Hello All :)
Never thought I’d be in this situation but here I am. It’s strange, I never thought it would happen to me but why would it not happen to me? It’s like a raffle that no bigger wants to win.
Anyhow, I’m 34, had my 2nd daughter in March this year. My breasts engorged after stopping breastfeeding and once they’d deflated, left breast was left with a large lump. Literally appeared overnight, 10cm. I’m not even exaggerating so I thought it was some clogged milk. Did the old heat compress, massage, didn’t go down and was sore.
Went to GP in May, sent home with Naproxen and told to come back if it didn’t resolve on its own. GP didn’t seem concerned so neither did I, I went back to GP beginning of August as it was in my way and was getting stabbing pains.
GP says she’s sure it’s a Galactocele (sp?) but because of the size of it she referred me under 2WW.
Got appointment, saw consultant, they did ultrasound, were ready to aspirate then said it was solid, just a small bit of fluid near the centre. Sent me down corridor to a consultant radiologist who thought it was Galactocele as well but did some core biopsies to err on side of caution. Even letter to GP said it was a bloody suspected Galactocele. Been even more painful after biopsy, leaking fluid, had abx for suspected infection.
Went back today, first words out of the consultants mouth were that it’s cancer. My poor mother nearly ended up in resus and I was just gobsmacked. They said they were as shocked as us.
They’ve said it’s triple negative breast cancer, grade 3. I am now waiting for scans and the other tests for staging and to see if it’s spread. They’ve said chemo first then surgery. The consultant had a good rummage in my armpits and said he didn’t feel anything and to take as a good sign, with the caveat that he’s not a human ultrasound.
I don’t know how I feel. I feel sorry for my mum because she was trying to hold it together for me but she was in pieces. I get it though, if it was one of my kids I’d be the same hearing that today and how stark it sounded. We attended the appointment fully expecting to be told how they were planning to treat this giant milk rock to being told it’s cancer.
I have 2 girls, an 8 year old and a 5 month old. DH is horrified but he’s gone into planning mode, told his boss and agreed to reduce hours etc etc. I’m self-employed as a regulatory consultant and plan to keep my nose in work as and when I feel able to. I only need to do a few hours each week to cover the bills so I recognise how fortunate I am in that regard.
I don’t know how I feel at this moment. I’ve sent everyone to bed because I need time to process. I’ve had my game face on all evening as I don’t want my 8 year old suspecting anything, at least until I know what the score is and plan of action.
I’m swinging between “be positive” and crying thinking that I’m not going to see my girls grow up.
It’s this waiting game to find out more, I’m only on day 1 and I already feel like I’m losing my mind with the not knowing.
I’ve read through some of these threads before posting here tonight and you all sound really brave and supportive. I’m hoping that some of your courage will rub off on me too.
Big hugs to all, it’s truly a feeling like I’ve never experienced. We hear of people getting cancer and it’s always awful but hearing you have it yourself is truly a fresh kind of hell. I’m not googling anything even though it was my first instinct. I’m shit scared of what I might read and I don’t even know the full picture yet, so best not to go down that road. I’ll end up having a bloody heart attack!!!