Shock breast cancer diagnosis today

[Mynewnameis]

Didn't take anyone with me, I'd expected different news.

Invasive lobular carcinoma (ILC) Grade 2
Next step is MRI.

Dreading telling people.

I'm sorry. You don't have to tell anyone everything. If you can tell one trusted person, they can tell others in your behalf. No decisions need to be made today, however. Take your time.

Thanks advent. My sister just text me. I said results delayed due to bank holiday.
Im.going out tonight and still want to go (in an hour). Taken day off sick tomorrow to tell my family. Have young kids to tell.

I’m so sorry, I hope people will be supportive and kind.

Please reconsider telling your children yet, as you are still in shock. The best advice we got was to let it sink in and when telling children (ours were teens) to know that how you were when you told them was the way they would react - if that makes sense. We waited almost a month to tell ours, when that rawness and initial shock had dulled down.

Im wishing you the very best with your treatment. You are strong and will get through it xx

Best wishes to you.

What a shock, it's truly awful, isn't it? I'd echo the PP who said wait to tell your children. I waited until I had all the information about what was happening and when with regard to treatment as otherwise I felt like I was dropping a bomb with nothing to defuse it with.

My diagnosis was a shock too. I was told on the day of my examination, biopsy. I had no one with me either. I remember absolutely sobbing as I paid for my parking, full on wracking, heaving snotty sobs.

That was June 2021 and now it's August 2025 and I'm still here, recovered after having all the treatment - I got through it and you will too. 🌺

Take your time in processing it all. It's a process. Thinking of you and your family.

I had a shock diagnosis too, bi-lateral breast cancer, ER+ Her2+ and grade 3. I had attended my first mammogram and left saying “See you in three years”. I felt fit and healthy. My children were 5,7and 9. I was in shock and didn’t tell my children until I was due to start chemo and knew I wouldn’t be able to hide the chemo side effects. With my children being so young we told them Our bodies are made up of lots of tiny cells that do lots of good work and keep us healthy but sometimes they’re naughty and they get up to mischief. Mummy’s cells have got up to mischief and made a lump so now I have to have some very special medicine that will make me feel poorly to make the lump go away. I told them about losing my hair and that upset them more than anything but I said I didn’t mind, I was ok about it because it would grow back. It was a tough conversation but I held it together, didn’t cry, and pretended I was ok about having to have special medicine.

I wish you all the very best x

I am so sorry, take care

So sorry to hear this , we’re all here for you ♥️

@Mynewnameis
Sending all good wishes, OP, for your treatment and recovery.

@Dontlookbackinangeriheardyousay
That was the kindest, clearest explanation to children I've ever heard. I've saved it in case I or someone else ever needs it.

@Dontlookbackinangeriheardyousay I really hope you are well now. How beautifully you explained thst to the kids. My nurse has recommended a website I need to look at. Dh is pushing to tell them soon so I need to hold him.back. I think because they are going back to school. They are 9 and 12 so a bit older. One is autistic and a very sensitive and anxious child.

Sorry to hear the shock you had.
On my biopsy the consultant said he was almost certain it was nothing nasty. The mammogram had been clear too. Now I know that's because of the type of cancer.

What a fantastic explanation @Dontlookbackinangeriheardyousay

We used ‘rogue’ cells as our children were older. The eldest knew straight away what we meant but it softened it for the younger one.

I waited until we knew what the treatment would be. I didn’t see anything helpful in telling them I had cancer but didn’t know what was going to happen. A treatment plan will come soon so then you know what you can tell them with certainty. Good luck and you’ll be fine. (Mine was HER2+, ER+ grade 2/3. I had chemo & MX & radio. Kids were 9&6 at the time. One year last I’m cancer free and still here.)

My son is also autistic and when undergoing investigation on a two week wait for suspected gynaecology cancer we didn’t tell him anything and I only felt ready to tell him several weeks after getting the all clear. I think that you need to process the emotions yourself before telling others personally, especially children with additional needs.

Thanks both.
MRI is Tuesday so hopefully I'll be called for a meeting after that.
I can talk about it without crying with my friend I told, but if my kids start crying I'll be sobbing as I always do in similar situations.

Got some zopiclone to help sleep. Otherwise keeping busy.

You don’t need to tell anyone if you don’t want to. I only told people who I knew would help me. My nurse told me to tell everyone but I didn’t want to so I didn’t.
I told DD when I was ready.
Once you’ve got a plan in place you feel a bit more in control of the situation, I’d probably wait till then.

I had to tell people as I had a lumpectomy first, so people knew I was going into hospital.
My cancer was ER /HR /HER+2, so very heavily hormone led, luckily I had no lymph node involvement.

I had chemo, radiotherapy and 18 Herceptin injections and now currently on Exemestane for 10 years.

Once they know what type of cancer you have will determine what treatment you get. There are 12 different types of breast cancer (something I didn't know until I got cancer).

My boys were in their late teens when I was diagnosed, there were tears but we all remained very positive. I found the forums on Breast Cancer Now very supportive and still message a few people I connected with on there.

Sorry you are going through this OP.
Can I ask, what your symptoms were?

@BG2015 I certainly didnt know about all the types. I think the stain test result is forthright hormone status info.

A lump under my armpit I'd ignored for stupidly long as I've always had extra breast tissue there.