Diagnosed yesterday, triple negative breast cancer

[viktoria]

I suppose I'm still in some kind of shock. I feel fine actually but at the same time I feel like the rug has been pulled from underneath me.

I feel very lucky because I have a break in work and that was the only reason why I bothered contacting my GP about a small lump. Had no other symptoms.
Had a mammogram and ultrasound and was surprised I was told they wanted to do a Biopsie as well.
And yesterday I received the diagnosis.

It's grade 3 but I don't yet know what stage. I'm off to have an MRI done in an hour.

As I said, I feel very lucky that I had it checked out when I did. I also have a supportive husband, and two supportive (young adult) children, 22 and 24,

But obviously I'm also worried. My life will totally change. Hopefully only for the next year. The consultant told me I'll likely have 6 months of chemo and then surgery, and I should expect for all the treatment to take 1 year.
I work freelance and am the main breadwinner so the money side does worry me.
But not as much as the prospect of chemo.
I was wondering if anybody else has had triple negative breast cancer and can share any experiences re chemo

Sorry, should also say, I had also a Biopsie on my lymph nodes and it hasn't spread there. So that's good news. But I suppose I only find out if it's spread somewhere else after the MRI. I'm not sure how long I will have to wait for those results

Hi OP
I had triple negative. I surgery then 7 lots of chemo and radiotherapy. It was tough but doable.

Good luck with your MRI, you are probably still in shock so take care and be gentle with yourself for a few days.

Sending love and hugs.

I was diagnosed with TNBC in January 2023 after a routine mammogram. Complete bolt from the blue. I had surgery x2, chemotherapy x 16 sessions and rounded off by radiotherapy. Second LemonDrizzle, tough but doable.

Chemotherapy knocks you about, I was v tired and had a load of side effects but was well enough to enjoy life too. The oncology unit I went to was brilliant.

One thing I found quite difficult was being repeatedly told that my treatment options were ‘limited’ because it was triple negative. I accepted and understood that, but, irrationally, everytime a HCP told ‘those options were off the table’ I felt hard done by. You may be more sensible than me.

It is a tough time, and many people find the period after treatment finishes challenging too. You may have people telling you how splendid the treatment now is, and that you will be absolutely fine. Treatment has come on, I sincerely hope you will be fine. But it’s a rubbish thing to go through, try to be kind to yourself, grind through and get to the other side.

Thank you so much for your kind messages.
@LemonDrizzle10 and @GrannyGoggles, sorry you had to go through it. I hope you are fine now.
@GrannyGoggles very interesting to read about your experience. At the moment I'm just thinking that my 6 months of chemo will just be horrendous and my life will be on hold. It's helpful to read that there hopefully will be some good moments in between.
Just sitting in the waiting room for the MRI and I was approached by a HCP who asked if I would agree to have extra "procedures" done for research - MREs, biopsies, extra blood donation. I'm all for research and don't mind doing small things like giving some blood (which I have always done anyway) ... but I feel somewhat upset. I feel I'm at a very vulnerable stage and have trouble processing what has happened and will happen to me in the next few months ... and I feel like I will spend a lot of time going back and forth to the hospital and I don't really want to come in for extra scans and (especially) biopsies

I had tnbc. If I can offer any support I'm happy to.

Also there are two good tnbc Facebook groups.

My Mum had TNBC when I was the same age as one of your DC and living at home.

The treatment was tough, possibly more so because she joined a trial and had an additional chemo drug compared to normal- she had lots of side effects and really struggled. But wanted to do the trial because she was keen for the extra monitoring and the trial they’d offered her was specifically aimed at preventing recurrence which was a big appeal. She found hypnotherapy and counselling, both provided by Macmillan to be really helpful at coping with all the being poked and prodded.

However the GP said “it will be a year from your life and then we can focus on getting you back on your feet” which sounded quite flippant but she really was right. Basically everything was a write off for a year but we booked a family holiday, at Mum’s request, for a year later and she had finished all her treatment and enjoyed it! It probably took her another year to feel completely fit and healthy again, her biggest side effect was fatigue and that took time to build back up from.

7 years later and her and DDad are living life and planning for retirement. DDad got her the dog she’d always wanted and in her year of treatment worked out that he can work a bit less and not take too much of a financial hit (self employed) so they can prioritise spending time together. They bought a motorhome and go away almost every other weekend.

She has a yearly check up and has been told the chances of recurrence after this long are “miniscule”. In the 7 years she has had one scare which lead to a scan but that was clear.

You are in the really horrible part- finding out all the information bit by bit and not having a proper plan yet. Sending you strength.

I was diagnosed with TNBC 12 years ago when DD, my 3rd DC, was 6 weeks old.
I had chemo, then surgery and radiotherapy. It was tough, but we got through it. Like you, it felt a bit negative that other than the traditional treatment there wasn’t much else they could do, but I’m sure treatment has progressed a bit.
Good luck!

I was diagnosed with tnbc grade 3 (I think triple neg is always grade 3?) stage 2b. It had spready to one lymph node. I had 4 months of chemo, lumpectomy and 2 lymph nodes removed and then a month of radio therapy. I was 9 months from beginning to end, would have been 8 months but I burst open my stitches by falling down the stairs and then got an infection so radiotherapy was delayed.

It is tough, but for me the chemo wasn't terrible. I, personally, couldn't have worked but I was already exhausted as I had a baby and I had good insurance cover so wasn't at all motivated to go back to work. I do know people that have worked through it, you honestly can't know until you see how you react.

Very best of luck - I'm now 5 1/2 years clear. As someone has mentioned, the fb page "triple negative breast cancer UK and Ireland" is excellent. Avoid google!

I have just come through tnbc. Had chemo , immunotherapy, mastectomy. All was actually far less traumatic than I anticipated. I'm awaiting reconstruction now.

The Macmillan cancer forums are also great lots of people post their experiences on specific cancers.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Its going to be a hard journey and the only words of wisdom I can say is you will need lots of rest and be kind to yourself.

We are going through it in my family at the moment. The person is 18 months down the line now and we are beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm awaiting Radio at the moment - have had chemo (two types) and a mastectomy without reconstruction. (for now) Treatment has really advanced in the past few years. Mine has completely gone after 9 months of the above treatment, which is impressive as the tumour was 10cm and spread to many lymph nodes. Chemo is tiring but for me, doable. I got pumped full of steroids due to allergies and felt hungry all the time. Hair fell out and I learned to like my bald head.
I'm still scared and don't quite trust the good outcome yet, but day by day I'm feeling better.

Have a good old cry, OP, but remember it can be beaten.

Also the Maggie's centres are great and full of compassionate, knowledgeable people you can talk to about work and benefits, or literally anything you need to know about cancer. They do support groups and exercise classes - and free tea/coffee/biscuits/fruit!

Thanks so much to every single reply.
So appreciated.
I feel much more positive.
I've started telling some people, mainly on a need to know basis. But also a couple of good friends who I had arranged to meet up with before I got the diagnosis.
Work have been great. I currently am doing a job share and only work Mondays and Tuesdays. My contract ends just before Christmas. I hope I can do my days until then as work has proven a great distraction and I genuinely love it. But if I don't feel up to it, my job share person said, just to tell her, even on the day, and she'll cover for me.
I feel quite focussed, and have a pre chemo to do list (dental check up, get my hair cut into a pixie cut, do my tax return - yes, I'm such a fun person!) so that's good. But I've also booked flights to see my mum (who sadly has dementia and who I won't tell). That's a bit of a hard one, because I don't know when I'll next be able to go and see her.
I'm also seeing friends, booking theatre tickets, got myself a new iPhone... so I'm good to myself.
The prospect of Chemo still scares me (and I have trouble sleeping through the night) but I think once it starts I'll feel more like things are moving on.
I have also booked a tour of a cancer charity place near King's Cross - and thanks for the tip on the macmillan cancer forum which I had a look at and which seems great.
Next step is getting my mri and scan results which will be next week.
Again, thanks everybody for the replies. I really appreciate it.

This is a bit of tangent but I watched this very interesting video about a Kiwi doctor using dietary interventions and fasting to improve the tolerability and effectiveness of chemotherapy and radiation.
Non of the patients in the trails had breast cancer, but it might interest you as he discusses the how and why the interventions might affect cancer/ cancer treatments.

Title: Dr Matthew Phillips // Mitochondria, Terrain, Cancer #PHC2025

Best wishes.

I listened to an excellent guided meditation when I was going through treatment, will try and link it here.

@VioletandDill so pleased that things are looking so well for you. You sound like a strong person.
All the very best for you!

I've booked a hair cut to go short, just to make it more manageable ... but am fully prepared (I think) for losing my hair pretty swiftly. But I thought I might as well try a pixie cut for the few weeks in between.

@Sajacas and @anchoviesanchovies thank you. Will check those links out!
My sleep has been getting better! Realised that checking what time it is when I wake up in the middle of the night is not good for me!

Chipping in to say hi!
I’m 34, diagnosed TNBC 1st Sept 2025.
GP told me it was a blocked milk duct since May (my daughter is 7mo now).

My tumour was 9cm at diagnosis. I’m 8 weeks into PC+Pembro.

Due to tumour size I’m stage 3 however no node involvement.

There’s some great cancer support threads ongoing at the moment if you feel up to joining us :)

It’s not been too bad! I’ve been able to carry on working and parenting two children (8yo and 7mo).

The best advice I can give is to drink plenty of water and stay well hydrated, rest when you need to rest and take all the post-chemo meds on time. Don’t wait until you have side effects, just take them as prescribed.

Don’t do any online shopping in the middle of the night when you’re wired on the Dexamethasone (I learned this one the hard way).

If you do get any horrible side effects, let your BCN and Onc know so they can adjust your meds, you don’t need to suffer them.

I was dreading chemo, I thought, like you, that I would be laid up in bed being sick and unable to function. My experience has been the opposite, I feel fine physically for the most part except some fatigue on days 4-5.

if you have any questions just let me know

@cannaecookrisotto thank you so much for your reassurances.
Apologies for not replying earlier.
I've been on a frantic "I need to get all these things done before I start chemo" rush.
Which thankfully came to a stop last week when I went to Italy for 3 days to see my mum (who has dementia, so it was just for me to see her because I won't be able to fly there for a few months. Obviously I didn't tell her about the diagnosis)
Getting away was the best thing as I realised that I will NEVER get everything done!

I had my first chemo on Wednesday. And I feel totally fine!
In fact, yesterday (obviously fuelled by the steroids I was given) I had lots of energy, walked 15000 steps, went to a couple further hospital appointments, climbed three flights of stairs rather than getting the lift. No nausea. Nothing.
This is not how I expected the day after chemo to be!

I know there will be hard days, but yesterday wasn't one of them. Which is wonderful.
One day at a time.
And I'm glad I'm now on the treatment journey.

I work freelance in a job share, so only two days a week and I can wfh. My contract finishes on the 19/12 and I hope I can see this contract through to the end. But my job sharer is great and said I can just tell her on the day if I don't feel up to it.

Thanks again for your replies. It really reassured me.

And obviously, I'm sorry that you're going through this with young children, which is a whole different ball game.
You mentioned support threads - yes, would love to join. Which one's would you recommend?