Cancer Support Thread 97: support for those diagnosed and going through treatment

[LiliJilliBobs]

Cancer support thread 97: support for those newly diagnosed and /or undergoing treatment…..
Thread 96 is pretty full - here’s a new one

We did indeed get some brushed cotton super soft bedding and a lovely throw, I'd love to say it helped me sleep but nope!!
Ah well, I think I just have to accept I have a split sleep time now between 10-1 then 4-7, its just about 6 hours and with some podcasts in the middle.

I was however too tired to go on to the garden centre so no bulbs but we've plenty of time still, most of the garden centres are having Christmas launch weekends so it's probably wiser to go midweek.

IKEA is one of those places that makes me panic, it's always SO busy but I love the kids section, the last few times we picked up what must have been a million little mice toys that one of our cats adored. I'd go back for the mixes but you'd need to put horse blinkers on me so I could run to the one but I need and run out again 😂

My daughter is just back Tuesday evening- Thursday morning, she's getting braces fitted on Wednesday but she's planning on taking her car with her so she can come back more often and visit, she's been so unbelievably sweet not going out and even turned down a shift this weekend so she's confident she has no illness brewing before coming.

@FcukBreastCancer I am so pleased you have a date, I do believe the waiting for treatment is the hardest, treatment is far from fun, but in my head there's a game plan, I know what's expected - I treat this like my job, KPIs on water intake, calories, timing my day around eating and medication.
Simply waiting for answers was for me the worst thing, so I really hope as scary as surgery is, knowing the plan will bring you some peace, and we're all here to chat if you have a wobble.

Can't believe the timing. I have food poisoning or something. Awful fever and kidney pain. Waiting for Dr call back...

Oh no, that's the worst - have you heard back from the doctor yet?
I do hope you feel better soon, hopefully if it's food poisoning it'll come out quickly and you'll start to feel better xx

That's basically what the doctor said. I didn't really fancy going to out of hours as there has been a massive sporting event here today. It took ages for them to get back to me and by then the good drugs had helped.
She said if I get worse to call back.

Family have shopped for snacks for me so nibbling on prezels.

I hope everyone else manages to have done sunday rest.

@Ventress, it’s saying picture too big, I’ll try another tomorrow. He lives in a vivarium with thermostats. He has one cooler end and one hotter end. Lives the life of luxury!

I’m sure you’ll be fine with a Lemsip :) I hope you feel better tomorrow and the cold eases off.

@ForestFlowerFairy at least you’ll be super comfy whilst not sleeping, love a good throw, I have far too many, I’m banned from buying more throws which I think is a bit in unfair. Your daughter sounds lovely Forest ❤️. What is she studying at uni?

@FcukBreastCancer sorry to hear you’re feeling so shite! Pretzels however are the food of the gods so fingers crossed they work their magical properties and help you feel better for tomorrow.

Hope everyone has had a peaceful and restful weekend despite the illnesses, I’m so tired, feel like I’ve fell out of a tree.

Got an appointment with the Oncologist tomorrow so feeling a bit nervous about it. It’s just a follow up, nothing exciting or news to be delivered, but think I had some PTSD of appointments in general. My brain keeps whispering “they’re going to tell you bad news, they’ve re-looked at your scans and found something, your gene testing has come back positive”.

Any tips for shutting up an insolent bastard brain?

@cannaecookrisotto I have very few tips on brain shutting off im afraid, I suspect my brain is another entity half the time.
I do find plan my distractions, podcasts & housework - anything that doesn't require too much thought or effort but is relatively numbing. My podcasts are the German coffee in the hope I finally learn some German, 3 years working for a German/swiss company who knows, maybe I can surprise them when I return by being able to do more than just order a drink! I'm also pushing myself into listening to a politics podcast in the aim I get a more balanced view of the world.

This week's housework focus for distraction is drying all the outdoor cushions in readiness for putting away. Prior to this it was washing all the door mats, cleaning the curtains.
I feel so clumsy and useless right now that whilst housework really doesn't matter it's a small task I can do and it quiets my brain to achieve small tiny things.

My daughter has started year 2 studying law, I am beyond impressed by her. For an idiot who got pregnant at 18 I have produced an amazing daughter who is so driven and caring and I wish I had her confidence as a 19 year old .
My son is 21 and just started studying Finance at uni, he's taking longer to find his place, but he always gets there in the end.
And here I am, turning 40 in November and wishing I could start all over and do it again, I do think my children are my greatest achievement, they've always made me want to make myself a better person. We're not very good at sharing our thoughts, but we often send songs that make us think of each other and the one at the moment that makes me smile and think of my daughter is Armour by Sara Barelies.

I hope you're cold is feeling better @Ventress and that you're on the mend @FcukBreastCancer

I hope the worst of the food poisoning has passed @FcukBreastCancer and that you are more comfortable today.

I have a similar split sleep pattern @ForestFlowerFairy. I have been reading on my kindle in my waking hours but I like the sound of podcasts, although I doubt they will be as educational as yours. I will investigate.

I too love a nice throw, although I have an Oodie and it's just the best and warmest thing ever. I was so impressed that I got some for DS and DH last Christmas and we all spent the winter in our old and cold house snuggled in our Oodies.

Good luck getting the outdoor cushions dried and put away. It's very warm and sunny here so I hope you are enjoying good weather too.

Your daughter sounds lovely, and clever! I hope her orthodontist appointment goes well this week and that you get to spend some quality time with her. Good that your son has found his niche now too.

How was your appointment @cannaecookrisotto?

Richard sounds like he lives the life of a King. What a lucky chap he is!

You seem to be able to vocalise how I'm feeling so well. I had been really positive about my Oncologist appointment as the chance to ask the questions I haven't been able to yet - I had a pad with a list and everything. Only to arrive and dissolve into a trembly mess of "oh crap what if he tells me I won't see Christmas?"

Anyway, (and obviously) he did nothing of the sort. My treatment pathway is planned as 12 weeks of chemo (Paclitaxel) followed by scans then a decision on either more chemo (depending on the state of my lungs) or move to anti-hormone therapy. No surgery is planned ever - no point dealing with the primary tumour apparently, just the Lymphangitis. I am going to have a full body bone scan as soon as possible for a baseline and to see if I need the injections.

My cold is still streaming and I'm scared that it will settle on my lungs and compromise my breathing but the Consultant said if that starts to happen I'm to come in immediately and use my A&E "Fast Pass". I'm booked to have the Flu vaccination on Thursday and COVID the week after. I've barely left the house for two months so I'm blaming DS going back to school and bringing back germs for my cold!

I'm much better thanks @ForestFlowerFairy.
Just want to say that you sound like a great mum

@cannaecookrisotto . Ive been guilty of scheduling my time to avoid thinking. Possibly I overdid it and hence got ill. Probably need to schedule down time too. Do you have a Maggies center nearby? They have some great resources, classes, people to talk too.

I just sorted a freezer draw and made healthy soup with some old veg. I must be better!
At least i can go ahead with pre op stuff thos week. I've booked two nights away at weekend for a pre op and husband birthday joint treat. Afternoon tea on Sunday. Thankfully I didnt do it last weekend due to storm Amy. So I guess that is one bit of good luck.

@ventress sorry to hear about your cold. Its tough going into October. I had flu jab last week.

I wanted to say I've tried magnesium for sleep and feel it's really helpful. Assuming it's ok with treatments etc, I recommend giving it a go. Lifelong insomnia sufferer!
Gp gave me some zopiclone when I got diagnosis, but it's rationed for short time use.

@ForestFlowerFairy your daughter and son sound fab, picked good subjects too!! They’ll be looking after you in your older years 😂. I’m trying to mould my 8 year old into being a brain box but her dream job is to be a “pencil sharpener”. So my care home will be shit no doubt.

My mum had me at 18 :). She’s my best friend now I’m 34. Don’t know what I’d do without her. Especially now, she’s reverted back to treating me like I’m 10, secretly enjoying it!!

Our kids will always be our greatest achievement. They’re testaments to you, you’ve done a great job from what you’ve said ❤️.

My biggest distraction is work but I can’t do that at 3am. I would if I could but my 6mo can smell it when I leave the bed. She’s in a cot in the same room, but she can be in the deepest sleep, if I get up for a wee, she somehow senses it and I come back and she’s looking at me with beady little eyes as if to say “frick do you think you’re going without me woman”.

I love a good podcast. I love the “Morbid” podcasts. I listen to PCs when I’m driving, I do (well did) some fair mileage for work and I loved popping on a scary podcast and enjoying the peace and quiet.

German sounds good! The company I used to work for (I consult for them now) has a HQ in Germany and my boss was based in Frankfurt, spoke German but was a Frenchman. He used to try and convince me to learn German often. Sometimes when we would be audited, he would flit between English, German and French quite quickly and bamboozle us all.

I’m in awe at you doing housework!! I’ve not hoovered the stairs in about 2 weeks. I’m not great at it when I’m at my healthiest, never mind now. I did (well DH did whilst I sat on the couch and pointed out what needed doing) a clear out and I have a cleaner starting next Monday once a week. Otherwise we’re going to end up living in squalor. There’s going to be fluff living on fluff. I did find a massive spider yesterday, I relocated him to under my couch before the cats spotted him. Could have strapped a saddle on him, bloody magnificent.

@Ventress he defo lives like a King in his Club Tropicana, locusts and Pok Choi on tap. He has an ornament that is the gates off the film “Jurassic Park”. He sits on top of them super proud of himself.

My appointment went well but was strange. She’s really pleased with how much twat lump has shrunk, she said “oh gosh it really has shrunk”. Then she confused the crap out of me regarding my lymph nodes. They did US and lymph biopsies (multiple) on the 11th September. US shown suspicious nodes. Oncologist physically examined them on the 15th and told me to expect the biopsies to come back as positive. Today she says that the biopsies have actually come back clear but they discussed at MDT and they’re all in agreement that biopsies need to be repeated as the US looked suspicious but biopsy says negative. So I don’t actually know wtf is happening in my nodes at this point. I said to just get rid of the fuckers anyway just in case but she said if they can spare me that they will.

She also mentioned that even if my gene testing comes back negative, a double mastectomy would reduce my risk of the cancer returning in either breast. Apparently in younger women there’s higher chance of it coming back in same or other breast. At this point, I don’t give a shit about my tits. Cut them off, I don’t care. My type of BC is so bloody aggressive and doesn’t have the benefits of ongoing targeted therapies like hormone positive BCs so in the face of that - take the traitors away.

I’m on Paclitaxol now :) alongside Carboplatin. When do you make a start? I’m having 12 weeks too, then move onto 12 weeks of Epirubicin and Cyclophosphomide. I’m having quite an easy ride on Paclitaxol, I’m putting it down to staying extremely hydrated. I have an electrolyte drink each day too. I like to think it’s helping to flush the shite around my body. Are you going to cold cap? Paclitaxol can also cause some peripheral neuropathy so ask if they provide the cold socks and mitts. If they don’t, you can pick some up off Amazon, but I’d defo recommend them. Some of my new chemo buddies who haven’t used them have started suffering quite badly with it.

I’m cold capping and haven’t lost any yet (done 3 weeks) but tbh it’s annoying me having to stay for 90 minutes once the last infusion has finished. But now I’d feel like the last weeks of frozen head would have been for nothing if give up!!

Is the chemo aiming to deal with the lymphangitis? Hopefully the Taxol will get to work doing its wonderful job and you feel better quickly. Even with the tiredness side effects, the symptom relief I got in my breast after just a few weeks was enormous and I’m crossing everything you get the same response to it. It’s shrunk to half the size (was 9cm the scary bastard). I hate scans so much. I hate even getting the letters for them. I know how important they are and I know I need them but I much prefer burying my head in the sand. I think this is why we hate appointments with the Oncologists too. It makes it REAL.

Hope your cold settles soon @Ventress, last thing you need now is a cold!! Don’t forget to check your temperature as well and anything over 37.5c get on the phone. I’ve not had to call the hotline yet. I was close before as it briefly went to 37.6 but I suspect it’s because I ate a family sized portion of shepherds pie, so I gave it 20’mins and it went back down. I had the meat sweats. My kids are full of snot at the moment but I’ve managed to avoid getting it (she says but have probably just jinxed myself!!).

@FcukBreastCancerthere is a Maggies right next to the Christie’s where I’m being treated and every time I leave I mean to pop in, then think “next time”. I really should. I’m going to drag my mum in, I think she needs some support, maybe more than I do at the moment. She called me this morning having a bit of a panic attack. I’ll drag us both in.

Two nights away sounds amazing! I commend you for not letting this shit get in the way of you enjoying yourself. I should take a leaf out of your book, I’m still in the feeling sorry for myself stage and just lie on the couch like an angry badger.

I’d love some Zopiclone but the baby fat-fat would get really pissed off with me if I wasn’t alert and to attention should her dummy pop out. I do have some diazepam 2mg which I highly endorse. Takes the edge off for me (when I begin having an existential crisis) and I’ve found that I’ve not had to use any for a few weeks now. Just knowing they’re in the cupboard is enough for me at the moment.

In other news I have an appointment with breast surgeon on Weds after chemo. I’m quite looking forward to it as he has no shit news to deliver because it’s the first time I’m meeting him and I have a long list of questions about what happens to my nipples that I need answers to.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. @DanFmDorking, how are you this week? What adventures have you been on?

A weekend away sounds absolutely lovely @FcukBreastCancer I'm really hoping to start booking things as soon as I'm feeling well again. I see all these Christmas experiences but Im too nervous to book yet. I don't mind pausing fun things, but somehow booking and missing out seems worse.
My radiotherapy appt wasn't until 1745 today, so we stopped at a brewers fayre for food 🤢 (I can't taste much so the tika masala was more.like slop!) and all I could think is as soon as I'm well I'm going to ALL the restaurants. I thought I'd be missing alcohol, but now, it's good food I'm missing - good food and a nice place to stay sounds like absolute heaven.

@cannaecookrisotto I have never thought of a scary podcast, do you do horrors or actual real life crime sorts?

Your reminder for the electrolyte drinks had me check Amazon and the humantra ones are on one of their big prime day deals, I got some on offer a few weeks ago and was struggling to justify the £30 price of them in boots, so if anyone else is looking it's currently 4 packs for £60.

Sadly nothing else in the same is jumping out at me but I have killed a good hour of my nighttime waking checking!!

Finally, and not least, how Amazing at the shrinkage and the oncologist being happy about it, that really is fantastic news.
I know what you mean about lop anything off that isn't needed, when they removed my right tonsil (main tumour) I was all for giving the left and any other part of my traitorous mouth.

Lymph nodes are funny little fuckers though, and whilst I'm happy to microwave the crap out of mine, research is showing how vital they are for longer term health - so if they can be made to behave keeping them is actually better.
On my first scan my lymph nodes were enlarged but by the second scan one small little bugger had popped up with the fat helium missing, I think there was an 9 week gap between scans, god knows what would have happened if we hadn't pushed for a second scan but the most important part is the doctors are all looking and aware.

I am feeling better from the nasty 💩 🌡 virus. Even cooked Sundays planned roast last night. Although ate more than was probably sensible.

I have loads of pre opp stuff this week. Also shopping for bras and button up nightmare.

I think having your children younger can really see the benefits for you both.
My mum is in her 70s but can no longer help me due to health. I had my kids at 38. So it worries me tbh. I have no family near me, but a fantastic network of friends.

Sounds like good news on shrinkage and lymph nodes @cannaecookrisotto .

I mean button up nightmare! I'd like to button up the nightmares though. Had loads last week, maybe it was the virus taking hold.

Ah hek, it changed it again - NIGHTWEAR....

A couple of nights away sounds great @FcukBreastCancer - something to take you away from the everyday routine. I'm glad you are feeling better and I hope your shopping trip goes well and you find everything you want.

I had my son later in life too. I was too busy enjoying my twenties and early thirties to want to settle down and no way was I mature enough to have been able to cope with a baby at 18! I am in awe of you @ForestFlowerFairy and your mum @cannaecookrisotto for taking on that responsibility.

We are supposed to be going away for October half term - just Cornwall, nowhere exotic. It's Saturday to Saturday so my tentative idea is to find a local hospital who could do my pre-chemo blood test on the Wednesday and then come home Thursday ready for chemo on Friday. That way we would get 5 days. I asked the doctor yesterday and he had no objections. I just need to find somewhere to do the blood test now...

I have bought some of the electrolytes from Amazon - thanks for the tip. My stomach is becoming a way more unstable place than it used to be and I don't want to become dehydrated.

I properly laughed at Richard and his Jurassic Park gate - channelling his inner T-Rex

I'm already on the Pax - I've had 4 so far (sorry my post was confusing @cannaecookrisotto ). It has helped my breathing a lot and my blood oxygen is up and my heart rate and blood pressure are down (though still not great). My hair has really started to come out now following the fourth session. I couldn't have the cold cap as the first couple of weeks were given as an in patient and they didn't have access to it. I have resigned myself to losing my hair - it's horrible anyway so not much of a loss. The cold cap worked for my sister though and she was on a different "Taxol", so hopefully it will work for you.

I think you should definitely get a Christmas break @ForestFlowerFairy ! I hope the radiotherapy was okay yesterday and your dad is proving to be a good chauffeur for you! Enjoy your time with your daughter over the next few days too.

Wonderful news about the tumour shrinkage @cannaecookrisotto! That's amazing progress. I hope the meeting with the surgeon goes well and they can answer all of your questions. My sister has a lovely mastectomy scar, it's a big smile shape - no nipple yet as she's still considering reconstruction but the hospital have tattoo artists who they can refer her to. Apparently the tattoos are extremely realistic. Not sure whether your baby would agree though

Hope you re doing well @DanFmDorking and everyone else. Take care ❤

I am here to join the club that no one wants to be in.
A few month ago I found a lump
next to my nipple. Had a lot going on so just kept an eye /hand on it.
Wednesday last week, noticed it had got bigger, so trip to the doctor.
was in room for 40 mins with 2 doctors who found the nipple lump but also a 2x3 cm lump in my breast. Haven’t a clue how I missed that bad boy. Female doctor just said we think it’s breast cancer.
This now explains a lot, pain in my boob, that wraps round to my ribs & shoulder.
finally noticed my boob is swollen compared to the other.
ironic as I’m a nurse.
I have the breast clinic on Friday, been before hence left boob has 2 cysts that I know of.
This time I am worried.
family want to come with me but told them I’m fine by myself.
My female boss just said how did you miss that. Like cheers love, where’s the womanhood empathy?!

I’m sorry to welcome you here@cheshirecatsmile. Breast clinic on Friday is good - not too long to wait. Please consider taking someone with you, if only to benefit from the extra pair of ears.

We are here for you to vent at, and give whatever support we can. 💐

@cheshirecatsmile sorry you’re here but welcome ❤️.

I’m hoping with everything I have that they’re wrong and it turns out to be something harmless but at least your appointment is on Friday and you’ll know either way without a long drawn out wait.

You’re in the absolute shittiest bit right now, the limbo of wankery “WTF is happening to me”. I had a lot of pain too, mine was 9cm (and I have tiny boobs so my left breast was practically translucent). GP was telling me in was blocked milk since May as I only had my second DD in March. I pushed and finally was referred under 2WW mid-August.

I got diagnosed on the 1st Sept with triple negative BC, started chemo on the 17th. That bit in the middle of those two dates was fresh hell. The day I started treatment and had a plan of action was when my feet started to touch the floor again, and I began marching onwards. You will too.

My mum was with me on my results day (we were only expecting to be told a date to remove a giant milk blockage), but I’m so glad I had her there. Yes it was hard for my mum to hear too, but she’s also really glad she was there for me. It’s ok to lean on people at the moment. It’s a life changing conversation. Like ripples on a pond. Breast cancer is so treatable now, even mine which is extra spicy, they’re aiming to cure but in that moment it can feel so overwhelming. I was absolutely stoic for the first 20 minutes whilst they went through the histology but as soon as they left me alone for a moment I crumbled, it was the thought of my kids. That’s when mum got hold of me and I needed her. And just having someone to talk to on the way home.

Now it’s the other way around, my mums the one who is melting and I’m like “ah give over woman, I got this”.

And you’ve got this too! This is a great place to vent and we get it. We’re riding the misfortune wheel of wankery with you. How old are you? Do you have children?

I’m 34, have a 6 month old and 7yr old girls. A manchild DH, 2 cats, a bearded dragon and trying to run my own business as well as this zoo (as well as treatment) so it’s a challenge to say the least but keeps my mind occupied!

Mine is Triple Negative so I have chemo first before surgery. Currently stuffing my face with carrot cake so nausea doesn’t seem to be a problem of mine 😂.

@ForestFlowerFairy how was radiotherapy? What’s it like? I have that part after surgery (in what feels like 25 years away).

I like true crime and I’m not impartial to the paranormal. “Morbid” do a mixture of things like famous murders, the Salem witch trials, incidents such as Nutty Putty Cave and then some on hauntings etc. There’s hundreds of episodes, I love it.

I love anything true crime related. I’ve just watched the new Monster: Ed Gein on Netflix and was really disappointed because it wasn’t historically accurate, unlike the Jeffrey Dahmer one or the Menendez Murders.

When I put it like this I sound like a right morbid little shit myself!! But it does fascinate me.

Also the paranormal. I’m a bit woo but I also read a lot of philosophy books to do with consciousness theory (David Chalmers etc). So I believe in “spirit” but that it’s actually our consciousness and how this ties into quantum mechanics. So I’m basically looking for a scientific answer to life after death in a nutshell 😂. I sound like an absolute nutter now. I follow the work of Dr Peter Fenwick, who is a British neuropsychologist and neurophysiologist. Have a look at him on the web, he’s done some fascinating studies from a medical perspective on it.

I’m going to grab some of those electrolytes whilst they’re on offer so thanks for letting us know! I swear by my daily electrolytes for flushing this toxic shite round my body and making me feel less crappy.

I’m all for lopping off! Anything that has rebelled in such treacherous fashion is no longer welcome in my house. They can have my boobs, nodes, kidneys, vagina, just take it all 😂. The less organs left for me to spend the next 5 years obsessing over the better.

Whats bothering me now with the nodes is even if they do another biopsy, they could well show negative purely because of my response to chemo. So then that could prompt them to do a sentinal node biopsy and rely on this to remove the affected nodes. The issue I have with that is I’ve read some journals that cite a SNB false negative rate of 24%. So that, coupled with how aggressive my cancer is, makes me feel a bit twitchy. I’m going to pester the poor surgeon with these questions tomorrow (have intro appt with him tomorrow at 16:45). He’s going to hate me and my journal reading, I’m every doctors worst nightmare aren’t I. But in reality, if my oncologist or surgeon recommended I ran through Manchester town centre naked wearing nothing but a tea cozy I’d do it.

@FcukBreastCancer so glad the nasty 💩 virus has done gone pissed off! I think eating is a good thing. Build up your stores. Like a squirrel getting ready for winter but you’re prepping for surgery.

I had my first when I was 25. Second 6 months ago at 34. I find I’m a lot more chill and patient this time round. Probs because my expectations have been well and truly managed by my feral firstborn.

@Ventress I love Cornwall so much ❤️. I so hope you get to go for 5 days, you deserve a nice break!!

Lloyds do a bloods at home service - you’d have to pay but they use CitySprint to courier the bloods to the hospital. I use them and they told me that if people go on holiday they can actually do it there too. They were telling me about meeting up with a lady who had a day trip booked for her daughter at Peppa Pig world, so he met up with her and did her blood there 😂. Might be worth a phone call?

I’d defo be trying the local hospitals first and see what they say.

So glad the Pax has helped with your breathing! My hair has done ok (cold capping) however I’ve not cold capped my massive 70s bush downstairs and that’s clinging on for dear life. It will not budge. I’ve purposely left it to see how long it takes to fall out. Nope!!!

Thank you for telling me about your sisters mastectomy scar, it does make me feel better. I could have reconstruction after radio but not sure I can be arsed with being faffed with even more. I need to give it some thought.

I did try and breast feed but I’m shit at that as well, coupled with a tongue tie and they had no hope the poor buggers!!

@cannaecookrisotto Spent most of Tuesday lying comatose half asleep - made worse this evening by starting to watch 'Dune' on ITV - a spaceship lands and one bagpipe player comes out - "We took this planet, with air power, and sea power...now we need desert power" - and many more meaningless lines - what a load of rubbish.

@cheshirecatsmile welcome to the club - I hope things go well on Friday

@FcukBreastCancer glad the awful virus has gone

Welcome @cheshirecatsmile - you're most welcome but so sad to have another member.

Yesterday wasn't a great day, my Dad arrived and talked at me the whole time, everything from t cut on a motorbike box (I've no bloody clue) to work stress, a new horse and what car do I want next on and on and on. Radiotherapy was a blast, 10 minutes of silence
Unfortunately I also screwed up my beds which wore off before we left the hospital, by the time we got home I was a little bit of a mess, but thankfully they kicked in just before my daughter arrived so I did a pretty good impression of someone whose got this, at least for an hour before I went to bed!
I am officially half way. 3 chemos done, 15 radiotherapy done, we continue again today, start of week 4

@cannaecookrisotto radiotherapy isn't bad in itself, I'm a smidge negative as I'm having it daily and as it's on my throat the side effects are horrible BUT the radiotherapy itself is ok. I'm in a machine that looks like a CT machine, my face is strapped down in a mask to the bed and then it gently rocks and whirrs for between 5-10 minutes. You feel absolutely nothing
It's only as my insides get microwaved that the soreness starts, I'd say use the cream they give you. My chest, neck and back feel like I have sunburn to touch but the cream really helps cool that down.
A friend had breast cancer and thankfully her radiotherapy was short, I'm sure just a handful of sessions and some lasting second's so I really hope/ believe yours may be similar.
I shall look up this doctor you mention during today's chemo and report back how much of a nutter you seem....but surely we should all be a little nutty about something otherwise the world would be very boring

@cannaecookrisottothank you ,
im 48 with 3 grown up children and 6 grandchildren. Youngest grandchild is 9 months old.
I too have a man child, a mental malinois dog and a giant snail.

I’m off for some retail therapy today.
my nana had breast cancer in her 30’s and my mum in her 40’s.
never been tested for genes.
just feeling very sorry for myself.

And to others thank you.
I’ve sort of read most of this thread and there’s a few warriors on here. Women are amazing

Welcome @cheshirecatsmile. Not sure if my tagging is working.

@forestfairy I have a similar dad. I am putting off ringing him but must do it today and hear his words of wisdom.

Had pre op yesterday . Apparently I'm healthy (dont feel it).
Nurse today. She will show me pics of boob scars Apparently

Tuesday I get a lymph dye injection
Weds surgery.

I've stopped work so at least can have the time.

@FcukBreastCancer best of luck with the phone call with your Dad, I've just been called into chemo and hooked up to the IV and all I can think is I've got 2-3 wonderful hours of quiet.

The TV was on volume 40 this morning, usually we have it around 14, and he talked and talked. The whole time my brain is screaming shut up. I think I deserve a medal for not actually saying it out loud.

He can't understand why I won't go to the pub tonight....deep breaths, it's only until Friday but my god I want to hug my mum, sister, sister in law and husband who have all taken shifts in driving me without using me as a verbal hostage to every thought in their head