsh, but this was a turning point and so I'm just going to say it. They went and laid down in a grave yard. All quiet, amongst the graves one sunny afternoon. They had a real think about the worst possible outcome of ill health i.e. death. They asked themselves if being dead was really something to worry about if it meant you ended up lying in a sunny, quiet place on a nice summer's day.

It put it all into perspective and allowed them to enjoy their precious days rather than piss them all down the drain worrying about something that might never happen.

I hope your dad is ok.

OP… nobody has to tell you THEIR personal health issues. Expecting people to tell you that THEY found a lump is ridiculous. That’s not your information or your health that’s affected. Your anxiety is making you incredibly selfish - your father has cancer and you’re all ‘me,me,me, they broke my trust’.

You have no right to their health records and information and it’s about bloody time you realised that.

Youre 26 - generally that’s a bit past festivals and ‘a little paid job’ time. Youre an adult. A full fledged one. I understand that you are mentally unwell but it is time you took responsibility for that and seek serious interventions if possible. You can self refer for talking therapy and book in with the GP to seek additional help.

Of course your dad didn’t tell you - he was focusing on getting better. And now you’ve spiraled so he has that to worry about too.

I’ve realised that my tone may have been a little harsh when you’re feeling quite sensitive but really it’s just you need to spread your mind beyond your illness if possible.

Could you contact your GP and see if they have social prescribers? They could recommend group therapies or activities that may help in your community.

Perhaps try Anxiety UK - https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

Talking therapy - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/

Group therapy - https://www.talkingtherapies.nelft.nhs.uk/group-therapy-at-havering-/

@ForeverDelayedEpiphany know this is an old thread but I just had to comment because you are the only person I’ve found who obsessed about cjd. This was a major thing for me in the last 20 years. I would write down what meals ive eaten containing beef in my childhood, talk about it endlessly, write
down all sorts of statistics etc. I also used to check the cjd statistics page every month until they stopped it last year! I’m over it now at 47 but it consumed brain on and off for years! Health anxiety is horrific and people
who don’t have it just don’t understand.

sorry to hear about your head injury. Hope you are doing ok. You are definitely right that we should value our health whilst we have it x