Struggling with breast cancer reality

[lemonbabe]

Hello ladies, I was diagnosed with BC in February. Had my op early April and now awaiting radiation therapy. I feel lost.

Anyone out there who can give me a moral booster right now would be greatly appreciated ☀️💝🙏🏼

sending love to all 🥰

Hi, I was in the same position 3 years ago and it was the most terrifying experience of my life but once you settle into a routine it becomes your new normal.

Mine was initially thought to be relatively small and would only need surgery to get tid of it. When they took it out though , it was a completely different story.

Suddenly I was looking at chemo etc. Once I got over the initial shock and started on a treatment path it was relatively ok. Happy to say that I am doing well now and it doesn’t occupy my mind any more really! I thought I’d never feel normal again but you will - you just need time to come to terms with it.

Best of luck with your treatment & feel free to ask any questions :)

Thanks so much Phonicfail for sharing 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’ve managed to stay strong thus far but this week has been a struggle. Like you I was told my cancer was very early stage only to discover it wasn’t really so early stage. I have skipped chemo due to me being menopause and over 50 (I’m 55). I’ll be getting radiotherapy followed by hormone therapy … I’m just terrified at the moment. Side effects of treatment, a reoccurrence .. everything. At the same time I feel isolated, I haven’t got the energy, confidence or motivation to get out and do things.

Hey Lemon, sounds like a tough place to be emotionally but most people with breast cancer do really well. Are you able to reach out to your breast clinical nurse specialists for support and potentially signposting to groups/therapies that may help?

A 20+ years survivor of BC here, had lumpectomy, radiotherapy, chemo and tamoxifen for 5 years, treatment put me into early menopause so the good news is at least you've already done that...

It's a hard road and sometimes things do look bleak, but cry if you need to. Try to find some support, not sure where you are but I was lucky enough to be near a Maggie's centre which offered all sorts of help and support from advice on nutrition, visualisation and relaxation classes or just a friendly shoulder to cry on. I found I didn't always want to burden family or friends with my fears - sometimes a sympathetic stranger was easier.

Hang on in there and I hope you find something that helps 💐

Hi @lemonbabe
I think what you’re feeling is completely normal. It’s a rollercoaster - particularly the waiting between treatments can create the space where your emotions come to the surface, and they are big emotions.

I had BC surgery last October then radiotherapy in December and I now have hormone therapy. The times I found it hardest is when I’ve been between treatments or when my treatment ended and I was cast out back into the real world but feeling like a completely different person. I found it very lonely - although I had great friends and family around me no one really understood how I was feeling and they all thought I looked so well that I must be feeling okay too.

I don’t really have anything to suggest, except I do know how it feels and I do know it passes… And then comes back … and passes again until you get used to it. Early days for me, but I do think it is one of those things where time makes it easier.

someone said to me early on in my diagnosis that you just have to get used to big feelings and that was so useful to me, and I’ve always held onto it when the big feelings come - happiness, sadness, tears whatever, I just try and accept them. Let them happen and let them disperse.

Wishing you all the best for the next steps of your treatment x

I had my first go round with cancer when it was breast cancer nearly 30 years ago (dCIS to be precise). It was shocking but I knew the odds were in my favour, as are yours. I was 49, so still quite young and I bounced back pretty quickly.

Good luck.

I’m currently being treated for BC (in the process of an initial 6 months of chemo), I’ve found diet and exercise stuff to be huge for my mental health. I really hear that you are not feeling able to do this right now, sounds like a bit of depression perhaps? If so completely understandable, anything you can do to spark some energy to take care of yourself might really help. I always find music really helpful at times like this.

I was similar to you 18 months ago, had a lumpectomy in the October and radiotherapy for 2 weeks in January. I’ve since had a clear mammogram and will be seen for the next 5 years.
it was very scary but once it’s over it’s amazing how quickly it fades. It’s only when I’m in the shower and see the big dent in my breast that I think about it now. I know I was very lucky, didn’t even need hormone treatment as I was negative.

all the best with your treatment x

It is very scary, and it's very usual to feel the way you do. I was diagnosed in August last year when I was 60, had four and half months of chemo, then a lumpectomy, then radiotherapy, which I finished just before Easter. I'm now on hormone therapy and Herceptin.

For me, just taking each day as it comes and allowing myself to feel whatever I feel on that particular day helps.

Hugs OP. It’s a shitty, scary thing to happen.

I found I was much calmer once the radiotherapy actually started.

A big thank you ladies 🙏🏼💝 It helps reading your experiences. My radiotherapy started this week -I just have periods where I feel so scared and pitiful. My treatment will last 3 weeks I’m just finding it difficult to remain positive and motivated. I will try to get to a Cancer group this week which may help.

sending love and strength to you all xx

@lemonbabe I finished treatment for breast cancer a year ago (6 months chemo then surgery) so didn’t do radiotherapy but I hope it’s going ok.

At regular intervals during treatment I did need to find positive words and allow myself to mope a bit. I chose 5 positive words to epitomise what I was feeling and would look at them whenever I felt lost.

I also took the view that I felt better being able to say to myself that “I’m being treated for cancer” than I felt before treatment started (“I’ve got cancer”). And was looking forward to saying “I had cancer”. I’m at this point now and generally I feel back to normal, I’ve been very lucky I know.

Hope you’re ok 💐

Hi, I have lymphoma so quite different. I have put some of my energy into things I can control. Diet (mixed success) and exercise (doing really well for a not-athletic person, with blips for chemo tiredness), as mentioned above. I am also nearly 4 months into doing 6 sets of pelvic floor exercises a day as previously this area has caused me lots of trouble due to chronic cough caused by another condition. I decided to use treatment time to focus on this (I use a free app). I am hoping to have a big improvement by summer and then keep up 3x a day to have a better future. It sounds very small but it's just one thing where my effort can help me.

I also did some studying but tbh that has gone by the wayside!

My other great joy is getting outside into woodland.

It's whatever might work for you, link you to a value or another person or give you a glimpse of a better future or a thing you can influence. Even a pot plant! Whatever might help you, I hope you find it.

I’m now nearly four years post diagnosis. Lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy. Be prepared for a slump after you finish treatment. Everyone around you celebrates, rings bells, goes on a charity/fund raising spree online but for the actual patient it can feel overwhelmingly flat . A lot of us just try to move on and try not to look back.

It very much depends on whether you enjoy the cheer leading behaviour and attention the disease has possibly brought you. I’m not trying to be unkind but we see a lot of “victims” on social media, probably a small % of actual sufferers but because they are out there it does tend to make you feel a bit uncomfortable if you are not campaigning for bc.

It’s perfectly ok to not want to keep going back, I am happy to talk about my experience but only when asked. I also hate the grief thieves who spend time looking for sympathy because their husband’s cousin’s cleaner has cancer.

I lost my DSis to cancer last year, it was very quick and we barely had time to blink. When we told close family we had to ask them not to post it on Facebook, I have a cousin who “stories” everything, but my uncle was probably the worst. He was phoning us ( my other DSis and BIL) late at night talking about how it was having such a devastating effect on him and how he wasn’t coping at all.

Radiotherapy can leave you exhausted which on top of the sudden deflation post treatment means that you tend to need a lot of time out. If you are still working make sure you have had a chat with HR in preparation. You may need a gradual return to work to accommodate the fatigue. Also there’s the physical effect and it can result in severe sunburn. I was lucky and had no real problems but did have severe fatigue for several months.

I used MooGoo on recommendation to moisturise my breast. It was December so not exacerbated by the heat. But whatever you use keep it in the fridge because it is really cooling. I just kept slapping it in when we the skin felt tight or burnt. Drinking plenty of water helps and keep up the physio.

Longterm my breast is fine I don’t seem to have developed any radiation fibrosis but I did persevere with physio for months.

Crop tops are the most comfortable type of bra. They are less likely to rub the irradiated area of skin and protect it from clothing rubbing it.

Good luck with everything and give yourself time to process what you are going through. You don’t have to bounce back.