Testicular Cancer and infertile

[Allybeatle]

I had a cancer a few years ago and unfortunately had to have a bilateral orchidectomy and now I am infertile and now as I can’t have children. I want to date again now and feel really worried no one would want to be with me, as a mid 40s male who can no longer have children.

I think lots of women are deciding not to have dc these days so it’s not such a big thing. Also your of an age where some women will be empty nesters so kids grown and off to uni etc Looking forward to travel and new adventures.

Did you you freeze any sperm atall?

As PP said many women don't want children and many more will have already had theirs at your age. And, not to put too fine a point on it, sperm is cheap and abundant - if you meet a woman and she really wants kids, there are ways.

This would be a positive for me 😂 I have two already and wouldn’t be interested in more.

most women in their mid 40s aren’t looking to have more children or start embarking on a motherhood journey. (The problem is that many men in their 40s looking to date aren’t looking for women the same age but someone 10 or more years younger - so assuming that you aren’t looking in that age bracket then I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised

I’m sorry to hear that. Would you have liked children?

I’m mid 40s and don’t want children so it wouldn’t bother me personally.

Hope you are ok that’s sounds rough, but most women I know don’t want children or already have some, so I’d see it as a bonus.

Hiya no I don’t want any more children now and would be looking for someone my own age or a couple of years either way. I just worried that the lack of balls might put people off. The cancer journey was so quick I didn’t really think about freezing sperm and when asked I felt like it wasn’t important I just wanted the cancer removed as soon as possible.

I don’t think this will matter to some women as some pp have stated, many women don’t want children altogether, or they don’t want anymore.

I am very conscious of looking different down there! I didn’t get prosthetics as I didn’t like the thought of having anything like that in my body as I was worried about it causing problems further down the road

Perhaps forming a friendship or an emotional relationship with someone first will mitigate the risks that someone is going to reject you solely on your looks down there. There is more to a relationship than looks / equipment so to speak.

I can’t speak for all women but I’d hazard a guess most of us would see beyond any physical differences, I know for sure I would as I dated a guy who’d had one removed for similar reasons and I can’t say I even noticed.

Thank you it makes me feel a lot better

My DH only has one and I never even think about it. He was self conscious when we first got together but it absolutely has never ever been an issue nor something that bothered me. As others have said so many people these days don’t want children!

A man in their 40s, with no kids but no massive relationship baggage is like finding a unicorn. A man in his 40s who is aiming to date women his own age is even rarer than a unicorn!

There are lots of women who don't want kids, don't want to be a stepmum, or have kids of their own and want a relationship not a blended family.

Go for it, I think you will find you have a much larger dating pool than you realise.

Women aren't, in general, aesthetically interested in testicles at all. As long as your dick works for penetrative sex, very few women would be at all bothered that your balls look different.

I am taking testosterone shots so it all works as it should lol!!