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Cancer

Find advice & support if you or someone you know has been diagnosed with cancer

Struggling with dad who is just really unpleasant to be around 😔

2 replies

Totallybannanas · 28/06/2025 00:13

He has stage 4 oesophagus cancer. We found out 7 weeks ago. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions and he's not cooed well with it at all. He is still mobile, but slow and fatigued. He is still eating and doesn't seem to be in pain . He just has nausea, and has recently become incontinent. The last few days he has been very agitated and short tempered. He is rude to people and will curse out loud. I'm struggling to be around him and not say anything. He has out alot of caring demands on me and I know I'm burnt out. I dread seeing him. He's not having treatment but is on anti anxiety tablets and recently had steroids. I'm wondering if this could be the cause or maybe a possible UTI, is just fear and exhausting. The local hospice have taken him in for respite and have put a syringe driver in place with more anti anxiety medication to help calm him down. He can't sleep at night and is agitated and fidgety. I've been with him nearly every day since the diagnosis and I'm so tired. My only sibling is useless and my dad is so emotionally dependent on me, because there is no one else. I don't know how much longer we are both going to go on for and fear it may end badly. I just want it over with now 😞

OP posts:
Lovemybunnies · 28/06/2025 04:19

Hi OP this sounds awful and I’m so sorry. I’m hoping you are asleep by now as you need your rest. How long is the respite for? Can you speak to anyone at the hospice about how you feel? Is there any possibility for carers to help you at home?

Totallybannanas · 28/06/2025 11:35

Thank you for you reply, he was having carers come in but they weren't really doing alot. He was supposed to have a new carer package, once a day but due to his respite admission it has started. He just expects me to do everything, I thought we were going to lose him and I didn't think things would go on this long so I did everything to help care for him and help nourish him again. I've made a rod for my own back.

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