Thinking the worst :(

[whoops2024]

Just lying here in bed since 3am sobbing. Surely life can't be this cruel?

Just a little on my back story. Pregnant 2020 with a baby boy and found out he had a rare genetic disease and died full term 💔

Partner and I had tests and discovered we both carry a genetic disease that could be passed onto future children.

2021 fell pregnant with baby boy number 2. Private tests came back clear and we had a beautiful baby boy, who is now 3 years old 🫶🏼

2024 fell pregnant again and tests done again and thankfully this baby too was clear from the disease and we now have a beautiful baby girl who is 4 months old.

During my pregnancy with her I married my now husband and haven't been happier! Life is perfect now after such heartbreak and depression from losing our first son.

2025- my mission is to get healthy, lose some weight and be fit for my kids!

But since I have had extreme bloating, pains in lower abdomen, swelling around stomach, back pain, irregular bowel movements with extreme pain, fatigue, UTI pain (been on antibiotics) and now I have woken up bleeding. My periods are usually regular and appear like clockwork every 28 days. But I've calculated I'm 11 days early! What on earth!

Stupidly gone onto Google and seen the worst! All my symptoms link to the dreaded C.

I woke my partner up and just been sobbing on his shoulder. He's telling me to breathe and stay calm, but I can't. I'm watching my beautiful girl sleeping peacefully in her cot and watching my son on the monitor and feel sick to my stomach. What if something is really wrong?

I've always suffered from bloating and had tests done in the past.

I went drs yesterday and I'm having blood tests done and sending off stool samples. I can't get the blood tests done until April as no earlier slots available. I'm a mess 😭

Just wanted a safe space to write this. Please no judgement. Thanks to those who have read this far. 😭🫶🏼

Please try to get back to sleep. Things always seem worse in the middle of the night.

If your doctor was very concerned, one would imagine she / he would have fast tracked your tests.

Im so sorry for your first baby.

It's much more likely to be something else. Much.

Thanks both didn't expect such quick responses at this time of the morning!

@mumyes I'm really trying to go back to sleep :( so hard to! Maybe putting my phone down would be wise 🤦🏻‍♀️
Reading a little more over discovered the blood test she was on about is the one that tests for ovarian cancer. That's why I'm super panicked as she clearly wants that to be checked 😔

@AnotherVice I really really hope so 🙏🫶🏼

@Bertielong3 thanks for your response. Trying my best to stay positive! I will look into this thank you 🙏🫶🏼

I have no advice but couldn’t read and run. There are probably a million of other things it could be and Dr Google is definitely a pessimist. I know it’s futile but please try not to worry. Sending you hugs.

Firstly sending a hug. Please try not to overthink too much, I had bleeding after the menopause, turned out to be polyps which were easily removed. Honestly there are many reasons for your symptoms.

This could be so so many things. Not necessarily ca. Even if it was there is so much CURATIVE treatment available these days. More ca survivors than ever before due to advances in treatment and detection.

I think you’re so grateful for your precious life right now that you can’t believe your luck. Your brain is therefore creating a catastrophe. It’s likely related to the tragic loss of your first son. Your brain is working overtime.

Once you have this sorted you should consider some counselling if you haven’t already. Have a nice cup of tea and go back to sleep for an hour.x

Was it a CA125 blood test ? That is a really common test for GPs to order - I have gallbladder pain and have had it a couple of times over the years

You are unlikely to have ovarian cancer due to your age.

In those rare cases where a younger woman does have it, it is often picked up during antenatal visits by scans, midwife examining stomach area, blood tests etc. All of which you would have had recently.

I have faced some awful situations in my life, I certainly have not had one if those lives where I have just sailed through with no issues. I have realised that there is no point in worrying about issues you have no control over. What good does it do? I am not religious, but I have a couple of friends that are, and they both use an expression that I find helpful ‘give it (the problem) to the Lord’. So if it is an issue that I have absolutely no control over, I bundle it all up, and give my problem away, put it out there, into the ether. The only thing that you can do is to keep you and your lovely family as healthy as you can, sleep, fresh air, enjoyment.

Didn’t want to read and run, hope you got some sleep. Just to add, your GP is being thorough sending those bloods but it seems like they don’t suspect you have cancer as you would otherwise fall under the urgent category so wouldn’t be waiting until April for it. It sounds like a ‘let’s rule it out’ scenario 🤞

Hi everyone thanks all for your kind comments and reassuring words!
I will take that the bloods not being classed aa urgent a sign that like you say @Btowngirl it's just a "let's rule it out" 🙏🙏

@DoNotAdjustYourSex - that's what I thought too as I have been scanned so many times throughout each pregnancy and a lot more because of what happened to my son. I asked the dr that surely if it was something sinister it would have been picked up and she said "not necessarily" which made me freak out more. 🫠 but like you say I will try my very best to bundle it up and chuck it elsewhere as at the mo it's something I can't control.

But @Theextraordinaryisintheordinary
Says after what I've been through my mind does think so catastrophically you're so right 😔 I tried CBT And found it so hard as I always had to think up worries which made me even more of an anxious mess. I may have to try a different route when I go off mat leave and can afford decent therapy

@Butterbeanbutterbo - yes that one! Thanks for reassurance that it's common to have done! 🙏