Family members cancer diagnosis is making me completely think that making any commitments or trying to do anything with my life is futile and pointless(no point starting anything in life if you could get thrown a cancer diagnsosis etc, HA etc.)

[Nonoanddefintelyno]

The cancer they have is mesothelioma caused by exposure to asbestos via inhaling talcum powder when they were younger. From what they've said, generally mesothelioma has a poor prognosis and most cases aren't diagnosed until the disease is late stage/

I’m sorry you are struggling, I know how hard it is.
DH died within 16 months of his cancer diagnosis last year. He was early 50’s.

There are times I feel paralysed, and I do wonder what the point is, BUT I have to remember that he would do anything to still be here, living life to the full.

Life is short at the best of times, even shorter for those unfortunate enough to have a terminal illness, it would be a total waste to do nothing with the life you have and just wait for it to end.

Please speak to the GP about how you are feeling, they will be able to signpost you to support, or they may offer some medication that would help you feel less despondent.

My health anxiety was already pronounced before this, and now i spend most of my day consumed by obsessing over every bodily sensation and obsessively convincing myself that I will get a terminal c diagnosis at the age of 26(particularly breast, bowel or skin cancer) . Because it seems extremely common now for otherwise previously healthy younger aged people to get taken down with a terminal cancer diagnosis. For example like with Deborah James who was diagnosed with, and passed away from stage 4 bowel cancer and Sarah Harding, who passed away in her early thirties from stage 4 breast cancer. This would seem to me that logically, there is no actual point in

It’s not extremely common.
Sarah Harding was 39 years old. There are 4.6 million people age between 35-39 years old in the U.K. so, statistically, the odds are very much in you favour. Please speak to your GP, if you are already on medication you may need an increased dose or an alternative medication.

I think you need some help. I’ve two cancers and am desperately trying to live my life as best I can. I am facing being dismissed at work, but I get up each day and try to LIVE. Anybody can get anything, that’s a fact of life. Obsessing over it, won’t help.

What was the original trigger for your health anxiety? When it continues over the longer term without naturally resolving, it's often more of a PTSD reaction than general anxiety.

It's not "extremely common" for younger people to die from cancer. There have been high profile cases like the ones you mention. There is an increased incidence but:

"these ‘early-onset’ cancers are still uncommon. Around 90% of all cancers affect people over the age of 50. In fact, 50% affect the over-75s, even though that’s quite a small part of the overall population."

https://news.cancerresearchuk.org/2023/01/24/early-onset-cancer-why-are-more-young-adults-being-diagnosed/

Some of your feelings are a natural response to the shock of the awful news you've had. My mum died from cancer when I was young and I struggle with some of those things, but I have PTSD and I have developed strategies to help me manage it.

One day all of us will die, so you just have to bring yourself back to the present moment when you have these intrusive thoughts about things being futile - will it be worthwhile to pursue activities that bring you joy or make your life better? Yes. However long you have life, it's worth doing things with the time you have.

Macmillan have a support line you could contact for some advice or support about what's going on now with your family member. https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/macmillan-support-line

Be kind to yourself if you can 💐

A lot of people go the opposite way. Live for the moment, seize the day, enjoy each privilege you have.

To be fair, it's more that those are the people who get the media airtime and profile. There are other more common reactions.

I think you need to see your Doctor. I don't think your reaction to the news, giving up on your life because someone else's life is limited, is healthy.

I've had cancer three times now, throughout I still lived and planned my life as though I was going to live forever (while still making the necessary arrangements everyone should make). I couldn't see a logical alternative.

We are all born to die, it's the natural cycle. We just don't know when or how our end will come. But We all know it will come. But it's really sad you are living your life restricted by this fact.

I really do urge you to see a doctor. It doesn't have to be like this.

I'm really sorry for your family member and also your anxiety. My lovely dad died from mesothelioma, it is an awful disease,and I too struggle with health anxiety following menopause, so I can completely relate to the panics you get from every little niggle or pain.

I manage to keep on top of my anxiety most of the time (HRT for me, due to her cause of it) but i still have days/weeks of panic if I've had symptoms of cancer which aren't shifting.

What works for me is remembering that, yes, cancer is very common, but mainly in people much older than yourself. I'm in my 50s and still at an age where dying from cancer would be uncommon. The names of people you have mentioned who have sadly died of the disease are known because it is very unusual to die in your 20s of cancer.

Please speak to your GP about your health anxiety. It can be crippling and many people do not appreciate how debilitating it is. And how real it feels, even if you are aware that is what is causing the worry. There are things your GP can do to help you.

You are very young and should be enjoying your life.

All the best to you and your family.

Reach out to your GP for some support and treatment. This is no way to live life. I have cancer and I can’t wait to get with my life. It’s made me incredibly grateful to have a second chance at life and I’m retraining for a new career, planning holidays, thinking about goals I want to accomplish, can’t wait for all the stuff I’ll get to do now that I’m probably not going to die imminently.

I’m really sorry about your loved one OP. I can understand your anxiety. It can be a tough journey being there for someone coming to the end of their life if the prognosis is poor. The loss can be immense and irreparable.
That said life can be and still is beautiful. We all know we aren’t getting out of it alive so the key is to find meaning in all you can. The fact it’s finite is all the more reason to throw yourself into making the absolute most of it. They say you only live once but if you do it right once is enough! So embrace it rather than let anxiety debilitate the time you do have. Four walls and overthinking can be the worst. Can put you down a rabbit hole. Everyone different but I’ve noticed those with others to care about often have less time to overanalyse every twinge so keep busy and get sensible check ups as/when needed.
The day before she passed my Mum when I broke down told me I needed to live my life and that dying is part of life. She was absolutely right. The greatest love of all is when we need to let go - if love alone could keep our dearest here they’d live forever. When it’s near the end and someone you love is suffering though you just want them to be pain free so guess acceptance is part of coming to terms with our mortality too.
In a way would we really want immortality? Same as would we really always want things to turn out way we hope? Life then too would be series of stale successes.
When we are happy, sad, angry - whatever the emotion it’s for moments. Key is to be content.
Live your life with days that are full rather than a life that’s full of days too. Every day I think of dying but not in a morbid way, more as a reminder to live meantime.