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Cancer

Find advice & support if you or someone you know has been diagnosed with cancer

Prostate cancer advice

33 replies

Leighrj · 13/04/2025 19:10

Hi guys my partner has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, it's at the earlier stages but he has three options, surgery, radiotherapy or wait and watch. To us wait and watch isn't an option as why would we want to wait for something to grow. Surgery was our initial option as it says radiotherapy doesn't completely get rid of it only slows it down and shrinks it and we just want this cancer gone and out of our lives, however we are hearing horror stories about the surgery and was wondering if anybody had had the surgery and could tell us everything was ok afterwards? We’re aware it can make you incontinent for a while but was wondering did people get back to normal afterwards and how long did it take? Also does surgery make it spread to other places? Also been told they can pierce your bowel? Just over all really scared and heartbroken, please if anybody could give some advice, Thanks for listening

OP posts:
user1471550643 · 22/04/2025 18:54

Hi my husband wasn’t told this by his consultant and I can’t find anything relating shortening of life expectancy on a search. In fact it suggests it adds to it as the cancer is hopefully removed .I would suggest speaking to the surgeon who would be able to clarify absolutely for you

Hazlenuts2016 · 22/04/2025 21:10

Leighrj · 22/04/2025 17:43

Hi, thankyou for all of your advice and sharing your story. We have decided to go private and have the prostate removed and was quite happy with our decision however today we have come across some information online stating that if you have your prostate removed you live for only around 10/15 years after! Is this true do you know? And if so why is that? My partner is only young and this turned all our stomachs when we heard it, thanks again.

Never heard that from my DF. He is now over 15 years post op with no spread or recurrence.

Cynic17 · 22/04/2025 21:17

OP, your partner has been given 3 options. He needs to properly consider all 3, but not just go on "we have heard" or comments from unqualified people.
There must be a prostate cancer charity.... do they not have access to impartial and independent advice?
I'm afraid, ultimately, this is for your partner to decide.

Hazlenuts2016 · 22/04/2025 21:24

Cynic17 · 22/04/2025 21:17

OP, your partner has been given 3 options. He needs to properly consider all 3, but not just go on "we have heard" or comments from unqualified people.
There must be a prostate cancer charity.... do they not have access to impartial and independent advice?
I'm afraid, ultimately, this is for your partner to decide.

Agreed. Was just relaying my DFs experience and not suggesting a decision should be made based on it. Maybe be a bit kinder in your tone. None of us are pretending to be experts or trying to steer them towards one particular option.

Greysquirrels · 22/04/2025 21:53

Please call his specialist nurse and/or ask to speak to his consultant again. This is an important decision.

Radical prostatectomy is done with the aim of curing the cancer.

Radiotherapy here would also be aimed at cure - not just shrinking and controlling the cancer. If he is unsure about treatment I would recommend that he sees on oncologist (expert in radiotherapy) too.

His life expectancy would not be 10-15 years from either surgery or radiotherapy.

There used to be a school of thought that you shouldn't offer curative treatment for prostate cancer unless the patient was likely to live for another 10 + years, as if not they would probably die with, instead of die from their prostate cancer.

For example if you had an 85 year old with heart problems, intensive treatment of the prostate cancer is unlikely to increase their lifespan and so you would probably 'watch and wait' or give hormones alone. This spares the patient from the side effects of surgery or radiotherapy.

I wonder if that is where you have got the 10-15 year figure from?

Surgery and radiotherapy are both effective treatments for prostate cancer, but have different side effects.

When you speak to the consultant ask about complication rates including risk of impotence, incontinence and bowel issues, and the likelihood of needing further treatment. The fact that he has also been given the option of 'active surveillance ' means that he must have a fairly low risk cancer. Active surveillance is different to the watchful waiting offered to the v elderly or unfit. He would be monitored more closely with plan to intervene with surgery or radiotherapy if signs of cancer growing.

Good luck.

TheDevilWearPrimarni · 22/04/2025 21:58

@Leighrj
Sorry to hear that your partner has prostate cancer.
Radiotherapy does kill the cancer cells. It’s the Androgen Deprivation Therapy (injections or tablets that don’t kill it but starve it of testosterone so it can’t grow).
My DH was diagnosed 5 years ago at stage 3 where it had escaped from the prostate into local lymph nodes. He had ADT for 3 years, chemo and radiotherapy. He’s in remission but did suffer from the horrible side effects of the ADT. Bone thinning, lack of libido, mood swings and weight gain. He has been off treatment for 18 months now and is getting back to his own self now. It was very tough for both of us.
Surgery also has risks of incontinence and erectile dysfunction too.
Brachytherapy may also be an option but not all NHS trusts offer it.
If you have any questions do ask.
There are really good forums for support
https://community.prostatecanceruk.org/recentconversations
https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/prostate-cancer-forum

Prostate Cancer UK Online Community

A place to seek and offer support, ask questions, share information and chat about personal experiences of prostate cancer.

https://community.prostatecanceruk.org/recentconversations

stayathomegardener · 23/04/2025 12:27

Latest research shows that life expectancy for low grade prostate cancer is no different between the various options including watch and wait.
Have it removed sounds like the simple option but it’s more complicated than that.

NorthernDancer · 12/05/2025 12:01

Setting up camp here for a while. DH (72) has a PSA raised to a concerning level, constant back pain, low white blood cells and low neutrophils, weight loss, and feels very unwell and unable to continue to do the physical things he wants to do.

GP has referred him this morning. We went through all this cystoscopy etc five years ago - I can't believe it is happening again.

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