Mum (49) has non-curable cancer and I’m only 27

[Dogandflowerlover]

Hi everyone,

My mum was diagnosed with curable breast cancer in 2022, had all the treatments offered, and recovered quickly. However, it would seem that at some point down the line the cancer spread, since she has just been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in at least her lungs (a biopsy next week will confirm whether it’s in a different place as well).

Her prognosis is just 2-3 years, I have no family (estranged from them all), and she doesn’t like me talking to friends - instead wants me to seek the support of counsellors only.

I grew up with my mum only. She’s only 49, and I’m only 27!!

Is anyone in a similar situation? I’m really struggling TBH and really worried about the future. Thankfully I do have some good friends and a boyfriend who treats me well, but I am still struggling quite a bit!

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I went through the same thing last year. My mum was 55 and I was 38.
It sounds like you do have a complex relationship with your mum and I do think counselling to address that would be a good idea, if you can I would look to build more of a support network around yourself.

What an awful shock OP, I am so sorry to read your post.
Just giving this a bump so hopefully others will be along soon.

I am so sorry. You are no age to be losing your mum.

I too was raised just by my mum, with no siblings, so I know how close that bond can be.

Words seem inadequate for what you’re going through, but if the sympathy and compassion of a stranger mean anything, please know you have mine.

Please try to be kind to yourself during this dreadful time.

I lost my mum to cancer when I was 25, no siblings but luckily lots of aunts and family friends.

Its crap I’m sorry. I would ignore your mum and lean on your friends tbh. You don’t have to tell them about the ins and outs of your mum but they will be able to support you.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am in a similar position sadly, my Mum is 68 and has stage 4 cancer, I'm 32. I'm absolutely heartbroken. I think speaking to a counsellor would definitely help but also if you feel comfortable talking to friends then do that to, I know you say your Mum doesn't want you to but if that's what you need to feel supported then I would say you have to follow that. Is there a reason she doesn't want you to speak to friends?
I wish there was something more I could do or say to help, life can be really shit sometimes. Sending you love.

I'm so sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis and how you are feeling.

You will need to lean on your friends more than ever and in this case it's ok to ignore your mums views on this and get all the support you need.

She doesn't have to know who you are talking to.

Im so sorry to hear this.
I was also brought up just by my mum, i was 21 when she passed from cancer and she was 48.
You never truly get over it but time really is a healer and now im so grateful at the relationship i had with her.
Spend as much time with her as possible, i was at uni when my mum was going through treatment and i wish i spent more time with her.
Memories are everything.

Hi there
Once you get a plan you will feel better. Ive had BC in the bones (all of them) and liver and Im still here, over 5 years later and I live a relatively good life and still work 2 days a week as a teacher. Im 55. Hope that helps a bit