30 year old and just found out husband has cancer - help

[Heygal]

I feel numb. My DH (36) had a pain around 8.5 weeks ago in his abdomen which led us to going to the doctors. It was suggested to have a bladder scan, blood tests, than then lead to an MRI, which led to a biopsy and today we got the results. We went to the hospital to see a specialist nurse. I had been so hopeful that by seeing a nurse we would be okay. However when we entered the room with three people present with one being a support worker we just knew.

The nurse confirmed prostate cancer, type 1. We have been told throughout that the chances of someone his age having cancer is less than 1%. I really didn’t think he’d be so unlucky? Because of his age and the fact it is type 1 no treatment is planned besides constant monitoring however should it develop they will want to operate and remove his prostate. With that comes infertility and potential issues with erections etc. The nurse said semen could be frozen and ivf an option to expand the family further should we wish.

My DH is the love of my life and we have been together for 12 years, married for almost 3. We have two babies… one just turned 2 and the other 4 months old. I am in such denial that this could be true?

prostate cancer is very rare in younger men and I have no idea where to go for help and support. Of course many older gentlemen have prostate cancer (his own father in fact) but in a way that’s making my DH feel worse. I am not sure what I’m asking for, maybe a hand hold?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it must be such a shock for you.

if no treatment and keeping a close eye on your do, this will hopefully mean it’s very treatable? But nonetheless a scary time

I'm so sorry to hear this and you definately get a virtual hand hold from me.

I think people who get cancer are just bloody unlucky to be honest. It's so arbitrary.

Watch and wait. It's all we can do.

Enjoy life! Enjoy the kids.

I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope all goes smoothly with any treatment and care.

take care of yourself too

OP, survival rates are very good for prostate cancer. They have found it early and are sufficiently unconcerned that they don't plan any immediate action.

Follow their advice. Listen to the cancer nurses who are outstanding. Focus on boosting his immune system through diet, and be as supportive as you can. And find someone in real life to talk to. You need support just as he does.

I understand your anxiety & fear.
I was there just over a year ago when my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer, His PSA level was 14.5 so very high. Like your husband it was confined within the prostate.
He's had a 6 week radiotherapy course and also has 3 monthly hormone treatment injections which will continue for another year.
He is monitored closely and has regular blood checks to check his PSA levels. The last 2 tests gave a reading of 0.01 so he's on the right track.
You will receive ongoing support from specialist nurses.
I would also say the fact that no treatment is being planned for your husband at present, shows they are confident he will be ok, otherwise they would be acting now with treatment.
Do some research as there are alternatives to having the prostate removed,
Thinking of you, I know how hard it is....

I'm so sorry to hear this.

I don't know much about prostate cancer but have had two other forms of cancer. For support, information and to meet online with others who have been or are going through a similar experience I'd thoroughly recommend the online community over on the MacMillan website.
Macmillan Online Community
Prostate cancer forum | Macmillan Online Community

As well as forums for specific types of cancer there are also ones for partners and carers, and you can also phone or online chat with a MacMillan support worker.

It's a shock as he is so young, I would say use this as a call to get your finances, insurance wills etc in order so next if something crops up you are covered. My dad is 76 and has stage one too, all they do is monitor it he goes every three months and last time they moved that to six months as he was no worse,

Sorry to hear this. It is my area, so I'll try to offer advice, do you know the gleason score? It's a sum from the biopsy usually 3+3, 4+5 etc. Do you know the PSA blood test result. Any other prostate cancer in his family? Father, brothers, uncles? Does he has a history of breast or ovarian cancer in the female family?

@Hohofortherobbers thank you, it’s 3+3 so the lower kind. FIL had a score of 9 and his uncle 7. Both are still alive but FIL’s cancer has returned after 2 years clear. He is being sent to London for I think the seed treatment? He has sisters only. As far as I am aware bo other cancers. We have been told he is being referred for genetic counselling. We have two sons so something I am very concerned about.

That’s good advice @Doggymummar fortunately our wills are already in place and generally our finances are too besides being on SMP at the moment!! I’ll think about LPAs however.

With the family history it's possible he has an inherited BrCa mutation. Some therapies like parp inhibitors (olaparib) are useful when there is a BrCa mutation and may be considered. His father and uncle would benefit from genetic investigating too. Is it your husband who's having the radioactive iodine seed implants or his relative?
Do you know his PSA blood result?

Hello
So sorry you and your DH are going through this. Try not to google too much and ask any clinical questions to your DH hospital team.
In addition to macmillan helpline and the link to the prostate forum above here are a few links where you can find info and support

Prostate cancer uk
https://prostatecanceruk.org/

Shine cancer support for people in 20-40s - support for carers/loved ones too
https://shinecancersupport.org/

Also supports younger people with cancer

https://www.trekstock.com/

Take good care of yourself and surround yourself with loving family/friends who. Lots of these charities also have forums & support for loved ones too so reach out.

@Hohofortherobbers his psa was 3.2. They proceeded to biopsy due to family history and a score of 3 on the MRI.

its my FIL who will have the seed treatment. I believe both FIL and uncle would be prepared to have test done? I’m not sure what happens in that process.

My world feels like it’s imploding but I’m also appreciative the diagnosis could be different. We aren’t sure whether we want to stop having babies so this is a massive curveball.
I never thought he’d be the sick one either.

His markers are favourable, the psa is low, the gleason score 3+3 is slow growing and not aggressive. He'll be watched closely with regular MRIs and PSA blood tests, you will have time to make a decision about treatment in the future, right now this is not life threatening.

I am sorry, as you say this is a bombshell for you, and if its an inheredited BrCa gene there is a possibility your children will have inherited it, this is scary but it might not be inherited. You dont know this yet. You should try and reassure yourself that his cancer is not a risk to his life currently. It may never be, if repeat scans over the next few years indicate a change then he'd have either a prostatectomy or radiotherapy. Both these have a high cure rate.

@Heygal We found out my husband has prostate cancer yesterday :( he’s 47, we have 2 young children 6&3. It’s all such a shock, because he’s so young and the cancer is contained, (score 3+4) his only option is removal, as told he’s too young for radiotherapy, as if it came back they couldn’t remove it. We are now trying to get our heads around the impacts of removal for him, it’s all so unfair isn’t it x

@Sunshineliberty I am so sorry you are experiencing this too with your husband. That’s interesting about the radiotherapy, my husband has been told too they’d go straight to taking it out due to the success of being a younger man. Will you husband have sperm frozen? We will want to do that should removal arise. It’s so unfair, at any stage for anyone, but with them being in the slim chance category it’s so shocking.

@Heygal we have finished having children, so no freezing. It’s all so unfair, we will opt for full removal as no other choice, going back in May to discuss this. We are also worrying about the impacts on him post removal, it’s a big deal. Happy to support each other offline x