20 yers ago, I contacted TB, but despite repeated pleas and GP VISITS, I was told I was a “whingeing hypochondriac” ( have this in writing) . Eventually I collapsed with advanced pulmonary TB. 19 years ago I was misdiagnosed with MS ( in fact I had a slipped disc). The consultant who diagnosed me is an expert in his field. Despite me having never had MS symptoms, he won’t retract or reconsider his diagnosis. Aged 37, I developed pain so excruciating in my right hip I was forced to use a wheelchair. No doctor would listen to my pleas, I was told the pain was MS. Eventually I saved enough for a private consultation. My right hip was eaten away with TB. My recovery was blighted by bouts of dizziness, falls, pain. Again , I was told MS. 5 years later after extensive research I was able to visit the only uk specialist in Gluten ataxia. I had gluten ataxia. 7 years later, free of gluten I am just learning to walk again. Despite always having smears, last year, I was diagnosed with cervical stage 3 cancer. My “complex medical history”, and “poor immune system” means oncologist ( NHS) would not give me chemo. I got a private 2nd opinion, and would you believe he sided with my oncologist because he’d taught her at med. school. I was treated with radiotherapy. Tumour shrunk 5 cm, at Christmas 24 , no longer reading as cancerous on MRI. Last week, I’m told it’s back. Now Awaiting a pet scan. Last week I cried all week. Yesterday I called a funeral director to ask about cremation for myself, a death doula, and I’ve written a eulogy. My oncologist is unlikely to give me any further treatment. She is brilliant, phenomenal at her work, but has zero bedside manner. When I said “you are going to leave me to die”, she said “we all have to die”. Based on her attitude to me ( no idea why I have a “poor immune system” - work out 5 x a week, no infections 5 years plus, vegan, good healing ) I feel hung out to dry. I don’t want to die. I’m 59, married, no kids, close extended family.. MacMillan suggested contacting PALS about oncologists poor comms and lousy attitude, but I could be dead before they do anything. If I ask for another oncologist, it could be frying pan /fire. My sister won’t believe nothing can be done, but I feel I’m consigned to dying…….i feel alone, helpless, any advice anyone?.