Feeling fed up with the whole cancer thing

[drivinmecrazy]

Diagnosed last August with breast cancer. Multiple surgeries.
now on letrozole and implants.
about to start eight weeks of radiotherapy having turned down adjunctive chemo.

feeling so utterly fed up of it all tonight.

i know I’m incredibly fortunate that my cancer is treatable, but just can’t help feeling thoroughly fecked off with it all and just wish it would do one.

we can’t plan our trips like we used to.
our lives are constantly interrupted by doctors appointments or scans.

TBH it’s only been nine months but I can barely remember a time before cancer stamped its mark on our lives.

just so depressed with the whole bloody thing

💐it’s bloody hard graft and not consequence free. Sorry you are that situation it’s shit.

It sounds really, really challenging and not at all surprising that you’re fed up.

It is shit- but some day you’ll be down the line and it will be a teeny blip on the horizon. And not dominating or affecting your life. But it does suck and you’re quite right to be pissed off. You can plan some wee trips though for after this and if a follow up appt comes along tell them to reschedule!

It’s completely valid to be fed up. Just because it’s treatable (which, as you say, is lucky) it doesn’t mean it’s not completely dreadful to have your life ruled by all these treatments and their symptoms. You can’t live a normal life at the moment and that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope the treatment works as quickly as possible xx

It’s utterly shit!
Ive been diagnosed with 2 incurable cancers. My life isn’t my own now. I look forward to little things like my coffee and cake!

One day OP, you will have more control over your life and have more nice experiences. Hugs 🌼💕

Not what you posted about but I'm curious why you turned down chemo? ( I didn't want to do it either!).

I understand where you are coming from and can fully sympathise - I've had two separate primary cancers in the last year (bowel & endometrial), two lots of surgery and am currently having adjuvant radiotherapy (a total of 27 external sessions plus two lots of brachytherapy). It's a b*gger, isn;t it ?

I just hang on to the fact that once these sessions are done in a couple of months I should be 'no sign of disease' cancer-free with just the occasional follow up

My mum is on chemo for breast cancer … minimal side effects. Mum takes one pill in the am and two in pm for two weeks then a break for one week and then starts again. If your doctor recommends chemo I am surprised you have turned it down.

Adjunctive chemo with radiotherapy for some cancers is different from 'main treatment' chemotherapy.

The primary destroyer of the cancer is the radiotherapy. There is some research that having a small dose of chemo alongside can improve effectiveness - they do similar for cervical cancer where the main treatment is radiotherapy and it increases the effectiveness by around 3% to 6%.

Given the risks and potentially life changing side effects involved with having chemo and it often having a fairly small impact, choosing not to have it can be a very reasonable choice.

Apologies if I've got that wrong for your specific type of cancer op - cancer covers a broad spectrum (even breast cancer, there's many different types and treatment plans).

Op, I've been there and it's shit. But when you're going through shit, the only way is to keep going. I'm two years out of treatment now and my life no longer revolves around cancer. You will get there. Xx

I get it Op. it can feel relentless at times. It’s a ghost train with a new jump scare round each corner. Just keep buggering on.

@raspberrysparkles i hope your mum is doing well. Glad to hear she has minimal side effects. Unfortunately, not all chemo is like that. I had 16 rounds which were infusions into a Picc line which was left in my arm for 20 weeks. Whilst some days were ok, I was bed bound with exhaustion and pain for many cycles and had sickness and other side effects. Not something I would want to go through again. I was too ill to work and with low immunity wasn’t able to socialise as I would have wished (if I was well enough). It was dealable with day by day but hugely impactful on my life - and will give me a better chance going forward.

Totally understandable OP. Sending lots of good wishes x