Likely breast cancer after ultrasound - thread 2

[spartanrunnergirl]

Welcome. The original thread (linked here ) was started after I had a mammogram recall and was told at the ultrasound that it was likely I had breast cancer - before biopsies were taken, and before I was ready to hear that (if you are ever ready to hear that).

I drove home gulping down tears with no idea what to do and no idea how to get through the days until my biopsy results. So I opened Mumsnet and made the original post, hoping someone might read it, and they did! One full thread later we are still sharing support, experiences, and advice. We’ve celebrated breast cancer wins and thrown virtual hugs around those who’ve needed it. (We’ve all needed it 💗)

For anyone opening this thread because they’ve found themselves in the same situation I was in … this is a hugely kind and caring bit of Mumsnet - where we’ve all felt that awful fear waiting for scans, tests, results, or with an early and uncertain diagnosis.

You are not alone.

This is the awful club - full of awesome women💗

So sorry @MrTiddlesTheCat. Have they given you some information to work on? What I will say at this stage is that it feels very overwhelming but once you know that you have a treatment plan and what it’s going to be, you will feel a whole lot better. I know it doesn’t feel like that now, but it will.

I'm booked in for surgery next week. Then radiotherapy. Dr thinks it's fully treatable but the can't confirm that until 3 weeks after surgery. They'll remove just the tumor and some lymph nodes to see if it's spread, but he doesn't think it has.

He said something about hormones and this making it very low risk for spreading. But I have to stop taking the contraceptive pill.

I'm so sorry to hear that @MrTiddlesTheCat . No matter how calmly you take the news and how much reassurance you get there is a visceral terror at this news.It is amazing how your mind gets used to it and you can get through it.

I don't know if it's temporary but I feel genuinely calm, for now at least. That may change when I tell my children later.

You know the bigger picture of what you’re dealing with now @MrTiddlesTheCat and can plan around that. It’s good to hear they were reassuring in terms of treatability and that surgery is soon so you can move another step on the way to being through this.

I'm sorry to hear it wasn't a positive outcome @MrTiddlesTheCat but I am glad you are feeling calm. I hope speaking your children later goes as well as it possibly can. That was my biggest concern throughout this so far and as awful as it was, they are OK and will be OK.

Thanks for the responses re: questions. Appreciate I am probably getting ahead of myself. Thanks for the link

That’s really positive news! If you only need radio and surgery then it’s the best possible outcome. Try and see that as a positive. They would have a good idea about node spread from ultrasound so the removal will be belts and braces. Mine were clear and radiographer said that at ultrasound so that was reassuring.

I don’t know how old your children are. I told my eldest straight away as she knew I was going to the clinic and she was an adult. My youngest was 7 years old and is AuDHD. I decided not to tell him anything unless I needed chemo and my appearance might change. I just told him I had a spot in my boob that needed to come out. Fortunately he accepted that. I did eventually have to be more clear with him because I did need chemo. As it happened, I was absolutely fine with it and didn’t lose my hair as the cold cap worked brilliantly for me.

The way you are feeling now is normal, it’s likely adrenaline. Again, no googling or looking stuff up that doesn’t apply to you. Have a big drink tonight (if you do indeed indulge!) and try and relax. You’ve got a journey ahead but hopefully it’ll be an easy one!

Sorry to read that @MrTiddlesTheCat It's a lot to take in, but your treatment plan does sound quite straightforward. I was also very, very calm when I got the news 🫂

I've just had the surgery and radiotherapy treatment with no chemo and no follow on drugs. The whole thing from diagnosis to end of radio took just over 3 months and thats it ! All done, just monitoring now. I had 3 weeks off work in total and consider myself lucky it was caught early and could be treated so "easily". None of the treatment was unbearable, it was just bloody inconvenient and messed up my plans for 3 months. I know I'm lucky.

For anyone else facing this treatment path, it's OK and perfectly doable. Before you know it, you will be back to your normal routine. I know it's shocking and knocks you off your course but it's OK, you can do it.

The doctor did laugh when he was talking about the surgery recovery. He was telling me about how it would feel afterwards, pain levels and stuff. Then he looked at my notes, saw about my accident and surgery then laughed and said that after what I'd already got through, this'd be nothing, I'd walk it. I found that oddly reassuring.

My children are 11 and 31. 11 year old DS cried but is now playing computer games. 32 year old DD asked if she could have my jewellry (she was joking). I said she inherits DH and DS, so now she's crying 😂.

I got myself through it by keeping my sense of humour, hopefully it works for you although it is still overwhelming! It sounds like a good outcome in a way, surgery and radiotherapy and you'll be done soon enough 😊 xx

I definitely kept my sense of humour - I don't really want people to think 'poor Bats'.

Honestly, my lumpectomy and sentinel node removal was easy. No pain, just a bit sore. Do the exercises they give you afterwards, as you need your mobility back for radiotherapy.

Dark humour is definitely the way forward (& swears out of earshot of children).

I've been following this thread for a few weeks and it's been tremendously reassuring and useful so thank you so much. Sorry to hear all that you're going through.
@MrTiddlesTheCat well done for getting through today. I had a similar appointment a couple of weeks ago and was terrified going in but felt strangely relieved afterwards.
I'm due a lumpectomy (I think it's just a lumpectomy, although waiting on a result to come through) very soon and have a random question about anyone who's had a lumpectomy and also previously had emergency c-sections - how would you say the recovery compares? Is it better because it's not an abdominal surgery or is it worse because it involves a general anaesthetic? The nurse said the general anaesthetic does stay in your system for a few weeks but I'm not sure what impact that has and what she meant by that really.

@CheerfulcharlieSorry that you have to be here. I’ve never had a section but I can assure you that a lumpectomy is pretty easy. I was home within a couple of hours and while I had to have a friend here because they wouldn’t let me out otherwise, I’m a lone parent and my son was small at the time and quite honestly I was back to normal activities the next day. I used painkillers for the first day or so but it is really not that bad. I was very surprised, I thought I’d be in agony. Hopefully you’ll be fine!

Hello again all you awesome women and thank you @spartanrunnergirl for starting it off again so beautifully.
For those of you I haven't met, I was diagnosed in 2019 after finding a visible lump. I've just realised my surgery to remove it was six years ago today. Grade 2, 20mm hormone-receptive lobullar cancer. Wide incision followed by 15 sessions of radiotherapy and Tamoxifen. I had genetic testing because of cancers in my DM and DSis, upshot of which was a cancer-causing variant of BRCA gene. So as a risk reduction (ovarian cancer @ 40%) had my ovaries removed in 2022. Nothing has really been overwhelmingly difficult apart from the initial, fearful wait.
I wouldn't claim much special insight but I did do some things a harder way than might have been necessary- as a military spouse my DH was deployed overseas and I went through the diagnosis and treatment alone, not wanting to worry family. I didn't tell people at work because I didn't want to be the 'cancer lady' everyone avoids. I didn't know how to tell my young sons (and still haven't). I moved my radiotherapy treatments from Southampton to Guy's so I could commute to Waterloo, get zapped then go in to the office as though nothing was amiss. I don't recommend any of these choices but I would encourage anyone who is staring down the barrel of this particular gun to choose your own way of managing what you have to manage- no-one else can do it for you so they don't really have a vote.
@MrTiddlesTheCat (aka Lucky) I'm sorry to welcome you aboard but have come to the right place. Your situation isn't the best one possible but it does sound like it's not the worst either- it sounds very treatable. You just have to recognise you aren't in control of this one and be prepared to surrender to the brilliant medical profession for a while.
@Bimblesalong thank you for outing yourself as Dancingwhilst. You were always my absolute heroine from Thread 1 so I'm really glad the new joiners can draw on your amazing grit and courage which has inspired so many.
@Chococakey so sorry you've been having an awful time- hang in there, you've definitely got this.
@Cheerfulcharlie welcome. I'm not an expert but have had both the operations you mention. I'd say the cesarian was more to recover from than the breast surgery despite the general anaesthetic. Having a huge gash sliced across your abdomen involves so many more moving parts whereas the breast is relatively isolated. GA takes time to recover from and is tiring but so long as you allow yourself to rest up it's not so bad imo.

Sounds just like my diagnosis. I had to wait 2 weeks after the surgery to confirm it hadn’t spread. Then I had 5 days of radiotherapy. Been on Letrozole now for over 2 years and managing side effects.

I’m booked for 14th May for WLE and Axillary node dissection after my node biopsy came back positive.
Haven't had the results of receptors back yet despite that being 4 weeks ago. Surgeon advised likely we won’t know this until after surgery now.
We have decided to cancel our holiday and hope we can go later in the year when things might be a little more settled

@PemberleynotWemberley tear in my eye there. We come a long way fast in this eh? It’s been made less horrendous by the companionship of other awesome women.

@Bitezbabe any tips on awful joint pains? I’ve only been on it for 3 weeks and am wondering what lovely surprise will pop up next.

My dr didn't say anything about medication aftetwards.

You will likely be on Tamoxifen or similar for between 5-10 years.

I just had the lumpectomy and radiotherapy for 5 days, no meds. This was for a DCIS tumour so it is possible but take your oncologist's advice.